In The Shadows
by define-serenity
Summary: [Edward/Bella] Vampire Bella is an artist. The Cullens offer to become her patrons and she's confronted by a new lifestyle. When she meets Edward, will she find love, or will her past with James come between them? COMPLETE.
1. Isabella Swan

**author's notes: **it's my very first Twilight series, and i'm really curious to read any reviews and general responses. special thanks to my wonderful beta **helaluvE**.

**characters:** Bella, Lauren

******warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**************disclaimer:** without prejudice. the names of all characters contained here-in are the property of Stephenie Meyer. no infringments of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.

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**IN THE SHADOWS;;**

**chapter 1: **Isabella Swan

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_(Bella POV)_

I didn't sleep. At all. But I was lying down with my eyes closed, pretending that the images that were playing behind my eyelids were the dreams I would have had if I'd still been human. And it was actually a relief to not have to wear the contacts. I normally would at a time like this, but Lauren knew how I got sometimes.

Lauren was my agent. No, that's not right. She wasn't just my agent. She was a confidant, my eyes and ears, and yes, out there she was even my body. But I didn't like her. Because I _couldn't _like her. If I allowed myself to get too close I could lose control, and I'd been trying so very hard to avoid that.

Lauren made it easy though. She was of the conviction that I was one of those tortured artists that revelled in their own solitude, martyrs of sorts, completely of their own choosing. In my case, I didn't think she had any idea how close she was to the actual truth. I heard her coming up the stairs, but I didn't make a move. She knocked, as always, but she never waited for me to answer. Somehow she'd grown accustomed to me just knowing when she was there. Luckily, she didn't question that ability.

"Bella?" her voice was high and sharp, a perfect complementation to her mannequin protein-shake constructed body. Probably a good thing we weren't friends; she wouldn't taste good either way. "Oh, there you are." She sniffed loudly, probably bothered by the smell of turpentine. "You really should open a window in here. Honestly Bells, how can you stand this smell?"

_Easy,_ I thought,_ I don't breathe_. I heard the vibrations her waving hand made in the air, but I still didn't move. She opened a window to ease her own breathing, and when she came closer to me I started faking my own. She must've realised what I was doing, because it was quiet for a very long time, only the sound of our breathing. I briefly wondered why she was there in the first place: we hadn't agreed on a meeting.

"Is everything in order for the exhibition tonight?" I asked, slightly worried that she would say no, and that I would have to help make arrangements. That's what I paid _her _for: sell my artwork, socialize with the clients and not ask me questions.

"Of course it is," she sighed, a highly unpleasant sound. "Have I ever let you down?" _No_, I thought, but in my personal experience there was a first for everything. Just like there was an exception to every rule. You know, those trite things humans invented but deep down still held some truth. That's how they became trite in the first place, commonplace, myth, rumour. Like the fact that vampires exist. I was the exception to that rule.

"So you're really here to try and convince me to attend?" I kept my position on the floor, my eyes remaining closed.

"I know we're past this. But yes." She tapped the tip of her shoe against the wall a few times; the reason eluded me. "There are some pretty important clients coming tonight. The_ Cullens_." She spoke the names as if they were to be worshipped.

"Never heard of them," I said.

"They mostly keep to themselves, but you know you're doing something right when they come out for a personal visit," the reverie in her voice was easily imaginable. I thought about it. What would _reverie_ look like outside the human face? I thought it must look something like a halo of light. "Trust me, these folks? They know their art."

"And you don't think you can handle them?"

"I'm saying they're the kind of people that like to know the person behind the art?" She made it a question, as if I was already supposed to know the answer after the amount of time I've spent in this business. She didn't seem to understand that I had absolutely no care for the business, I merely liked what I did, and the lifestyle was a perfect excuse to avoid crowds.

"You know I don't like to be around people," I said, and it was true, I just barely tolerated Lauren's presence right now. But an entire room full of people? All veins and rivers of red for me to be tempted. I didn't think I was strong enough for that just yet. Or ever for that matter.

"That's what I'm saying, neither do these folks," irritation sounded through in her voice, and I heard her heart beat faster. It didn't do that very often, _her_ heart. Lauren was usually in control of her temper. These Cullens really must be something. "But they're willing to make an exception to buy _your_ art and meet you."

_Wait_. Her heart skipped a beat, probably because she saw how I suddenly stopped breathing, humanly thinking that I had merely come to a shocking conclusion and would start breathing again in a matter of seconds. I couldn't. So I sat up on the floor quickly, and turned my back on her when I opened my eyes: the deep crimson colour in them would only scare her off. "You've already arranged for me to meet them, haven't you?" I asked when I realised that her irritation was actually nervousness.

"Don't get mad," she sighed. I couldn't get mad, not without directly exposing myself, or worse, kill her.

"Lauren," I threatened, suppressing a hiss. I balled my hands up in fists and stopped breathing again. I couldn't afford to lose control, not now that I'd finally settled in. And I planned to stick around for at least five years. That was the plan, and I would stay true to it.

"I gave them a preview last night," she blurted out. I recognized this, I believe humans called it _word vomit_ or something equally distasteful, either terms were lost on me completely. I didn't speak that much as it was and when I did, it wasn't really worth listening to. "You should have seen the look on their faces, Bells." I winced at her nickname for me. It was worse than people calling me Isabella – my _artist_ name, because everyone seemed to think that it sounded more artsy – but I didn't need that either. It was Bella. "You'd think they'd never seen art before. They liked the _Woman with Child_ immediately."

The _Woman with Child_? That old thing? Not to mention completely wrong. Why Lauren insisted on keeping it around was beyond me. "You sold them that?" I frowned, mostly to myself, and chewed my bottom lip.

"Bells, they _loved_ it." Lauren took a few steps and stood by the window; I wasn't aware the smell was _that_ bad. It helped when breathing wasn't necessary. "They stood discussing it a while at first, like they didn't know what they were seeing. But then it was like the truth was revealed to them or something. _Seriously_." Sometimes I really enjoyed Lauren's way of putting things.

"They want to meet me?"

"Tonight at the exhibition, yes," Lauren answered, tapping her heel against the wall this time. I really wish she'd stop doing that. "Please please _please_, Bella, you _have_ to meet them. It could be extremely beneficial for your career. These people are loaded."

I was still hung up on the specific painting they had bought. My other work was very good as well – no, I wasn't walking next to my shoes when I said things like that, a vampire's eye saw much more of the spectrum than a human's did – but for these ordinary people to actually buy my early work. But then, who said anything about ordinary?

"What did they look like?" I asked, lost in thought.

"Does it really matter?" Lauren retorted.

"Humour me."

"Well, they were—" Lauren took a breath and thought through her answer, which was unusual for her. "Come to think they were extremely— well, he was attractive. _Very_ attractive. And the missus was just downright gorgeous."

I knew it, no human would go for my early work because they thought it was _beautiful_. There was too much going on in the canvas for a human mind to capture. But a _vampire_ mind. Yes. "Bring them around to the apartment when they arrive," I said, unexpectedly, because I was almost sure I was yet to make up my mind. The words were out before I knew it.

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**if you can please let me know what you think!**


	2. The Cullens

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**Chapter Two: THE CULLENS  
**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. It's my very first Twilight series, and I'm really curious to read any reviews and general responses.

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_(Bella POV)_**  
**

I looked at myself in the mirror; I hoped I looked somewhat decent. I really had nothing to go on besides what I had witnessed on my scarce night outings. I had no fashion sense whatsoever; the only real thing I knew was that blue was definitely my colour. I don't even remember if it was before I became a vampire; those memories were muddled beyond recognition.

I'd let the apartment air out all day, just to get rid of the smell, but now the windows were closed to prevent myself from being tempted to go out and get a midnight snack. That probably wouldn't discomfort my guests if I was right about them, but still, it wasn't civilized, and I prided myself particularly in that fact. Whenever I did interact with humans in a situation that didn't involve quenching my thirst, I was polite.

I knew I was right about the Cullens from the moment they entered the building, air-conditioning and crossing streams of air carrying their scent up the stairs, under the door. Their scent was distinct, potent, just like others of our kind. But somehow the Cullens were even more unique, something sweet mixed into their smell that I couldn't quite place.

I was still in the bedroom when Lauren led them in, leaving me alone with them once they were settled, just like I had requested. I was determined not to put my contacts in tonight; the venom in my eyes would burn through them in a matter of hours anyhow. I stayed where I was for a few minutes longer, listening in on parts of their conversation.

_Nice decoration_ a female voice said, the same sweet sound also in her tone _I really like the way the curtains our done, I wonder how she did that_. I chuckled lightly, knowing that they'd hear it no matter what. I'd only just put the curtains up in a coherent heap, to allow for the windows to open completely earlier; I'd actually forgotten to take them down.

_She's quite the artist_ a male voice said then, not harsh one bit, and not how I knew other males of our kind to sound. He sounded like a gentle soul, if such a thing were even possible. I assumed he was referring to the painting hanging right above the flat-screen TV I never used; it was the only painting I'd kept for myself.

I took a breath I didn't really need, and ventured a step inside.

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_(Esme POV)  
_

The creature that joined us in the big living room was one of the most beautiful vampires I had seen since long. Obviously Rosalie and Alice were gorgeous, but Isabella was something different entirely. A different kind of beauty that I could equally appreciate. Her pale white skin contrasted with her dark brown hair, but not in a distasteful way. I could almost imagine her being human with the same complexion.

I liked her instantly.

"Isabella," Carlisle's voice sang out to her. She walked over to us shyly, her arms behind her back. She was everything I thought she would be: pretty, sweet, intelligent. I knew we hadn't even been properly introduced yet, but I already felt like I knew her.

I noticed the eyes when she looked at us properly: a deep crimson red, unlike my husband's and mine. I wasn't fazed by it; we'd known what to expect before entering the apartment.

"Just Bella, please," she glided over to us, her voice a velvety shade to it. She stretched out a hand towards me first; there was no difference in temperature when our skins met. "You must be Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

"A pleasure to meet you Bella," she shook Carlisle's hand next and took a step back. I guessed she wasn't used to having people around.

"Your work is amazing," I said, eyes full of wonderment. She reminded me of Edward, a little, the artist in our family. A musician, true, but he created such wonders. The same wonders this girl created with her hands. "We've never seen such detail, in anything. Even for our kind your style is... fascinating. And so light."

"Thank you," she bowed her head and smiled. I'm sure that if she could have blushed, she would have. "You are very kind," polite too. I briefly wondered how old she was, both in human years as in our years. She looked like a teenager, but she acted older.

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_(Carlisle POV)  
_

"This is one of yours as well?" I asked, and pointed towards the painting hanging above the TV. Esme and I had been discussing it moments ago; a conversation she had been listening in to. In truth, it resembled more of a picture than an actual painting; though for humans it would be unmistakably painted. It was the picture of a little girl. I wondered if it was herself.

"Yes," she nodded, and stared at the painting with what I would call melancholy. Longing for a different time. _Don't we all_. "My first, after I was turned," she bowed her head down again, willing away the memory I had just awakened. It hadn't been my intention to pry.

"We were wondering if you took commissions," Esme said, undoubtedly having also picked up on Bella's growing discomfort. She was definitely not a socialite. "We've been looking for someone who would be willing to make some family portraits. And well, we think you would be perfect, not just because of..." Esme's voice trailed off.

"Oh," Bella cast down her eyes, clearly surprised by the request.

"What's the matter?" Esme asked.

"I don't really... I mean no-one's ever..." her brow furrowed as she struggled to find the proper words, if they were such things indeed. "I don't leave here, except for... eating." She looked uncomfortable admitting this to us, while we understood better than most.

"We will pay you, of course," I said, "Buy you supplies, canvases. And we'd want you to stay with us for the duration of your work," I added, knowing that if Bella said yes, Alice would probably have a studio set up by the time we got back.

"I don't know. I can't..."

"And sustenance," I very specifically said, Esme looking up at me, smiling softly in encouragement. We had human blood around the house in case of emergencies; it wouldn't be hard to get some more.

She looked at us suspiciously, focusing on our eyes. She must have noticed that they were different from hers from the beginning. "You are different from the rest of our kind," she observed correctly.

---

_(Bella POV)  
_

"Obviously we can't allow you to hunt the way you normally do," Dr Cullen said. I wondered what kind of doctor he was. Could he really be a surgeon or something, be able to treat open wounds and withstand the temptation of biting down? "But we have access to human blood for you," he made it sound like they didn't drink it themselves.

"My husband is a doctor," Mrs Cullen explained, but none of it answered my most urgent question. What did they survive on? The blood of animals would probably be a correct assumption, and it could explain why their eyes were a different colour than mine. Was such a thing really possible?

"What would you want me to do?" the same instant reaction slipped from my tongue as earlier today. My curiosity was getting the best of me, I wanted to know more about them.

"Portraits. Of us. And of our children," Esme said the word with such compassion that for just a split moment I thought she was talking about actual children. But I knew such a thing was not possible physically, and immortal children were forbidden. I didn't know much, but some rules spoke for themselves.

They both caught my questioning stare, but it was Carlisle who answered: "To the outside world they are our foster children. Two girls, three boys." I had never heard of such a large coven of vampires before, let alone a coven that lived solely of the blood of animals. Yes, I definitely needed to find out more about them.


	3. Moving

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**Chapter Three: Moving**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. When Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her and then offer to become her patrons, she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either.

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE 3. Also thanks to my readers and the reviews they have been leaving! it's always great to get feedback on a story, especially one as dear to me as this one.

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_(Bella POV)_

I didn't know what to pack. To be honest, I didn't know _how_ to pack. I'd googled Forks, _Washington_ a few times now, and had come to the conclusion that it was going to be wet. It seemed like the perfect town for a family of vampires to live to avoid detection. But was I expected to mingle with the locals as well? Best to pack some contacts just to be safe. But how many? This is exactly why I didn't go out!

Should I go by plane? By car? How could I avoid most of the temptation? Maybe I should consider raiding a blood clinic or something, so I can make the move; either way it wasn't going to be a smooth transition.

"Lauren please, I'll handle it," I skipped from one side of the room to the other quickly, packing whatever 'warmer' clothing I could get my hands on. It wasn't much. I heard a loud sigh at the other end of the line.

"Says the most socially awkward person I've ever met," Lauren said. "I'm serious Bells, don't screw this up okay?" her voice was loud, laced with the hope that she sounded somewhat authoritative. She'd expressed her wish to go with me, but there was no way on earth that I was going to allow that. Of course she didn't know that in this particular situation, I'd be much more at ease than she would be. _Go figure_.

The morning I was scheduled to leave, a car was waiting for me outside. The driver, a young man, or well, a vampire skipped over to me. My eyes widened in surprise when I got a closer look at him: there were scars all over his face; half-moons that I'm guessing also covered the rest of his body. Vampire bites? "Hi," he grinned at me, probably used to being scrutinized like that, "I'm Jasper. Carlisle thought it might be easier for you if I drove you."

"He's too kind," I answered, even though part of me wanted to jump up out of relief. Instead, I released a breath.

The ride took us the better part of the day and passed in virtual silence. I caught him glancing at me through the rear-view mirror a few times, but he didn't ask me anything, nor did he try to start a conversation. For all the anxiety I had felt earlier, I felt strangely at ease right now. This was definitely not normal for me, but I chucked it up to the fact that I had circumvented a potentially disastrous road trip for some other poor soul.

The windows of the car were tinted, making sure our faces remained cloaked from the outside world; our sparkling skin in the afternoon sun would surely raise questions. I became instantly aware when we came closer to Forks; the sky closed up above us in a shroud of clouds. I took a deep breath; this would be my home for the foreseeable future. To be honest, I'd seen worse places.

"You go on inside," Jasper told me when he pulled up to the Cullen's house. The house was everything I hadn't been expecting: light and open, with glass everywhere. I stood gazing at the mansion while Jasper got my bags, all of them at once, and led me to the front door. "Pretty impressive, isn't it?" a hint of a Southern accent seeped through in his voice.

I only stared in awe.

"You have such a beautiful home," I told Esme Cullen when she joined me in the living room; Jasper had disappeared somewhere upstairs with my bags. I got the vague and strange impression that somehow I'd be taken care off like I was one of their own.

"Thank you," Esme smiled at me softly, and again the only vibe I got from her was a really motherly feeling. I never thought such a thing was possible for our kind. Maybe there was hope for me yet.

I finally noticed that the far wall of the living room was made entirely out of glass. It seemed odd for vampires to have such an open house to live in, but then we were in the middle of nowhere. This could very well be the one place they could be themselves, without having to hide what they really are.

---

_(Rosalie POV)_

"Oh she's here!" Alice exclaimed, and reappeared from behind the easel she had been strategically placing for the past five minutes. We both heard Jasper pull up the car in front of the house and getting out of it. Behind him, Bella's footsteps came hesitantly, yet they seemed calculated.

We finished up her studio while Esme greeted our new house guest. Alice insisted that everything was just right. I think she'd dusted the room about four times now. There was no way a single dust particle had survived that. From the moment Alice had seen how Bella made up her mind about coming here, she had the house in uproar. No wonder Edward and Emmett had disappeared off into the woods, supposedly to hunt. _Yeah right_.

Alice and I glided down the stairs when we heard Esme calling our names. Bella was in the living room, standing rather uncomfortably, staring around at the artwork Esme and Carlisle had brought from their many trips. "Bella, these are my daughters Rosalie and Alice," Esme introduced us.

"I'm Jasper's wife, he probably didn't tell you," Alice skipped forward excitedly and hugged Bella in a tight embrace. Her red eyes went wide in surprise, and she looked like she didn't know what to do with her arms. Poor thing, being subjugated to Alice so suddenly. I found that there always needed to be a grace period before getting used to Alice. She was the sweetest thing you'd ever meet, even if you were a human, but you needed some time to adjust to her whirlwind rhythm. Maybe it was lucky that Bella was a vampire.

"Rosalie," I introduced myself and offered her a hand. She shook it, grateful that I didn't hug her too. She was pretty, in a way, and her red eyes matched a particular shade of colour in her hair that was reddish as well.

"Oh my," Bella said, and stared down at her shoes. She was shy. She looked back up towards Esme, and chewed her bottom lip for a moment. "You do realise that if I paint your family, I could never do their beauty any justice?" Esme smiled a broad smile and moved forward, placing a hand on Bella's shoulder. That really didn't matter to her; she knew we were beautiful. It was the keepsake that mattered, for when any of us decided to go to college in Europe, or go on honeymoon again.

Emmett knocked on the outer window then, grinning back at the four of us, waving grandly at Bella. "My big goof-ball," I grinned at Bella, and she smiled back hesitantly.

"You said three boys?" Bella asked Esme. It was obvious that only Esme's presence currently put her somewhat at ease, but I was pretty sure that once she got to know _some_ of us, she'd warm up to them as well. _Hell_, Alice already thought of her as a new sister. Somehow I didn't think this was entirely without reason.

"Emmett, where's Edward?" Esme asked my man when he skipped inside. He walked over to me and threw an arm around me. He scratched the back of his head warily.

"Where do you think?"

"Oh dear," Esme exclaimed full of comprehension. All of us knew what that meant, and we hadn't had but the thought or we heard the first notes of music drift up from the basement level. Edward was composing again. "You won't be meeting him today my dear. Once he starts composing there's no stopping him," Esme tried to make it sound playful, though we all knew she was miffed that he hadn't first come up to introduce himself to Bella. After all, where were his manners?

---

_(Jasper POV)_

"How old are you Bella?" I asked her while she was looking around her new studio. Alice had really made it one of her pet projects, not just to make sure Bella had everything she needed, but so that she felt at ease surrounded by so many different personalities as well. She'd cleared one of the spare rooms we kept for storage and turned it into a professional painter's studio; probably more stocked than Bella's apartment in Phoenix.

"I was turned when I was eighteen," she said, clearly discomforted by talking about this. But Alice had given me pain when she found out I hadn't talked to her at all on our drive here. In all honesty, I really didn't think she'd want to talk to me, she had been far too discomforted for that. So I had only tried to make her feel at ease. "That was five years ago."

Her words shook me out of my thoughts. "Five years?" I asked curiously. Five years? And she'd been painting for quite a few years of those, otherwise Carlisle and Esme wouldn't have gone out of their way to meet her, or to get her here. None of it seemed to rhyme with her statement.

"Does that surprise you?" she turned to me when the urgency in my voice hit her. I could imagine that my facial expression confused the hell out of her.

"You just seem very _calm_," I stated, and she remained just that. Confusion was riddled all over her face. I got the distinct impression that she hadn't been around too many vampires before.

"Is there any reason for me not to be?" she remained pinned in place, and she started picking at her nails. I was making her feel uncomfortable again; but I could easily fix that.

"Jasper's been around a lot of newborns," Carlisle joined us in the room, and Bella immediately felt more comfortable around him. I already knew she would be accustomed to most of us soon; Alice had told me. "He has a lot of experience with them," he said. Bella looked at me again, at the scars that ran over my face. I didn't call her on it.

"Newborns?" Bella shook her head in question.

"The term we use for vampires who have just been turned," Carlisle explained, which I was grateful for. I wasn't that much of a talker anyway. "They're unpredictable. They're lethal, ruled only by their instincts."

"_All _newborns?" Bella asked, still confused. It became clear that she couldn't rhyme the definition to her own personal experience.

"I've never met an exception. Until now," I said. She didn't take her eyes off me for a single second; she knew I was talking about her. "Is it safe to assume you've been able to hold this control since you turned?"

---

_(Bella POV)_

"I uhm..." I averted my eyes, even though I had told myself I wouldn't. Jasper was very intimidating to be around, he almost seemed to be able to read my mind. He backed off when I wanted him to: in the car he hadn't talked to me; it was almost as if he knew I was uncomfortable. What I wouldn't give to not talk about _this_ right now. "After I turned I woke up in a hospital. I didn't understand why the monitors were telling me that I was dead. When the nurses came in I... Well, I wasn't so calm."

"I'm sorry Bella," Carlisle set, his voice instantly soothing. "We didn't mean for you to have to remember that," it sounded funny to me, because he had no idea exactly _what_ I was remembering. Maybe his turning had been traumatic as well. "You obviously have some control over yourself in a way that others don't."

"Yeah, but uhm, speaking of control?" I said, maybe only to find an escape out of this conversation. But no sooner had I spoken the worst, or my throat started burning.

"Of course, you must be thirsty," he gave a half-smile, but he held back. I guessed he did it for Jasper. If he really was a doctor, it seemed he had no problems with being around blood. It probably wasn't the same for the others. "Follow me."

I followed him into the kitchen. I wondered why they had even bothered having it installed. I can't imagine them entertaining much. "Everything you need is in here," he directed me to the fridge, an entire rack reserved for blood supplies. I didn't know why, but them facilitating me like this made me feel guilty. Especially if they didn't drink it themselves.

Carlisle grabbed one of the bags, and a mug from an overhead cupboard. "If you need to heat it, feel free to use the microwave, we don't have much use for it. And there's some salt there," he pointed towards the kitchen counter, a small tray of spices and herbs arranged in a circular pattern.

"Salt?" I asked. What would I need salt for? I watched Carlisle open the bag, careful not to spill anything, and poor it into the mug for me. Definitely feeling guilty there. He didn't pull a muscle though. How could he possibly smell that and not want to chuck it down himself? I made a mental note to ask him about that later.

"Because of the Heparin. It's an anticoagulant," he looked up at me apologetically, as if he should have known himself that I wouldn't know what it was. Strange, I thought, this compassion he seems to show everyone around him. "I'm told it gives off a strange taste. The salt should help with that."


	4. Rosalie & Emmett

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**Chapter 4: ROSALIE & EMMETT**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When he eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Rosalie/Emmett, Edward, Alice

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to my readers and the reviews you've have been leaving! it's always great to get feedback on a story, especially one as dear to me as this one. Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. Also, I swear to God that Edward and Bella will meet in this fic, just hang in there. When they do, real sparks might just fly!

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_(Edward POV)_

I had already made up my mind before ever meeting her. Just hearing that she would be coming to Forks to paint us, specifically to paint my family and the couples therein, didn't sit well with me. Esme had noticed my frustration from the start, leave it to my mother to realise. Luckily Emmett gave me the perfect excuse to leave the house; hunting, but really we were escaping before Alice could blackmail us into decorating with her.

I didn't take much pride in feeling this way; in fact I would give almost anything not to feel this way towards Isabella Swan. I wanted to act like the gentlemen my mother knew I was, but somehow, this entire thing reminded me of the time Rosalie had joined our family. Deep down, almost guiltily so, Carlisle had hoped I would find in her the companion he had found Esme to be. No such luck. I couldn't deny my sister's beauty, but I couldn't have feelings towards her that even closely began to match the intensity of love Carlisle and Esme showed each other. Or that Rosalie and Emmett now showed each other.

I know that first and foremost, Isabella, _Bella_, would be here to make Esme happy, a thing my father revelled in doing. It was Alice that made me think there were ulterior motives. She was too excited about Bella coming to stay with us. She _knew_ something, but had already grown accustomed to hiding certain things from me in her mind. Or maybe she merely hoped, because I didn't feel like I had made any decision towards getting to know Bella Swan. And Bella didn't know me at all.

I didn't appease anyone when Emmett and I returned from our hunt; I went straight for my piano, my mind swirling with ideas for new melodies and compositions. It was also the perfect distraction from any stray thoughts; like Alice's pleas to go and introduce myself.

_You do realise that if I paint your family, I could never do their beauty any justice?_ I heard her say upstairs. I smiled to myself; Rosalie definitely got a kick out of that. I didn't hear any of Bella's thoughts accompanying the statement, so I guessed she truly meant it. But then, I wasn't paying all that much attention.

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_(Bella POV)_

I wasn't used to being around this many people. The Cullens were incredibly nice, but I think they underestimated my ability to interact with others of our kind, or to interact with anyone for that matter. Their voices drifted up the stairs, through cracks in the walls; they were everywhere. I wasn't entirely sure I could even do my work like this.

But Edward's playing, his continuous composing, that's a thing I didn't think I could live without anymore. He was the true virtuoso. His music made me sad, but in a good way. It was laced with sorrow, a longing for a different time, a different life, or maybe, just maybe, a different fate. His music became my soundtrack, never flitting, never leaving, accompanying my every thought.

Back in Phoenix I had a studio far from the city centre, located in an abandoned industrial complex; Lauren's idea. She figured that I'd need calm and quiet, and it turned out to be the best choice for me. I don't know where I'd be if it hadn't been for Lauren. Probably much closer to the kind of vampires the Cullens avoided.

I knew Rosalie and Emmett would be the first to get their portraits painted, and in all honesty, I had absolutely no idea how I would pull it off. Painting humans was one thing, though with a vampire eye for detail that was still challenging enough. But paint vampires? Especially one as beautiful as Rosalie. Our kind didn't have any flaws in their skins, any scars that told me a story I could incorporate in my work.

I liked to work with background stories, whether they were true or what I imagined them to be. But this family, so much history behind them and such a big future ahead of them, how could I ever translate that onto a canvas? I would have to get to know them to do them any justice, or to make sure I wasn't a complete disappointment to Esme.

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_(Emmett POV)_

She was really something, this _Isabella Swan_. Esme had informed me that she seemingly preferred Bella, but I think I'll still call her Isabella. It had a nice ring to it. Rose took a liking to her, especially once she'd said how beautiful she looked. Yes, Rose had taken that as a personal statement about her. Alice didn't need to be impressed; she already was. No matter what Esme and Carlisle had told her about us, Isabella would be in no way prepared for Alice; she tended to have that effect on people.

Isabella had informed us that she wouldn't be taking up too much of our time; she'd make an initial sketch, that would undoubtedly be closer to a real drawing than what humans understood under the word 'sketch'. Her memory would fill in the rest. Apparently that's how she rolled; couldn't really object to any of that.

"So Emmett," she addressed me; it had become clear that she found Rose a little intimidating. "How did you and Rosalie meet?" she looked at me, her eyes only just reaching over the canvas she was standing behind. She seemed like a frail little thing; if she had been human, I'm almost sure she would have been clumsy.

"She saved me from a grizzly bear," I grinned, and then looked down at my Rose; I found her smiling back up at me. "Quite a foxy lady, my Rose." I looked back at Isabella and found her staring at us curiously; I'm not sure I knew a word to describe the sentiment in her eyes.

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_(Edward POV)_

_Love. They know love._ The thought echoed in my head loud and clear. Bella's. She was questioning our kind's ability to love? Maybe Jasper was right about her not having been in the best of company these past five years. Of course Rosalie and Emmett were in love, anyone could get that from looking at them when they were busy gazing into each other's eyes. I envied them for that, just as I envied the rest of my family for that. Maybe Bella did as well.

"Is your brother always this sad?" I heard her ask out loud, and I stopped my playing abruptly. She shifted her weight, probably realising that I was listening in on their conversation now. I put a hand on the piano keys, and played another old tune I had memorized, hoping it would convince her that it was okay with me for her to ask.

"Sad?" Rosalie asked, obviously confused. I watched Bella through Rosalie's eyes, then shifted to Emmett's, but neither of them had a very good view; Bella was mostly hiding behind the canvas. I only caught sight of her eyes, crimson red.

"Yes," Bella said, "His music. It's sad."

_She's got you all figured out little brother._ I caught Alice thinking. I sneered at her before I realised that Bella could interpret it as directed towards her. That definitely wasn't my intention, because she was right. My music was sad because I was sad. I could only create what I knew, and I'm guessing she knew what that felt like. After all, she was an artist as well.

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**_comments and reviews are like cherry pie :D_**


	5. Alice & Jasper

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**Chapter Five: ALICE & JASPER**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Alice/Jasper, Edward, Esme (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to my readers and the reviews you've have been leaving! It's always great to get feedback on a story, especially one as dear to me as this one. Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. Still promising you Edward/Bella, about two chapters from now! Anyone who has been wondering: yes, Bella _is_ a shield, but it works differently.

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_(Edward POV)_

"She questioned our ability to love," I told Esme. We were walking home from a hunt, at human pace, because I felt like this was something I could only discuss with my mother. She would understand better than anyone else in my family. "She looked at Rosalie and Emmett and she couldn't believe her own eyes."

"Can you blame her Edward?" Esme gave me a reassuring smile as we walked slowly through the green forest. "It's true we know nothing of her past, but it's clear to all of us that she has had little companionship since she was turned." These were things that I had already noticed myself, but I suspected more. We all suspected more. Bella was too evasive about her past.

Of all the things I hated of my own existence as a vampire, and no matter how much I envied my own family members for their feelings, I never once doubted my _ability_ to love. Just because I hadn't found that in a companion yet, didn't mean I despaired and thought I'd never find it.

I felt Esme's eyes resting on me, but I didn't meet her gaze. "You've taken a liking to her," Esme said, but I don't know if it was meant as a statement, or a question. I also didn't know if it was true, or a question I had yet to answer. One thing was true: Bella Swan had peeked my interest in a way not many things had done before in my ninety odd years.

Bella had just started sketching Jasper and Alice when I returned to my piano. I focused on Bella's mind specifically for the first time since she'd arrived. I heard her put a piece of charcoal to the sheet of paper, drawing preliminary lines. Strange how I was able to see what she was sketching, what she was clearly focusing on, but I couldn't hear any of her thoughts. Was she that focused? Or was it something else about her entirely?

_Curious, isn't she little brother?_ I caught one of Alice's thoughts. I had long since realised that Alice was keeping something from me, and she was getting way too good at disguising her real thoughts. I watched her gloating and smiling through Bella's eyes. Jasper's thoughts were much in line with my own; he was thinking either Bella had lied about her age, which seemed odd, or there was something different about her neither of us had come across in our many years. I was inclined to think the latter.

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_(Alice POV)_

"Alice, could you just..." Bella said, and I saw her pointing towards Jasper, her finger making an imaginary curve in the air.

"Oh sure," I noticed how a defiant lock of Jasper's hair had fallen over his forehead again. I pushed it back, and kissed the tip of his nose. He smiled at me; the kind he reserved only for me. It made me feel tingly inside. "You're right, it definitely looks better," I held Jasper's gaze for a few moments.

"I don't know much, but I do know a thing or two about composition," Bella focused on her sketching pad again. Something told me all of us being familiar and lovey-dovey around each other made her feel... well, _uncomfortable_ wasn't exactly the word.

"_Deprived,"_ Edward whispered, though I heard it loud and clear. Bella probably heard it too, but I'm guessing she chose to ignore. She didn't know that Edward could read my mind. Deprived? Really? _Interesting_. I knew that Edward probably wanted to comment on that one, but he kept his curiosity to himself. He'd know soon enough.

I thought about how I should really sketch Bella some time. Actually, I already knew that I would. She'd tell me I gave her too much credit, even though I knew I'd only sketched what I saw. She would really have to learn to come to terms with my truth soon. "I wouldn't worry Bella, your paintings will be absolutely gorgeous," I gushed, down-toning my actual opinion. "Everyone will love them. Esme might never let you leave again."

"What do you mean?" Bella eyed me suspiciously.

"Alice..." Jasper warned.

"Oh don't worry Jasper," I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "She won't tell anyone." It was sweet of him to worry about me, but really, what could Bella possibly do? Tell all the friends she doesn't have? I smiled at Bella, "I can see the future."

"The..." her eyes went wide as she stared at me. She was at a loss for words. "What? The future?" she stuttered. In her amazement, she stopped sketching.

"It's pretty abstract of course, and I don't see just anything," I explained. I put my hand on Jasper's chest now; he was all tense. I thought it was absolutely adorable for him to worry, and with any other five-year old vampire he would probably be right. But Bella was different, special. "I have to focus, and be in tune with the person I'm envisioning."

"Can you see _mine_?" she kept her position behind the canvas, but she didn't go back to her sketching. Agreed, finding out that someone can see the future would probably have me stumped as well.

"Oh no, that'll probably take some more time," I waved a hand to dismiss it. It really wasn't a big deal. It's not like I told the rest of my family about every detail I saw in my visions. Sometimes it was best to keep certain things for myself. It was definitely more fun that way. "But I did know you would come because I was looking in on Esme and Carlisle."

"Is that how you knew to set up my studio?" Bella asked. I had to give her this; she was extremely perceptive. She'd have all of us figured out in no time. I couldn't help but marvel at the thought. I tried to contain my excitement though.

"Yes, from the moment you decided you were coming. But only _once_ you decided. Indecision makes it all such a blur," I further explained, and felt how Jasper relaxed a little next to me. Bella only seemed to be getting more distracted. "You seem confused?" I asked.

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_(Bella POV)_

"I just never... _thought_ things like that were possible," I stammered, still not sure whether my ears had been deceiving me or not. She can see the future? How? But then I guess it's not a long stretch from vampire to visions of the future. "It's just you?" I asked, not sure why, but I was pretty sure no one felt truly at ease when someone told them they could see their future.

"Yes," she nodded, and smiled. Alice was extremely nice, just like Esme. She just always gave me the impression that I was somehow a part of this family. "But Edward, he can read minds," she blurted out. Another smiled followed, a mischievous one at that. What was she up to?

"Read minds?" I asked, my eyes probably still wide with disbelief. Realisation dawned on me. "Oh my God, are you the one he talks to sometimes? I thought he was talking to himself," I shook my head, trying to rearrange my thoughts. This was a lot of information to process all at once. "Reading minds. _Wow_. And Jasper," I looked at him, making assumptions now. I was feeling bold. "You can... I'm not sure about this, but you have a very soothing effect on people."

"_Perceptive, isn't she?"_ I heard Edward say, but I knew his words were directed at Alice.

I chuckled, and I heard the sound of a smile in Edward's voice as well. He never once stopped his playing.

"_I'm impressed,"_ he said, but I wasn't too sure who he was talking to now. It wasn't all that impressive to me. Whenever Jasper was around I felt strangely at ease, the moment he was away, my discomfort returned little by little. I just made the connection.

"It makes me feel guilty though," I cast down my eyes. I knew that I would probably never get used to talking about this. Jasper tensed up again. I hated how that was my doing. "Here you are putting effort in putting me at ease, while what I do... I mean, it can't be easy for you to know that I drink, _you know_..." Damn, why couldn't I talk about this the way they could? Or any other vampire for that matter.

"Having you here makes Esme happy," Alice said, Jasper nodding to show that he agreed wholeheartedly. "We're willing to tough things out. And not Carlisle nor Esme would have asked you to come here if they didn't think you were curious about our lifestyle," her smile was infectious. She was easily the most likeable person I had ever met, even though for me that didn't immediately mean much.

"I thought you said you couldn't see my future?" I raised an eyebrow. Had I given any of them an indication? I was of course wildly fascinated by their lifestyle. What if I could adopt it? Only live on the blood of animals. That could take so much weight off of my shoulders.

"_I think you just confirmed her suspicions,"_ Edward said. I laughed, realising that I had.

"Ooh Bella you _have_ to try!" Alice skipped over to me excitedly. Luckily my sketch was almost finished. Though I could probably draw her out of memory now. "Carlisle and Esme would be absolutely _thrilled_, and we'd be such great friends you and I," she grabbed my arm. _Right_. One thing about Alice I was yet to get used to. No regard for someone's personal space. "We'd all be here for you, to help you and offer you advice. Even Edward."

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_(Edward POV)_

_Even Edward?_ I caught another one of Bella's thoughts. I briefly wondered why that sounded so strange to her. I then realised I had in no way given her any reason to like me, or given her any indication that _I_ liked her; which I'm pretty sure I now did. Esme had been right, the way only a mother could have.

"Yes, even me," I said. Strange how I never got more out of her mind but a few words. Was I really paying that little attention?

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**comments are my cherry-pie XD**

next chapter: Carlisle & Esme


	6. Esme & Carlisle

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**Chapter Six: ESME & CARLISLE  
**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Alice, Rosalie, Edward, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to my readers and the reviews you've have been leaving! It's always great to get feedback on a story, especially one as dear to me as this one. Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. Anyone who has been wondering: yes, Bella _is_ a shield, but it works differently. And yes yes, new chapter is the moment you've all been waiting for.

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_(Esme POV)_

Edward's music changed in the course of a few days. The usual tone of melancholy was replaced by a melody of hope, a new song, filled with a joy that echoed through the house. I hadn't heard him play anything like this in such a long time. To my surprise even Bella started humming along with the new notes quickly. She was revealing more and more of herself to us and the more that I found, the stronger my desire grew to have her around permanently.

I marvelled at the thought of her appreciating his music as much as I did. The way to Edward's heart would never be physical beauty, as some might have once hoped, no, it was a mutual understanding of things, one not found too often in two people at the same time. Maybe Bella could be his reason for being. Though of course there was no denying Bella's beauty either.

It was Carlisle's and my turn to get our portraits painted, though I was told by my other children that we wouldn't get to witness the actual painting. I felt like they all had taken a liking to Bella. At the very start all of them had been sceptical about the shy girl, even Carlisle, because she was so different from all of us. But now that they knew her, it seemed like she was already part of the family.

Emmett never relented from calling her Isabella, a little something Bella tolerated only from him. It was the least she could do after defeating him at chess without Edward's or Alice's help. Jasper and Bella didn't speak much, but I believed the two of them lived in harmony with each other because of his gift, and because little by little Jasper no longer saw the need to use it on her. Bella was becoming much more at ease in our home.

Our art collection was fascinating to her; despite her being an artist herself, she knew little of the world of painting. Carlisle and I happily shared our knowledge. Rosalie and Alice showed her parts of the house whenever she needed another distraction from her painting, guiding her through Carlisle's office, telling them stories of his past in England and Italy. The idea of the Volturi made her shudder, but she never spoke about her fears. Maybe only time could manage that.

"You really have to let me take you shopping sometime Bella," Alice and Rosalie led Bella into her studio, where Carlisle and I were already waiting for her. She caught our eye, but looked away shyly. "I could get you an entirely new wardrobe. Or Rose and I could design it!" a new idea struck my daughter, and she was undoubtedly already making plans.

"Oh Alice, I can't ask you to do that," Bella said, but smiled along with her words. "You've already gotten me this beautiful studio. Anything more would be..."

"Nonsense!" Alice waved her hand to dismiss the mere suggestion that Bella would be taking advantage of our hospitality. She'd definitely have to get used to getting doted upon. "I'll get working on that right away," she was already backing out of the room, leaving Bella no room to protest. "Rose," she called, and Rosalie followed her sister out the room, winking at me conspiratorially.

Bella was silent as she picked out her pencils, glancing over at us from time to time, maybe to determine what tools to use. I understood Bella's need for privacy, time to properly compose a scene of her own. Yet another thought I marvelled in, Bella painting our family, brush-stroke by brush-stroke. Perhaps a family she would soon find herself joining.

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_(Edward POV)_

Esme dreamed about Bella joining our family? A idea struck me then that I feel I should have had many days before, perhaps from the moment Bella had arrived. Was this the future Alice saw? Was Bella's desire to live our lifestyle so strong that the mere suggestion had already sealed her fate with us? I had to admit, the thought wasn't entirely unappealing; and Alice would get a kick going through Bella's wardrobe. But then, so would Rosalie.

_Edward?_ Bella's mind called out to me. I thought it strange, because she had stayed away from thinking about me since she became aware of my mind-reading skills. Not that I ever got all that much from her either way.

"Yes?" I asked, and wondered what she could possibly need me for. I continued to play the new tune that had been swirling in my thoughts for a few days now and I tested it out again. I added a harmonizing line, but stuck to the central melody. I wasn't sure if it was right just yet.

_Something's off about that tune_, Bella thought, _maybe try something like this_. She hummed the tune back to me, the same, but slightly different, raised to another level. It was better. I smiled and implemented the change, instantly feeling that I had the melody right. Perfect.

"Thank you, Bella," I said, and smiled again. See, I could be a gentleman.

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_(Carlisle POV)_

"You know music?" I asked Bella curiously. I was sure Esme was just as amazed as I was when it was Bella, and not Alice who'd earned Edward's thanks. This girl was definitely gifted. There weren't many people that knew music better than Edward; so far the only person to do that had been Alice. Maybe my son had met his match.

"I wouldn't say that," Bella shook her head and shrugged. "But the first years after my turning I tried anything to keep me distracted from... you know." She still couldn't say it. She felt ashamed about drinking human blood, though I wasn't sure that discomfort would go away if she ever turned to our way of living. "I tried music, but it didn't turn out to be for me."

"So you turned to art?" Esme inquired.

"I'd done some artwork before becoming a vampire, but it was never quite what I was looking for," she talked as she sketched out our silhouettes. "I threw out the first thing I ever painted as a vampire too," she looked confused when she said it. "You remember the painting in my apartment?" she looked up from her work, straight at us.

I did remember the painting. It was a young child, reaching for something or someone just out of the frame's reach. I'd wondered what the story behind that one was. "You threw it out?" Esme asked confused. Neither of us could believe she could just throw out such a work of art.

"It would have stayed there if it hadn't been for Lauren," she smiled to herself, undoubtedly remembering something vividly, the way only a vampire could. "She knocked on my door with the painting in her arms, telling me it was absolutely brilliant." She crinkled her nose then. "I might have killed her, if she hadn't smelled of garbage. We made up very clear proximity rules after that."

I wanted to ask if Lauren had ever questioned that, but realised the idea of a recluse artist had been the stuff of fiction since long.

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_(Bella POV)_

"The girl in your painting," Carlisle said. Oh dear, why had I said anything at all? It was one thing to share the more pleasant memories of my short existence as a vampire. It was another to dwell on subjects I felt touchy about. "Who is she?"

"I don't know," I answered. Yes Bella, who _was_ she? The child in my would-be dreams, the girl in my imagined nightmares, both baby and young child. Who was she? "She's a human memory. It could be _me_, I suppose. But she's so blurred that she was probably just a dream."

"Yet you painted her with such detail," Esme wondered, just like I had wondered a thousand times. She was blurred in my memory, yes, but never in my drawings, or my paintings. "You are truly gifted my child." When she called me that, her _child_, it send a shiver up my spine I couldn't find myself objecting to. I liked it.

I shook the thought away as soon as it had occurred. "You know, I was thinking," I said, and heard a chuckle coming from the basement level. I wondered why that was funny to him. "Since Edward doesn't want to be alone on a painting, and you still really want me to paint him..." my voice trailed off. Edward stopped his playing.

"Are you offering to..." Esme's eyes went wide, but with an anticipation I had to question. Had she been hoping I was offering to pose with Edward? Where did that come from?

"Oh! No!" I exclaimed, and put out a hand apologetically, "I was just thinking I could paint him while he was playing the piano. To be honest, it's the one thing I'm pretty sure you might actually like," I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking. "Since it's his passion and all." Not to mention that I was absolutely ready to meet him in person. This whole phantom of the opera routine he had going on had made me unbelievably curious about him.

Edward stayed silent.

"Edward that's brilliant!" Alice shouted, for the whole house to hear. She had no doubt already seen the finished result in her head. I briefly thought about what he would look like, whether the passion in his music would shine through in his eyes as well. I already knew that just like the rest of his family, he would be absolutely beautiful.

"Or I could always come back in a few years time, when..." _he has a companion for me to paint_. I couldn't finish the actual statement out loud. Edward had undoubtedly heard my hesitation. I heard both Emmett and Rosalie chuckle.

Edward stayed silent for a moment longer, maybe listening to my thoughts. He put his fingers to the keys of his piano, and started playing my tune again. "Okay," he said, and it was almost like the entire house released a sigh of relief.

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**comments are my cherry-pie XD  
**

next chapter: The Hunt


	7. The Hunt

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**Chapter Seven: THE HUNT  
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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Edward, Alice/Jasper, Rosalie/Emmett, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Moment you've all been waiting for (I hope)! Shout out to all you lovely people that left me reviews/comments, they keep me going! I hope I was able to answer some of the questions you asked me. If I didn't that's because they will be answered in chapters to come. Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. Anyone who has been wondering: yes, Bella _is_ a shield, but it works differently.

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_(Bella POV)_

I was thirsty. I was pretty sure I had never been this thirsty in my entire life. It'd been a week since I'd fed off the blood Carlisle kept in the kitchen for me. I had my reasons. First of all, I no longer wanted to do that in the house. I knew I didn't need to prove myself to the Cullens, and I'm pretty sure they didn't expect me to, but I couldn't bring myself to go down there again. I'd resisted the temptation, drowning myself in my work. But now, I was just so damn _thirsty_, I was sure my eyes didn't show a single trace of red in them anymore.

Second, just the idea of another way of feeding made the weight on my shoulders feel lighter. I already knew they wanted me to stay, to try and adjust to their way of living. The thought of becoming a true part of this family had been on my mind almost constantly now. I consciously decided right there, that I would try to commit to the Cullens' lifestyle.

"Oh!" I heard Alice exclaim in a matter of minutes, no doubt sneaking a peek at my future, one I'd asked her to stay away from. "Get ready boys," she said, Emmett and Jasper immediately attentive. "We're going hunting," I let out a loud chuckle, quickly followed by Edward's and Esme's. Yes, I definitely liked feeling a part of this family.

Alice, Jasper and Emmett ended up accompanying me. Emmett because he was sure I would make a complete mess of things and make a face, Jasper because he wanted to make sure I didn't lose control and go for a human scent. Alice was the only one who was there only to support me. I knew that even if something did go wrong, she'd be the first one to cheer me on and tell me to try again.

"_Good hunting,"_ Edward told me, before I ran into the woods, following Emmett's lead. Alice and Jasper stayed behind me. I mentally thanked Edward; it seemed he had just as much faith in me as the rest of his family. Strange, because he knew me least of all. Or so I liked to think.

We made our way through the forest quickly, halting at a little stream where a herd of elk were drinking. Alice looked at me expectantly. I tilted my head curiously; the smell wasn't as completely unappealing as I thought it would be, but maybe that was because I had been preparing for this for a while now. I lowered myself into my hunting crouch, but was careful not to make too much noise; I didn't want to scare away my dinner.

I lunged for the animal that was closest; I needed to feed badly. I made a soundless landing, forcing the animal down. It wasn't much of a struggle. I bit down in its neck as soon as I found a vein. Just like with humans, it was like biting through butter. I heard Jasper's feet hit the ground behind me; I expected as much. He wouldn't let me out of his sight for the entire time we were outside of the house.

"Wow Bella," Emmett said, and I was surprised to hear him call me that, "You're a natural at this!" he laughed a bellowing laugh, probably scaring away animals for miles around. I was glad he found me so amusing. The blood tasted different than human blood, but I could tell it was enough to sustain me. Human blood would always be a temptation for all of us, but this was an alternative with far less repercussions. One I could happily live with.

I stood up and looked at myself, my clothes mostly dirty from the grass I'd been crouching in. I didn't spill any blood. I had to admit, I was quite proud of myself. I felt strangely satisfied; I did it. I showed the Cullens that I could change. I tried to imagine Esme's proud eyes, but fell short for the first time in a long time; I didn't know how to picture a mother's pride anymore. I smiled at the thought of Esme as my mother.

I turned around, and saw Alice nudge Emmett with her elbow. "She'll be downing grizzlies with you before you know it," she winked at her brother and then looked at me. "Congratulations Bella Swan," she smiled and walked over to me, taking my hands in hers. "You are officially part of this family," she giggled and glanced at Jasper over my shoulder.

"Let's go home," he said. He put a hand on my shoulder, an entirely new thing for me; it was his way of welcoming me as well, I guessed. My heart felt like it was blossoming inside my chest.

We ran back to the house, where the rest of my new family would undoubtedly be waiting for me. I didn't notice that Jasper and the others fell behind once I arrived at the house. I was too preoccupied searching for Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie behind the glass wall. It surprised me that instead of seeing three people waiting to welcome me, there were four.

"Edward," I gasped, even though I'd intended it to be a mere thought. He chuckled, but didn't answer me directly. I entered the house silently, not knowing exactly how to behave myself around him. It's one thing to communicate across the house without seeing each other, it's another to be faced with what could easily be described as the most attractive man I had ever seen.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten the chance to introduce myself," he said, a soothing undertone in his voice that reached out and touched me. To my utter surprise and disbelief, he took my hand and softly planted a kiss on my skin. It was like getting struck by electricity; I just didn't feel the urge to pull away. "I'm Edward Cullen," he straightened himself out and looked me in the eyes. "It's nice to finally meet you Bella."

For a moment, I thought I had lost all ability to speak. His eyes were the exact same colour as the other Cullens, and Carlisle's eyes showed much more history, but Edward's showed a dimension I was sure I had never seen before. There was passion and knowledge, and a softness I wasn't quite sure could be defined. I could have drowned in his eyes. "It's nice to meet you too," I willed the words out. He didn't let go of my hand.

I was very much aware of the six pairs of eyes directed at us.

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_(Edward POV)_

Esme and Carlisle had been surprised when I had risen from behind my piano to welcome Bella. We'd all heard Emmett laughing in the forest though, and assumed the reason behind his amusement was Bella. My curiosity reached its limit; I could no longer remain in place. I needed to meet her.

So I'd strutted upstairs and waited for Bella and the others to return. Esme was filled with joy, her thoughts fully focused on Bella and how proud she already was of her. Naturally, Carlisle's thoughts matched Esme's. Rosalie merely stood waiting, granted somewhat impatient to see Bella as well. Anything that had Emmett bellowing like that was worth seeing. Maybe she regretted not having been there; I knew I did.

I'd watched how Bella gracefully landed on the ground after she'd jumped over the river running behind the house. I never once lost sight of her. She was an elegant creature. I heard her gasp my name when she realised I had joined the others, and I chuckled; if my mere presence could elicit that kind of reaction, I was curious to see what else she would respond to.

_Oh my._ Esme thought when she heard my reaction, momentarily distracted from Bella. _He really does like her_. I didn't react.

I watched how the others fell behind on Alice's cue. I felt Alice's eyes resting on me for a while, but I never once took my eyes of Bella. Alice definitely knew something. She would really have to tell me about that some time. I introduced myself to Bella the way I would to anyone, but ended up kissing her hand after giving it a second thought. Not one thought crossed her mind that I could hear. I found it extremely frustrating.

_She's bringing him to life._ Esme marvelled. Her eyes didn't leave me and Bella. I knew that by now my entire family was staring at the both of us, at how we were gazing into each other's eyes.

_Who could have guessed?_ Carlisle thought amusedly. And indeed, who _could_ have guessed?

Looking at Bella was like drowning and flying at the same time. I had no good words for it.

I had seen Bella enough times through my family's eyes by now to know that she was utterly beautiful, but it wasn't until I looked into her eyes for real that I felt like gasping her name myself. They were still red, but I knew that would disappear over time. She smelled sweet, with a hint of fresh morning dew. I felt like somewhere, somehow, I had come home.

"You must think me very rude," I said, her eyes still trained on me. I was glad I could still say anything at all. I realised I was still holding her hand. "Having kept you waiting for so long."

When I spoke the words though, I felt like she had kept me waiting for the past ninety years.

_Not at all_ she merely thought in response, and smiled. Her hand slipped from mine, but her eyes didn't leave mine.

Before I knew it Esme had her arms around Bella. Her motherly joy was visible throughout her entire composure, airing contentment, relish and relief. Emmett threw his big arms around both Esme and Bella at the same time, almost lifting them up from the ground. I laughed aloud for the first time in a long time. Rosalie and Carlisle followed Esme's example, welcoming Bella into our family.

_So, what do you think little brother?_ I found Alice asking me. Jasper followed her gaze towards me, and he smiled. He was in on it as well. Was I the only one that hadn't thought this possible immediately? I definitely felt some kind of connection with Bella. How could I have been so blind? So stupid? Allowing for my prejudice to come in between me and what was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes upon.

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**comments are my cherry-pie!  
**

next chapter: Baseball


	8. Baseball

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**Chapter Eight: BASEBALL  
**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Edward, Alice/Jasper, Rosalie/Emmett, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Transition chapter before Edward and Bella really get to know each other (otherwise known as my excuse to write a lighter fluffy chapter with the other Cullens present - they are made of love you know). Thank you to everyone who has been leaving me comments, questions/reviews/comments are always welcome and I try to reply to most of them (sorry if there are exceptions, I'm currently studying for my exams). Special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**

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_(Bella POV)_

With all the time I had spend between painting and getting to know the Cullens, I hadn't noticed much of the weather in Forks. I knew that it would be wet and cloudy, which, of course, was a good thing for our kind. Right now there was a thunder storm coming in; we could all hear it from afar. For some reason though, this made the Cullens absolutely excited. Especially Emmett.

I was up in my studio, painting, when Alice danced into the room, carrying a bundle of clothes. On top of the bundle there was a baseball cap, adorned with a capital **C**. I looked up at Alice questioningly, but she only smiled back at me. "You'll see," she shrugged, and walked gallantly back out of the room. I stared after her for a while, thinking things over, but I had no idea what was going on. We were going to play baseball?

Still, something in me felt daring. Call it the _Alice_-effect, or maybe the _Cullen_-effect. They were my family now, I shouldn't feel embarrassed or uneasy among them anymore. I was like them now, no longer the monster I had always thought myself to be. I changed into my new outfit, and joined some of the Cullens in the living room, all dressed for the occasion themselves.

"Glad to see you join us Bella," Carlisle said, and smiled.

Esme walked into the room next to me and threw an arm around me. "First time in a long time we can have even teams," she smiled at me and then at Carlisle. My eyes looked for Edward's frightfully.

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_(Edward POV)_

_Edward?_ I heard Bella's voice in my mind before my eyes connected with hers. There was a playful fear in them. What could she possibly have to worry about? I looked at her in anticipation.

_I don't know how to play baseball. _

My reaction was immediate, but unintentional. Without thinking through Bella's need for me to be the only one to hear it, I broke out in a roar of laughter.

"It's not funny!" Bella exclaimed, taking a few steps towards me, probably feeling like sinking through the floor right about now.

"Dude, what's the matter with you?" Emmett asked, a pleased grin spreading across his face.

"I'd wipe that smile of your faces boys," Alice entered the room, happily skipping to the door, Jasper and the baseball gear in tow. "We'll be playing boys versus girls," she took a few confident and elegant steps towards me. "And I won't have you making fun of my new sister. You'll see she's quite the natural at it."

The images in Alice's head already told me it was true. Us _boys_ would be on the losing side today.

We all ran to the clearing in unison, Esme and Carlisle leading the way. Bella was sturdily giving me an even more silent treatment than usual, which I still found amusing for now. I went running next to her. "I'm sorry for laughing," I said, even though part of me really wasn't. Still, it was the polite thing to do. After all, she was now part of the family. "Let me make it up to you by teaching you how to bat?" I asked hopefully.

We arrived at the field then and came to a halt. Jasper tossed me a bat, but Bella grabbed it from my hands. "I think I'll take my chances with Rosalie for now," she smiled teasingly. Had she been any other person, my feelings would have been hurt. Now I only grinned in return.

"You're lucky I'm not a sore loser," I leaned in as I spoke the words, my hands behind my back. Bella continued to smile, and looked straight into my eyes. How badly I wanted to get her alone some time, to ask her about her thoughts.

"Let's see about that when we're whooping your butts," Rosalie walked over to us, and grabbed Bella by the arm, dragging her to the other side of the field. I let her go reluctantly.

"I'll try to go easy on you,"Bella said with a quirk of her mouth. Emmett snickered at the thought of the women defeating us. I already knew that if we wanted any chance at winning, we would have to up our game. Time to talk strategy with Carlisle, even though we knew he didn't like it when we cheated.

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_(Carlisle POV)_

We soon found out exactly what Bella meant by going easy on us. Unfortunately for us, she didn't try at all. She had us all stumped with her aptitude. She might not have known how to play baseball, but she was an extremely quick learner. Not to mention her insight in the game was instantly awe worthy.

Edward might have already seen the outcome in Alice's mind, but he wasn't going to give up just yet. We discussed strategy, even though with Alice's gift most of that was futile. Maybe a few last-minute decisions could save us.

Rosalie ended up showing Bella how to bat, while Alice and Esme explained the rules to her. Then it was time for the showdown. We never even stood a chance.

As a fairly newborn Bella was stronger than Emmett, batting the ball much further out than him. We didn't immediately think of a home-run, after all we had Edward on our side as well. But Bella was faster than Edward as well, much to everyone's surprise. Jasper and I saw the fun in all of it, Edward and Emmett only got more competitive. Normally that was Rosalie's forte.

When Bella hit her final home-run, sliding into the last and winning inning like a professional, her trousers grass-smeared, she remained laying on the floor, and like Edward had done before, let out a roar of laughter. She kicked her legs up in the air, absolutely marvelling in the sensation.

The entire family joined in on her laughter; it was infectious.

"Are you sure you've never played baseball before?" I asked her when we were headed back home, the boys behind us being their foolish selves. Emmett had already challenged Bella to an arm wrestling match. She had assured him he'd most likely lose. Everyone could now see how Bella was gaining more and more confidence, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"I know my dad Charlie used to watch a lot of baseball," Bella answered, and I found it curious to hear her talk about her past so candidly. It was never my intention to pry when I asked such questions, I was merely curious. "But no, I never played, or knew anything about it apart from it being the American pastime."

"Well, your game is very impressive," I complimented her. I waited for her to say anything more, but she remained silent. I decided to be bold myself. "If there's anything you want to talk about, anything at all, feel free to come to me Bella. You're part of our family now."

"Thanks," she smiled at me softly, and I was confident that if there was ever any problem she would indeed come to me.

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_to anyone who gets this far: i'm writing several chapters ahead on this one and i'm currently reaching the 'James' chapters. i'm working with flashbacks: are there any flashbacks anyone would **love** to see me write?_

next chapter: Edward


	9. Edward

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**Chapter Nine: EDWARD  
**

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**Summary:** Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Bella, Edward, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** You know the drill, comments/reviews make my day, thanks to everyone leaving them. Special thanks to my wonderful beta helaluvE. Anyone who has been wondering: yes, Bella _is_ a shield, but it works differently.

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_(Edward POV)_

It was nearly time for Bella to paint my portrait; Alice had in fact already informed me she'd have set up her equipment down in the basement by the time I got back from my hunt. Carlisle joined me at my own request; I needed to talk to him about something, and next to Jasper, whom Alice had claimed for the day, he was the only one I felt comfortable discussing this with.

I'd already talked to Jasper, asked him how he knew that Alice was the right one for him. He didn't speak of love immediately, there was just an instant connection neither of them could deny. They were companions, and somewhere along the line that feeling between them had grown into love. Still, Alice had known what they would become before even meeting Jasper. I wasn't sure if it was Jasper's judgement I should trust.

I refused to talk to Emmett. He could be serious, of that I was almost certain, but he'd most likely turn it into a joke and laugh at me. Which was fine on occasions. Right now however, I needed real advice.

"Did you know you would marry Esme before you turned her?" I asked Carlisle. He looked at me curiously, but didn't question it. Perhaps he had been preparing for this conversation for a while now; my fascination with Bella had become apparent to everyone.

"No," he said, his look pensive, "It's the same as human feelings. Friends, lovers, these things take time." He was very careful not to talk solely about love, though I was grateful for him mentioning it. I didn't know if what I felt for Bella could be labelled as love already, or at least not the kind my siblings felt for their significant others.

"Bella doesn't believe our kind can feel love," I stared out into the distance, refusing to meet Carlisle's gaze.

"I fear that has much to do with her past," Carlisle's voice was sad when he spoke the words, but hopeful. Just like everyone in the family, he had witnessed how Bella was changing. "But you must see how she's been growing. These past few days, she's blossoming." I had indeed seen it; I had marvelled at her fascination in the smallest things. It was as if for the first time in her vampire life, her eyes were truly open.

"I can't read her mind," I confessed to Carlisle, admitting it for the first time, though of course Alice knew all about it. Alice suspected maybe it was one of her gifts, blocking out outside influences. That didn't help me at all. "She's a complete mystery to me," I said, a smile in my voice despite the constant frustration.

"Which I believe is part of your fascination," Carlisle observed correctly.

When I asked Esme about it she already had her answered prepared for me: "Stop thinking about what your sister sees in her mind and follow your heart." I could always count on my mother to say the exact thing I needed to hear.

I didn't find Bella in her studio, as I had already suspected. I went down to the basement slowly, preparing myself to see her again through new-found eyes. I didn't see her when I walked into the room. I frowned, my mind reaching out for any thoughts, but naturally, I once again found myself surrounded by silence. How very frustrating. I had gotten used to knowing people's thoughts, perhaps too much so.

Bella was in the room though, I could hear the sound of her pretend breathing. How come I couldn't see her then? As far as I know, invisibility wasn't one of her gifts. I rounded the piano in the centre of the room and finally found her. I stared at her, my face still set in the same curious frown as before. She was laying back down on the bench in front of the piano. What was she doing? Sleeping?

"I'm not attempting sleep, if that's what you're wondering," she said calmly, and sat up as I took a step closer. Could she read _my_ mind now? "It's just something I do when I need to rearrange my thoughts," she shrugged, and looked up at me.

"Are you quite sure about that?" I asked, never once looking away from her mesmerizing eyes. She always used statements like '_I was thinking_' or something similar, but I never once found the actual thought to prove her right.

"You'd think I'd know that about myself," she frowned now herself, but playfully.

"I can't... read your mind," I said, and went to sit down next to her on the bench. She scooted over to give me room. "At least not..." I didn't know how I'd planned to finish my statement. At least not when I want to? When I need to? I knew I had no claim to her thoughts.

_Are you sure? _Her mouth didn't move, but I heard it like she spoke the words out loud. I became aware of my proximity to her, but she didn't seem to mind.

"How do you do that?" I tilted my head and stared at her even more curiously than before. This was absolutely fascinating, and so very annoying. How was she doing this? And how did she remain so calm under it?

"I'm not really doing anything," she looked away shyly, but smiling. "Whenever I want you to hear something, I'll let you hear it," she turned her head towards me and gazed into my eyes once more. "Other than that you really don't have any business inside my head." I had heard that tale many times before, but my other family members really had no defences against my gift.

"That is incredibly frustrating, you know that?"

"I am very sorry to have caused you pain," her voice changed, a British accent interlacing with her sweet tone of voice. "Believe me, it was unconsciously done." Her eyes told me she was merely joking. I remember it being anything _but_ in the book. At least her eyes offered me something to hold onto; I would know how to read them soon enough.

"_Pride & Prejudice_?" I guessed. I wondered if she was quoting this to me now for a reason, because for all intents and purposes, it was my prejudice towards her that had kept me away from her for so long. Right now, looking into her eyes, a mixture of golden-brown and a sluggish red, I couldn't think of any reason why.

Downstairs, I heard Esme and Alice's breathing stop.

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_(Bella POV)_

Again I felt like the entire house was listening in on our conversation, though there was really no reason to worry. Edward and I were getting along perfectly. Strange how I suddenly found myself flirting with the one Cullen who had avoided me for so long. I still wasn't able to look away from him, his eyes a pool of constant revelation to me.

He sat close to me on the bench, even though I had given him more than enough room when I moved aside for him. I didn't have much experience with wooing or flirting, but I was pretty sure he felt somewhat the same way towards me as I did towards him. There was just something about him I needed to know better.

Funny how it was my mind he had no insight in whatsoever.

He was amused by my _Pride and Prejudice_ reference, which was only meant as a joke. It was something that sprang to mind when he told me how frustrating it was he couldn't read my mind. The reference was spot-on though, and definitely got his attention. He turned his body towards the piano, and put his fingers loosely on the keys.

"I know you already consider this your tune," he didn't need to look at his fingers anymore when he played the first few notes of what I indeed now considered to be my tune, "But I wanted to let you know you inspired this one." I didn't know what to say to that. I knew the tune by heart now, and I was humming along in my head. To be honest, I was too lost in Edward's eyes to really hear it clearly now. "I called it _Bella's lullaby_," he added, his voice only just above a whisper, but I felt it caress my face.

I chuckled, "You do know I don't actually sleep, right?" though I absolutely adored the title.

"Something to accompany your non-thinking then," he grinned.

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**comments are my cherry-pie!  
**

next chapter: Spies in the House of Love


	10. Spies in the House of Love

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**Chapter Ten: SPIES IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE  
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**Summary:** Vampire Bella Swan is used to her life as a recluse artist. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and suddenly she finds herself with the possibility of breaking free from her guilty existence. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?

**Characters (this chapter):** Rosalie/Emmett, Alice/Jasper, Esme/Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**Warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**Author's Notes:** Okay now I just feel like I'm teasing you, because y'all just wanna read about Edward & Bella right? Sorry guys, next chapter, my love for the other Cullens is also insurmountable. Thank you for everyone reading/commenting/reviewing. Special thanks to my beta helaluvE, she does one hell of a job listening to my crazy ideas.

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_(Rosalie POV)_

I had never seen Edward like this. This _optimistic_. He'd never been depressed or anything worse than that, but just like me, he had always struggled with his existence as a vampire. Now it seemed like I was the only one. Because he'd never given up on hoping; he'd never once longed to go back, to be human again. Especially not now.

If I hadn't found Emmett when I did, I might have looked for ways to end my existence. It would have broken Esme's heart, but I wouldn't have flinched. Emmett gave me a reason to live, just like Bella was going to affirm Edward's hopes at a better life, a fuller life.

"He's no fun anymore Rose!" Emmett exclaimed. We'd been talking about Edward and Bella, just like the rest of the family had back at the house. Though admittedly, talking is not something we did often after making love. "All he does is sit in that basement. And now with Bella!" I smiled at his frustration. So typical of my Emmett to talk about his own fun, instead of his brother's happiness. I knew for a fact he _was_ happy for them.

"Emmett, darling," I sat up in his arms and looked at him. I put a hand on his bare chest. "They're both immortal. Give him some time. Once they know they're meant for each other, he'll be your brother again." This seemed to assure him, but only slightly. "He'll just be Bella's as well." But that was just something all of us would have to accept.

"Hmpff," he scowled, but tightened his grip around me. Deep down he really was happy for Edward. In fact, now that Edward had Bella, I could only imagine his spirit being heightened, which only bode well for the rest of us. It was about time he cheered up, after being on his own for so long.

"It's not like you pay Edward any attention when you're with me," I told him, suddenly wondering how Edward had endured it all these years to see his brothers and sisters, even Carlisle and Esme, being so happy, so in love. It was only right that he got some quality time with Bella. Something told me she wouldn't be complaining either.

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_(Jasper POV)_

"What are you thinking?" I whispered into Alice's ear. She was laying with her back against my chest. I had been pretending to watch TV, while really I was listening in on Edward and Bella like the rest of the house. Rosalie and Emmett had gone though; Rose believed they deserved some privacy. And then of course there was the reason everyone really knew she went: to spend some quality time with Emmett.

Esme and Carlisle were planning on going away for the week as well. Alice had already informed me we would be joining them on the way to their get-away, and travel further ourselves, to visit Peter and Charlotte. There was little I could object to.

"I'm trying to get attuned to Bella," Alice answered, her eyes still closed. When she opened her eyes, they were full of frustration. I could only imagine what she was seeing. Bella's and Edward's joy was evident throughout the entire house. "It's kinda difficult when all I can see is her and Edward together all the time."

"Nothing new there then," I smiled and kissed her hair. When Alice had first told me that Bella and Edward would hit it off, I hadn't believed her, even though I did know better than that. It just seemed odd that this socially awkward newborn would be interesting enough for my brother. Or that my broody artist of a brother would hold any interest for Bella. Alice was rarely wrong.

"You're still worried about her, aren't you?" Alice turned in my arms, facing me now. It wasn't really a question, we knew each other well enough to know when the other was feeling what. "About her being so young?" her big eyes stared up at me questioningly. Alice had already told me I should stop worrying about Bella, but I couldn't. Her behaviour went against everything I had seen in a newborn. She was calm, in control of her thinking and her emotions. It baffled me.

"And wondering why. You really think it's only because of her gift?" If it was really that, just some sort of immunity inherent to only Bella, I didn't have to sacrifice anything else I believed in.

"Yes," Alice nodded, and started tracing random patterns on my chest with her fingertips. Her answer was all I needed to be reassured.

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_(Esme POV)_

"Where are we going?" Carlisle asked me when he caught me packing. I skipped quickly from one side of the room to the other, grabbing a bundle of clothes from a drawer. Carlisle took hold of my arm and pulled me towards him. He knew how distracted I got when I packed; a mother hen making sure nothing was forgotten.

"You know better than to ask me that," I looked up into his eyes, his arms tightly around me. I smiled at him playfully. "You'd have a better shot asking Alice."

"You seem very convinced that this week is all Bella and Edward need to fall for each other."

"They're already falling for each other, love," I put a hand on his chest. I was surprised he hadn't seen or heard it himself. Bella was clearly fascinated, and Edward's interest had been apparent even sooner. The whole house felt like it was echoing with their happy spirit; everyone could feel it, there was a light that had returned into one of the darker corners of the house.

"I don't know," he looked away in thought, but his eyes rested back on me quickly. "She's very protective about her past." We all knew that, but I believed that if there was anyone who could get it out of her, it would be Edward. Not because he could read minds, but because she didn't have to hide from him. She didn't have to hide from us either, but I guessed that would take just a little more time.

"She's what he wants," I pressed into Carlisle's chest now, and pushed him back against the wall. He chuckled. "And I'm pretty sure Alice has known that he's what _she_ wants from the start."

"You're a hopeless romantic, you know that?" he took my face in his hands, and rubbed his nose against mine playfully. I laughed loudly and let him kiss me.

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**comments are my cherry-pie!  
**

next chapter: Forever Begins Now (*wink wink*)


	11. Forever Begins Now

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**Chapter Eleven: FOREVER BEGINS NOW  
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**summary:** _Vampire Bella Swan is used to her life as a recluse artist. But then Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and suddenly she finds herself with the possibility of breaking free from her guilty existence. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward, Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** AU. WIP. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** Only Edward and Bella for the next few chapters, y'all are excited now right? Thanks a bunch you all you lovelies that are reading and leaving me comments! Special thanks to helaluvE for beta'ing!

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_(Edward POV)_

Bella and I were alone in the house now. Rosalie wanted to give us the privacy she believed we deserved; I was grateful for that. Emmett wanted to get away from me; apparently I'd become quite a boring brother. Esme and Carlisle were going north to visit Tanya and her family, and Alice and Jasper were going to see Peter and Charlotte. Strange, I thought, because my family had never given me this much room before. Why would they, when they knew perfectly well _I_ never did. Not that listening in on their innermost thoughts was something I did intentionally.

I took Bella hunting; Jasper would never forgive me if I let her go alone. As much as he was willing to trust Alice's visions that Bella was no danger to any of us, he still had his doubts. A leopard doesn't change its spots over night. I wouldn't have let her go by herself either way; I wanted to take advantage of the time we had together. I'd been dying to get her alone to ask all the questions that remained unanswered, and now I finally had the chance.

I also had a first chance to see Bella hunting our way as well; I immediately understood Emmett's prior amusement with her. She was a delight to see, elegant, strong and careful with the animal at the same time. She was a natural. I watched her in fascination the entire time.

"The Denalis are like your family?" she asked me. We were walking aimlessly through the forest, not really going anywhere. She didn't have a problem with the slower pace I had set; she seemed to want to get to know me as much as I wanted to know her. "They only live on animal blood?"

"Yes. We're not quite as unique as you like to think we are," I smiled at her, but she cast down her eyes quickly. I realised that it must have made her feel horrible, knowing that there were others like us out there that had grown a conscience, but had actually found the willpower to change their ways. "I'm sorry," I apologized, "It wasn't my intention to make you feel uncomfortable," but she shook it off with a shrug.

"They have companions as well? The sisters?" she asked. I thought it was a curious question. Had she not met any other vampires with a companion? Was it really so unbelievable that our kind could love?

"No," I frowned, and Tanya sprang to mind. She was probably expecting to see me when Esme and Carlisle arrived. Her feelings for me weren't deep though, or strong enough for her to consider leaving her sisters. I could never return her feelings either way. "They're a little less... restrained in their relationships with humans. Mainly men."

"Oh," Bella said, distracted. Then it hit her. "OH!" she exclaimed and looked up at me, but was quick to look away again shyly. I was waiting for her to ask if that was even possible, that kind of physical contact between humans and vampires, but the thought didn't seem to cross her mind. Or at least not consciously. I wondered why it wasn't curious to her, after all there were so many things about our kind she didn't know yet.

"Tell me," I felt bold, and asked the question that would have been my first had my liking for Bella not completely overruled me from the moment I looked at her. "When you look at Esme and Carlisle, what do you see?"

"What do you mean?"

I rephrased my question, making it a statement I hoped wouldn't be true. "You don't believe in love."

Bella halted in her tracks. "I do," she said, almost offended, but I'm guessing she held back when she realised she hadn't given me any reason to think otherwise. She took a minute to think; the forest was alive around us. "I never questioned our kind's _ability_ to love, I know what I can feel myself," she explained, and for some reason, my heart leaped up. Maybe there was hope for an _us_. My breath caught in my throat for a single second. An _us_? It sounded right. "I just never had the best example," she added.

At this point I was too curious to stop myself. I had to know more about her, and if I wanted to, I'd need to ask her more, stop being too careful around her. I needed to ask her about the past she hid from us. Curiosity reached up my chest and into my mouth. "What do you mean?" I asked.

She didn't take her eyes off me for a long time. It didn't matter to me, we could have stood there for days and I would have given her the time to answer, as long as that's what she did. "I knew about vampires before I was turned," she said after a few minutes. And then she cast down her eyes, my prying awakening a bad memory I wish I could rid her off. "There was one of them. _James_," she said the name with such disdain that I hated him instantly. "He pretended to... love me."

A memory escaped her mind then; she was seeing James in her mind, and I could see him too. I immediately felt like I was intruding but I couldn't _not_ see, I couldn't look away. I saw him, _James_, through her human eyes, so long ago. It seemed so far away, yet at the same time so close. His hair was blonde and he wore a leather jacket. He was smiling down at her, leaning in closer...

She shook her head decisively. This was something she didn't want to remember. We started walking again in no particular direction. It was raining overhead, but it didn't penetrate the forest ceiling. This James pretended to love her? I knew the effect our kind could have on mortals, our beauty irresistible for them. It was what made us the most dangerous predators in the world. But why pretend? Why put her through that?

I still needed to know more, to soothe the aching curiosity that was taking hold of me. She was there, I had her alone, and she was talking to me about her past. If only I could break through that wall of protection completely, make her see she could trust me, wholly, completely, like I trusted her.

"Is he the one who turned you?" I asked, still seeing him in my mind. I hated him for making her feel this way, for forcing her into something she hadn't wanted. And yet, if he was the one who turned her, he was also the reason she was here with me now. "He wanted you to join him? As his... _companion_?" Fury rippled through me as I realised that this life had been forced upon her, against her will. And _yet_. I felt conflicted.

"I think so," she answered hesitantly, looking down at the ground. "I'm not... _really_ sure." She looked up at me carefully, probably waiting for me to ask another question, bring back more painful memories. I stared at her shortly, realising something only then. This time it was me that stopped walking. She _did_ trust me. That's _why_ she was sharing this with me.

A howling broke through the trees, forcing both of us out of the trance we appeared to be in. I had been so distracted by my will to get to know Bella that I hadn't noticed how close we'd come to the Quileute treaty line. Our proximity must be making the wolves anxious.

"Werewolves?" Bella stared towards the sound questioningly.

"Shape shifters," I corrected, "They change into wolves at their own will. The full moon holds no power over them. They're a much more sensible kind of animal, if you can believe that," I explained. "You know about werewolves?" I thought it strange, because Bella had no contact with other vampires before meeting my family, yet she did know about werewolves.

"Yeah," she shook her head, and another thought about James brushed the surface of her thoughts. "Just stories really. James liked hunting them," she said with a quirk in her lips. I wondered why he had wanted her. For a companion to hunt with? To hunt himself? Why would anyone do this to a person for sport? I grew angry again, and I didn't want to be. Not now.

"None of that matters anymore," I said, and she stopped too, turning around. I took a step closer, mere inches away from her. "This is where you belong now," I said, and raised a hand slowly. I touched my fingers to her cheek softly; it was smooth and warm underneath the palm of my hand. "Forget him." She looked up, never once breaking eye contact.

I wanted to reach down into her mind, and purge her from all the bad memories, from all the pain. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, that I wouldn't make her remember again, even though I knew that was a promise I couldn't make. When her eyes settled down in mine though, I knew it wasn't a promise I needed to make. She trusted me. And I loved her.

I don't know how long we stood there, me touching a hand to her face, Bella staring back at me, getting lost in each other's eyes. She didn't move, and I didn't need her to. We had all the time in the world. We had forever.

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shamelessly pimping my new series: **Wayward Children** (dark!Edward, newborn!Bella)

next chapter: Love?


	12. Love?

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**Chapter Twelve: LOVE?  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward, Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** Sorry for the lateness-ess, I have been having problems uploading anything at all to these past few days, what's up with that? Anyway, here is the next chapter! For those asking me this: this is not, I repeat not even remotely the start of any kind of epilogue to this story. There will be many more chapters. Love to all you lovelies leaving me reviews/comments. Special love to my beta helaluvE.

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_(Bella POV)_

Every part of my body felt like a live wire; Edward's hand on my cheek, his voice reaching out to me, telling me to forget about the past so that we could move to the future together. He didn't say it in that many words, but I knew how he was feeling. I was starting to feel it too. Was it love? Could it be that I had not only found a way out of my guilty existence, but also a love for life?

He told me to forget James. Could it really be that simple? Did I just need to let go, forget about the past, and head for a future that promised to be nothing but perfect? I wanted to believe him, part of me needed to believe him, because I already knew I trusted Edward completely. The feeling came suddenly, but it wasn't unexpected. The longer I had spend with the Cullens and with Edward alone, the more I felt my carefully constructed walls faltering, dissolving, because with them I didn't need to hide. I didn't need to be afraid. Least of all with Edward by my side.

_Okay _I thought, reluctant to break the silence that had set between us, even though I knew he'd hear it as clear as day. This moment was perfect; I didn't want to let anything ruin that.

I don't know how long we stood there, unmoving, the howls of shape shifters echoing through the forest. He didn't move his hand, or moved closer, but I don't think it's what either of us needed. We needed this moment to show that we trusted each other, blindly, and that we would never leave each other's heart again.

Then, the rain shower broke through the trees.

Edward turned his face up towards the sky, smiling. I followed his example. I felt how each single raindrop touched my skin, streaming smoothly over my skin. We were still laughing when I felt his eyes resting on me. I looked at him, and couldn't stop smiling. "Let's go home," he said, and traced his finger across my cheek one last time.

It was time for me to sketch Edward, and I felt strangely _conflicted_. Now that I knew him, probably better than anyone else in the Cullen family, I knew that my vision of him would taint my painter's eye. I'd make him more beautiful than the others, more perfect, if such a thing was even possible. I watched him sit behind the piano, wearing a fresh pair of clothes, his fingers ghosting over the keys.

He knew that I was looking at him, my eyes just reaching over the canvas in front of me, but he didn't respond to it. I glanced from him to the empty sheet of paper, and couldn't will my hand to draw his perfect lines and curves. I couldn't rid myself of another perfect image in my mind. The next moment I looked up again, Edward was gone.

My heart almost leaped up out of my chest when I felt him behind me. "What are you doing?" I asked curiously. He kept his distance; his hands were behind his back as he loomed behind me. Just like me, he was staring at the empty canvas in front of me.

"You've seen me play the piano," he whispered into my ear, and I shivered when I felt his breath caress my neck. "I thought it only fair I got to see you paint." His tone was playful, teasing, but I knew he was perfectly serious about watching me paint.

"I was trying to _sketch_ you," I tried to sound playful as well, but I guessed I failed, because I heard him chuckle lightly.

"You're not getting very far."

I knew I wasn't getting very far. I had known for a long time now that our kind was susceptible to many distractions, but the one thing that had always kept me preoccupied was my art. Now thanks to Edward, I couldn't even focus on that. Not that I was complaining. "You're not sitting where you're supposed to sit," I answered.

"What about that memory of yours? Can't be too hard to imagine me sitting there," he said, still teasing. It wasn't helping my concentration. He moved even closer, his chest connecting with my back. I breathed in his scent, sweet and thick, and then turned my head to look at him. I threw him an accusing glance. "What?" he huffed.

"It's not that I can't picture you there," I admitted. I had seen him at his piano a few times now, the image crystal clear in my mind, and I could easily picture him there right now. That wasn't the problem. "It's that I'm picturing me there as well," I confessed.

He took a breath before speaking again. "Show me," his eyes had a sudden passion in them, fierce; the deepest desire I had ever seen, to know my thoughts, to see what I was seeing right now. "Please?" he begged, his eyes only mellowing softly. I drowned in them, that liquid golden brown looked like it was moving; I felt like I could see into his soul. I couldn't deny him this.

I closed my eyes when I felt his lips brush my forehead, and I opened my mind to him. Every cell in my body was bustling with ecstasy, the light touch of his lips against my skin making me feel alive for the first time in my immortal life. I showed him what I was seeing, a picture of both of us, his arms around me, smiling. "Sketch it," he whispered against my skin.

"But Esme..." I opened my eyes again, keeping my close position.

"You _are_ part of this family now Bella," he moved away from me to look me in the eyes and put his hands on my shoulders; I almost whimpered. "Would you rather be on a painting on your own as well? Or while you're painting?" He already knew that was something I didn't want. "I know Alice has been dying to sketch you. Esme would love it."

"But..." I tried to object, but in no way did I make it sound convincing.

"Sketch it," he insisted, and grabbed my chin gently, lovingly, forcing me to look back at the canvas. I growled lightly, but all he did was chuckle. He took my right hand in his, holding the piece of charcoal, and directed it towards a still empty page. My mom used to say there was nothing sadder than an empty page. "Your mom's right," his lips rested against the shell of my ear, and a shiver ran up my spine. My concentration was definitely slipping if he had heard that thought.

The charcoal touched the paper. Even though his hand was on mine, I didn't need to put effort into making the lines go my way. I was leading and his hand lay feather light on top of mine, tracing every line I put on the page, forming an image of both of us, creating a picture of us moving towards the future together.

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**comments are my cherry-pie!  
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next chapter: Kiss and Tell (1)


	13. Kiss and Tell: part 1

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**Chapter Thirteen: KISS & TELL (part 1)  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** fluffy goody-goodness for everyone to enjoy, and i'm not done by a long shot! thank you for the awesome reviews and comments, and especially thanks to those who left me actual slices of cherry-pie. special thanks to helaluvE as always, my amazing beta!

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_(Bella POV)_

Edward watched me paint everything. We had a week together, alone, but he insisted that I went about my work in the usual way. After all, we did have forever. So I took out all the sketches I had made of his family over the last month, and splayed them out on the basement floor; I was determined to stay there, rather than go back up to my studio. Edward hadn't objected.

I watched him play and compose a new symphony; it didn't have a name yet, but for now he called it our symphony. We took turns asking each other questions; he wanted to get to know me as much as I wanted to know him. For the ninety odd years he had on me though, he talked about his life as if it was as ordinary as mine. Like there was always something more he'd been waiting for. I had to admit, I felt the same way.

"You repeat high school over and over again?" I asked curiously, seated next to him on the bench behind the piano. My vampire hands didn't grow tired of painting, but I bathed in his close proximity; it was like swathing myself in his silk smell and velvety voice. "That sounds miserable."

"People expect certain things from well-behaving youngsters such as ourselves," he grinned, his fingers never leaving the keys of the piano, his eyes never leaving mine. "It would stand out if we didn't go to school." I could understand that. "We like the pretence." I knew he was mostly talking about Rosalie there, but I could see it; Edward in a classroom, standing out for obvious reasons, but laid back and relaxed, because he already knew everything. "And sometimes we enjoy the company."

"Of humans?" my eyes went wide in question, and tried to imagine myself in a room full of humans. How do the Cullens resist the temptation? How would I ever be able to be as perfect as them? I tried to imagine myself in that classroom, sitting next to Edward, but all I could see was rivers of red veins and having to control my urges every second of every hour spend among so many humans.

"You'll learn," he said softly, his eyes fierce, almost commanding.

I had to believe him.

I had always been happy painting, but for the first time in my life I was perfectly content without as well. In Edward's company I didn't have to be the recluse artist, I didn't need to keep my distance; he wouldn't have wanted me to. I didn't need to hide for the first time in my life, and it felt refreshing, but more so because of Edward. The Cullens played a big part of why I felt like I was able to let go of my past, but it was Edward that made me feel that I didn't have to be afraid of my past.

He played another tune when he looked away from me, a distantly familiar one. I realised it was a song my mother used to play. _Claire de Lune_? I asked in thought and he only smiled at me in response; in the last few days it had only been his soft velvet voice that had broken the comfortable silence between us.

He appeared to be deep in thought, a soft crease between his eyebrows, and then he abruptly stopped playing. He looked at me, his lips quirked. My eyes went wide in question, but I held back any words; he would tell me what was going on if it was important. He leaned in then, and whispered in my ear; my breathing deepened. "Follow me," he said.

I got up from the bench and he took me by the hand, leading me upstairs in complete silence. I wondered briefly where we were going, until we arrived at what Alice had previously pointed out as Edward's room. I looked at him curiously before pushing past him in the doorway; _ladies first_, ever the gentleman.

"Dance with me," he was next to his CD-player seconds later, and the same tune he had just been playing down in the basement filled up the darkened room. _Debussy_.

"Dance with you?" my eyes went wide, again; it seemed like it was a day of surprises for me. I had always suspected that there was a romantic side to Edward, even before really meeting him; his music had told me that. It was another thing to actually experience this; it was something new to me, vampire or human, I had never been loved quite like this.

"Yes," he said softly and closed the distance between us achingly slowly.

"I can't dance," I smiled with a quirk of my lips. He still moved towards me, and put one hand on my waist, pulling me even closer to him; his eyes didn't leave my body.

"Just like you didn't know how to play baseball?" he looked up at me softly and raised an eyebrow in question. His other hand found my waist; I bit down on my bottom lip, then started breathing through my mouth. This was turning into something much more intense very fast. I suddenly wasn't sure what to do with my hands.

"Elegance isn't really a skill you can teach someone," I tried to keep my voice steady, placing my hands on his shoulders hesitantly. I remembered feeling like this once before, with someone who had no place in this room or my thoughts at all, though what I felt towards Edward was definitely much more intense. This time I was sure no matter what happened, I would have Edward by my side forever.

"I happen to think you're very elegant," he smiled softly, removing one of his hands to take hold of one of mine. I felt my breathing deepen automatically, beyond my own control. I couldn't even smile at the thought of me being elegant: no one had ever said that about me. Not without knowing it was a lie anyway.

"That doesn't mean all that much coming from a ninety year old vampire who's good at everything he does," I tried to joke, make conversation, avoid thinking of James at a time where all I wanted to think about was Edward and me. He smiled again, but some of the conviction had seeped out of it. Was he noticing my sudden and strange distress? I had never hated James more than in this very moment.

"I will never hurt you Bella," one of his hands was on my cheeks again, his eyes burning into mine, trying to desperately convey a meaning that I had long since accepted. Edward _would_ never hurt me. Edward _could_ never hurt me. I felt that in the deepest corners of my heart.

_I know_ I told him in thought, and for the first time since we met I put my hand to his face. He closed his eyes to my touch. I pulled him closer with all the strength left in me, and hugged my arms tight around his neck. He buried his face in my hair, breathing in deeply. I was never going to let him go again.

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anyone interested in something darker by me: Wayward Children (dark!Edward/newborn!Bella)

next chapter: Kiss and Tell (2)


	14. Kiss and Tell: part 2

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**Chapter Fourteen: KISS & TELL (part 2)  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** even MORE fluff and love all around for everyone, because let's face it, we're all just suckers for some romance yes? thanks to all my readers, you rock beyond awesome. love love love to my beta helaluvE. special thanks to emily_sheppard who helped me out with this chapter!

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**-- how about we try to get to 100 comments?? y'all game? --**

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_(Bella POV)_

That night could have torn us apart, maybe in a human relationship it would have; I had seen it happen before. Edward didn't push me though; he gave me space and time while still remaining a reliable constant in my life. The only one I had at present. And God knew I wanted him to be mine – insofar he wasn't yet of course – emotionally, and yes, even physically; I wanted him.

"So your mother was an artist too?" Edward asked. _Another_ question. I knew that it was really my turn now, but I decided to consider it a follow up question to his '_where did you get your talent from?_' first question. It served me right for answering that it was probably genetic.

"My mom was a bit of everything," I shrugged, and applied my paint brush to the canvas lightly; I was adding the finishing touches to my Alice and Jasper painting. I was incredibly happy with the result. Edward was standing behind me again, studying my every move. "Yoga, music, painting. She had a membership for everything you can imagine."

"And your dad?" he asked, no longer careful with me; he knew that I was willing to tell him anything. He hadn't asked me anything more about James though, for which I was deeply grateful, but I knew that when he would – if he ever did – I'd give him all the answers he wanted. Edward was my life now.

I chuckled as I remembered my father. I remembered how his moustache used to tickle my cheek whenever he kissed me. Edward chuckled too; I was past keeping certain things from him. He could know my past; though my present thoughts were mostly my own. That was just something he'd have to deal with. "Not an artistic bone in his body. He was... _is_ a cop," I corrected myself quickly. I really had to stop talking about my parents in the past tense, they were still alive after all.

"Do you miss them?" another question fell from his beautiful lips, right after I applied the final brush stroke to my painting. I took a step back, not seeing the finished result. Instead I thought about my parents, Charlie and Renee. They were the best parents anyone could ever have. My mother was a busy bee, an emotional person, perfectly complemented by my laid-back detached father. Sometimes I had wondered how they had worked out together all these years.

I chewed on my bottom lip while I thought through Edward's question. "I don't really know. I've never allowed myself to give it much thought, afraid that I would be tempted to go see them. But they have each other. That helps with the guilt."

"Guilt?" he was by my side before I could blink, looking at me like I had just said the strangest thing he'd ever heard. His golden eyes sank into mine; they almost matched now. "You're not guilty of becoming a vampire Bella. Someone did this to you. You can't blame that on yourself." I noticed how he avoided saying the name _James_.

"I can't blame myself for letting him?" I stared up at him. James had fooled me so easily, and even though it was the effect all vampires tended to have on humans when they really tried, I still felt like a complete idiot for ever falling for it.

"What he did to you was wrong," he put his hands on either side of my face. I almost felt like crawling out of my skin; it was absolutely the most wonderful thing I had ever felt in my entire life.

"You're sweet," I tore my gaze away from him, and cast down my eyes, smiling.

"And I wasn't even trying to be," he said, leaning in even closer as he lifted my chin gently.

"I mean, you make it sound like you're sorry for me," I shook my head slightly. "Like you would have preferred that James had stayed away from me altogether," a thought that once upon a time I would have preferred as well. I couldn't find that same conviction anywhere in my mind right now. "But then I wouldn't be here," I put my hand over one of his on my cheek.

"Now you're being too kind," he smiled, and I stared at him in question, "Because part of me is so very much not sorry," a streak of guilt touched his eyes.

"I guess we're all essentially selfish creatures," I smiled, finding it almost impossible not to move even closer to him, to push my body up against his, to marvel at his touch and breathe him in.

"You disagree," he said, but it sounded more like a question. He was asking me about James. I already knew that I could never feel the same way as before; James was a dark spot in my past, yes, and would always be there. I couldn't find myself wanting to erase it anymore.

"Not before I met you," I admitted, but felt a much deeper and intense truth dig its way out of my heart and out into the open. I needed to tell him this. "Now I'm thinking that maybe I was destined for this life all along." I put a hand on his chest, staring at it for a split second before looking back up into his eyes again. I felt how his breathing deepened underneath the palm of my hand.

His eyes weren't black, but they were dark enough, desire-filled to the brim. His hands were still on my face, but now his fingers stroked my cheeks, his thumb flickering over my bottom lip. I self-consciously bit down on it, causing Edward to swallow, though for any human being it would have been barely noticeable.

My own breathing deepened. He leaned in closer, staring at my lips as I was staring at his. But I needed to tell him something first, before ever kissing him, before acting out on these true and strong feelings inside my heart. So I put my hands on either side of his face, mirroring the way he was holding me, and I looked him deep in the eyes. "I love you," I said, loud and clear so that he would hear even though I knew he would have even if I had just thought it.

The amount of restraint he showed was almost ridiculous; he just continued to stare at me for a long time, letting my words sink in, knowing I didn't really need him to say it back. "As I love you," he said, just as clear, just as loud, just as perfect as he was himself. He leaned in again, and I raised myself up on my toes slowly; this moment didn't need to be rushed.

When our lips met in an intake of breaths we didn't really need, the world stopped mattering to me, the past and future dissolved and melted into this one perfect moment that stood still in time, and all I could see was Edward. The kiss was tentative and slow, our lips connecting, lightly exploring. My paint-smeared hands dug into his golden-brown hair, staining it with all the colours of the rainbow, but it didn't matter.

It quickly turned into something more; the flutter in my stomach started burning, achingly slow at first and then it was set ablaze. I nestled my body against his, every part of his body touching every part of mine it seemed, but I still needed more. I felt his tongue push past my teeth, settling down against my own in a slow but passionately burning kiss. My head started spinning as minutes – perhaps even hours, who was really keeping track at this point – passed, our bodies burning with desire.

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next chapter: Kiss and Tell (EPOV)


	15. Kiss and Tell: EPOV

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**Chapter Fifteen: KISS & TELL (EPOV)  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** special chapter - basically it's Edward's take on the previous two chapters. i know it's more important to have seen this from Bella's POV, but my love for Edward was too strong. hope everyone enjoys! thanks to everyone leaving me comments/reviews, you guys seriously rock. special thanks to my super special beta helaluvE!

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_(Edward's POV)_

When Bella painted her mind was mostly silent, focused completely on the work at hand, on every separate brush-stroke she put on the canvas. Even as a vampire, I didn't know how she did it, the details her paintings showed were remarkable and awe worthy, invisible to any human eye. My eyes caught every nuance, every change in colour, every shade and texture she emphasized. Her eyes shone with fascination and utter concentration. This was something that made her completely happy. I loved watching her like this.

I had realised it was a distraction as well, from the thirst, from her past that continued to play through her shielded thoughts. Painting was just her way of dealing with things. The more time we spend together though, the more I noticed she was able to tear herself away from her work, sitting by my side comfortably, at ease, _close_, or taking walks with me in the forest while we asked each other our array of questions. I had so many.

I started composing a new symphony, Bella's lullaby the main theme running through the entire piece, while she started painting my family. She got paint everywhere; her hands were smeared, the dresses Alice had got her fell victim as well – though something told me that was _why_ Alice had gotten her so many – and sometimes she even left a paint smudge on her nose, making me gleam inside.

We took turns asking each other questions – it was only fair – and it seemed she was surprised by how unimpressive my life had been so far. Sure, I had studied medicine and languages, I had mastered the piano; my life had been good, but something had always been missing. I knew its name now. It was Bella.

I told her about our high school escapades, a thing she found terrifying. Her fear of losing control was still there, and I knew it would take her time to adjust, but I also knew for a fact that it would come as easy to her as everything else had. I played another tune for her, one of my personal favourites. _Claire de Lune?_ she asked in thought but I only smiled in response; I was quite impressed by how much we did in fact have in common.

I continued to play while I mused on that. I already knew what I felt for her, deeply, and I knew she trusted me completely, but I wondered if what she felt for me was love as well. I couldn't deny the intensity of my feelings, nor could I ignore the attraction I felt towards her. It took me all my strength not to reach out and touch her all the time, because I desperately wanted to.

My playing stopped abruptly, and Bella looked at me in question. "Follow me," I whispered into her ear; I saw her breathing deepen. I took her by the hand and led her upstairs in silence, to my room where I knew _Debussy _was waiting for us in the CD-player. "Dance with me," I asked her. I hated how it seemed merely as an excuse to be able to touch her.

"Dance with you?" her eyes went wide again, seeming utterly surprised.

"Yes," I said softly, and closed the distance between us slowly. Again, it took me all my strength not to move faster, but I didn't want to scare her. I already knew I had her trust.

"I can't dance," she smiled, but I wasn't looking at her face anymore. I should have thought it funny, because everything she didn't know already had come easily to her, as if she had known it all along and just needed to be shown the way. I put a hand around her waist, my eyes on her body. I loathed myself for feeling this way, even though I was told it was a very manly thing to feel, but I didn't want to be like any other man. I didn't want to be like James.

"Just like you didn't know how to play baseball?" I looked up at her. My other hand found her waist, and she bit down on her bottom lip; she started breathing through her mouth. I felt my own lips part.

"Elegance isn't really a skill you can teach someone," she hesitantly placed her hands on my shoulders. It was one of the first times _she _had touched me and it felt so good, so right. But her voice was unsteady; I heard it despite the fact that she tried to hide it. _James_. The word ran involuntarily through her mind. She willed it to go away, but the more she tried, the more memories came back to her.

"I happen to think you're very elegant," I smiled despite hearing the same line fall from James lips in her mind. That bastard, that sinner, that unholy self-centred son of the devil who thought it was right to hurt her. My desire for her suddenly didn't matter anymore; I needed to make her feel at ease again. I took one of her hands in mine.

"That doesn't mean all that much coming from a ninety year old vampire who's good at everything he does," she tried to joke, and I could have kissed her right there. So selfless a creature she was, so perfect, and intent on making the people around her feel good, instead of thinking of herself first. I could never do this to her when all it did was cause her pain. I needed to give her time and space, like I had asked from my family so often in the past decades.

"I will never hurt you Bella," I put one of my hands on her cheek again, my eyes trying to tell her that I understood, that I would never force her, never pretend to be anyone else. I _would_ never hurt her. I _could_ never hurt her. That was the deepest truth of my existence.

_I know_ she told me in thought. I wished she'd told me aloud, but that thought disappeared the moment she put a hand on my cheek. It was silky smooth and warm against my own skin, and I closed my eyes to the touch. I felt like I was drowning and flying at the same time again, the gesture she made me echoing clearer than anything before. She pulled me closer, her arms hugging tightly around my neck and I buried my face in her hair. She was there, safe in my arms, and I would never let her go again. She _was_ my life now.

That night could have pushed us further apart, maybe it would have had our bond been any less strong. If anything however, we only grew closer together. She was done trying to hide things from me; I was even sure that if I asked her about James, she would tell me everything I wanted to know. I didn't though, I couldn't when I knew how much it hurt her, and how he managed to come between us.

So we continued onto more questions. There was little I could ask her about her vampire life, so I asked her about her birth parents. And then there it was again, that selfless feeling that aired off her whenever she talked about her past. She felt guilty for leaving her parents. "You're not guilty of becoming a vampire Bella," I told her, "Someone did this to you. You can't blame that on yourself," I stood next to her, in front of a finished painting of Alice and Jasper, but neither of us had eyes for it.

"I can't blame myself for letting him?" she stared up at me. _James_. She had to stop blaming herself for falling for his vices, she had to realise that it wasn't her fault and any weaker human would have given herself over to him completely.

"What he did to you was wrong," I put my hands on either side of her face.

"You're sweet," she smiled. I knew that in some way I had convinced her.

"And I wasn't even trying to be," I lifted her chin gently.

"I mean, you make it sound like you're sorry for me," she shook her head. I was sorry for her, for having to go through that, for being _put_ through that. "Like you would have preferred that James had stayed away from me altogether." It was true. If I had a choice, and if I really wanted to be the man I believed I was, that my family believed I was, I would have let her go and live her life as a human. "But then I wouldn't be here." She was right. Was I really that strong?

"Now you're being too kind," I smiled, and she stared at me in question, "Because part of me is so very much not sorry," I felt guilty for admitting it.

"I guess we're all essentially selfish creatures," she smiled.

"You disagree," I made it sound more like a question. Did she really trust me that much? Or was it something more? Was she telling me this out of love? Was she telling me right here, in so many words, that she took the pain, took the memories, and chose to live with them to be with me?

"Not before I met you," she said, and I felt my heart leap up. "Now I'm thinking that maybe I was destined for this life all along."

She loved me.

This wasn't about desire, it wasn't about physicality, even though part of me was fighting against my urges right now. She loved me, that was all that mattered. She put her hand on my chest, and I felt my own breathing deepen. My fingers stroked her cheeks, my thumb caressing her bottom lip. She bit down on it, and I swallowed hard, unbelieving this moment.

Her breathing deepened as well. I leaned in closer, staring at her lips like she was now staring at mine. Before I could do anything her hands were on my face, as mine were on hers, mirror images, the same yet different. "I love you," her eyes dug her way down to my soul, her hands stroking my desire but her words; they kissed my non-beating heart.

I fought my own body for long moments, letting her words sink in. I knew she already knew my affection ran just as deep, but still I felt the need to tell her. "As I love you," I said, just as clear as she had. We stared at each other a moment longer, and then I leaned in again, Bella raising herself on her toes to reach me.

Our lips met right after we breathed in each other's scent, sweet and riddled with a desire I was sure then neither of us had ever felt before. Time and space stopped mattering; all I could see, feel, smell and taste was Bella. Her hands dug into my hair, no doubt smearing it with every colour in the spectrum, but that didn't matter either. All that mattered was us.

A flaming desire burned through me, and she felt it too, because she pushed her body up against mine, completely, and I felt every inch of her. Every line and curve, just as perfect as the ones she put on canvas. Every change in breathing, every intake of breath. The kiss grew more urgent, immediate, and my tongue pushed past her teeth, melting against hers in a slow but hot-burning flame.

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next chapter: Kiss and Tell (3)


	16. Kiss and Tell: part 3

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**Chapter Sixteen: KISS & TELL (3)  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** last chapter of the 'kiss & tell' variety. Bella and Edward discuss some serious things. thank you to everyone leaving me these awesome reviews/comments. specially for all of you i'm putting up chapter 17 up as well. enjoy! special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

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_(Bella POV)_

Edward and I had gone for a walk every day since the Cullens had gone. We both realised our days alone together were running out, but it didn't stop us from taking our time with each other. Neither of us wanted to rush things; why would we when we had eternity on our side? I was grateful to him for that, for giving me time, though space was definitely something I could never ask of him again. I didn't want there to be any more distance between us.

I believed he thought the same, that's why I thought it was strange he hadn't asked me anything about James other than whether or not he was the one who had turned me. As I walked through the forest with Edward, hand in hand, I realised that I had given him little incentive to ask me anything about James at all; Edward had told me my eyes gave my emotions away. It was one thing to read my mind, but read my eyes? Even now, did they really show him so much pain?

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked me, and squeezed my hand lightly.

"I was thinking about James," I admitted, perhaps a little too fast.

"James?" he asked surprised. Admittedly, it was rather strange to be thinking about James while Edward and I were enjoying our time alone together. However, being with Edward made it easier to think about my past. It put things in perspective for me; if I hadn't become a vampire, I would never have found him. Life was all about putting things in perspective; my dad used to tell me that all the time, but it was only now that I understood.

"You haven't asked me anything about him," I turned my head to look at him, and a sentiment of worry coloured his golden-brown eyes. Little did he know there wasn't anything to worry about. I was completely convinced that this was my home now. Edward was my home now, and there should be no secrets between us.

"You don't like talking about him." We both stopped walking, and faced each other. "Of course I have questions, but I hate to see you hurt. The past doesn't matter, only the present," he said. I remembered reading once that the past was what people needed to live in the present, and the way they dealt with that past was how they could look at the future. It was because of my past that I now knew I was meant to be with Edward. _Forever_.

"You're not jealous of him, are you?" I frowned. Maybe that was why he didn't like to talk about James, because I'd shared something with him that Edward cherished, that he had learned to cherish: my virginity. He was only a product of his time after all. "Because there is no need to be." There was no need for jealousy whatsoever; anything I had shared with James in the past was tainted with the bitter taste of hatred, disgust, and betrayal. Anything I would share with Edward in the future, would be something to truly cherish.

"Jealous is not the word I would use. More like rage, hatred," his lips pulled back over his teeth; if he had been any more angry he would have growled. I had definitely been wrong, Edward only cared about my wellbeing. How more of a gentleman could he be? "You can't _force_ someone to love you, to be your companion."

"He had one," I said, and his eyes snapped back up to me. "Victoria," her face dawned up inside my head as soon as I'd spoken the name. My human memories were pretty blurry, but I would never forget Victoria's hair, a fiery red, just like her eyes. "What he did to me he did for sport, I guess," I shrugged, and as if the forest was listening in on my pain, the wolves howled again, the sound seeming to come from all around us.

"Don't worry about them," Edward said, our fingers still laced together, but I wasn't worried. "They won't hurt us as long as we don't cross the treaty line." I knew by now that we were nowhere near the treaty line. Maybe they were hunting as well.

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_(Edward POV)_

"I'm not worried," Bella shook her head, and smiled up at me. "I feel safe here," she shrugged, as if to dispel the random thought, but it was anything but arbitrary to me. It was important to me that she felt safe here, not just with me, but within her surroundings as well. If the wolves didn't worry her anymore, then maybe she could find herself letting go of other things as well.

I had told myself that James didn't matter anymore, but now I was beginning to think that my silence towards him only fuelled her thoughts of my jealousy. I was jealous, in a way, of what she'd shared with him, but then if Bella had truly believed that James loved her, I could hardly blame her for that. And then in a completely selfless manner, I was everything but jealous. Why would I be jealous of a man who caused her nothing but pain? In truth, I hadn't given him much thought at all anymore, not now that I knew Bella loved me as I loved her. Other matters had taken over my mind fully.

"Have you thought anything about... living here?" I asked hesitantly. It all might have been obvious to Esme and Alice, but I couldn't read Bella's mind, or see her future. I couldn't help but wonder; did she want to live here? Did she want to leave behind her life in Phoenix to live in Forks with my family and me? And to move on when the time was there?

"I thought it was already assumed that I would be," she answered, joking, but there was no resentment or accusation detectable in her voice. "Isn't that why Alice gave me a studio?" she was so right, that _was_ why Alice had gotten her a studio, had welcomed her with open arms. Alice had known all along, but had not told me. I couldn't hold that against her though. Sometimes it was better to discover things on your own.

"I never assume quite as fast as Alice," I grinned, and pulled Bella closer to me playfully. She steadied herself against my chest with her hands, and settled her body against mine, smiling up at me. "So you're staying?" I asked softly, maybe only to have it confirmed in so many words.

"Where else am I gonna go?" she tilted her head, smiling softly up at me. I leaned in and brushed my nose against hers, our lips not yet touching, only breathing in each other's scent. I pulled her closer briskly, but she didn't complain, because the next second her lips were full on mine. We got lost in the moment. Again.

Vampires as well as humans knew many desires, but this was the first time I actually experienced getting utterly lost in one of them. It was a vampire's lack of needing sleep that made it easy to balance things, but right then I couldn't possibly see how any of us could, how they found the willpower. It was Bella who broke free from the kiss, only to rest her cheek against mine.

"We'll have to go down to Phoenix and get your things," I whispered in her ear, though it probably didn't register as one to her. "Especially your painting," I saw it clearly in my mind, the first painting Bella had ever created. She hadn't said it in that many words, but I knew she'd wanted it with her. "And you don't have to give up Lauren, we'd never ask that. She can come visit," I looked down into her eyes.

"There's no rush," she shook her head lightly. "We'll have to wait until the rest of your family returns anyway." I knew she only said that because she didn't want to lose control being among humans.

"They're your family now too," I said. A content smile flashed across her face. Bella Swan becoming a Cullen; it sounded so right and perfect. Maybe she would even find herself becoming a Cullen in more ways than one, someday. I couldn't help but wonder whether her thoughts were in line with my own.

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next chapter: Homecoming (up already! go read!)


	17. Homecoming

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**Chapter Seventeen: HOMECOMING  
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**summary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Esme/Carlisle, Emmett (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** title says it all: the Cullens are back! thank you to everyone leaving me these awesome reviews/comments. keep them coming ;) special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

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_(Edward POV)_

"Tell me about Lauren," I whispered into Bella's ear. We were lying down on the sofa, waiting for the rest of our family to return from their trips; Alice had called ahead to tell us they'd all be arriving together. It was her way of telling us to make sure they didn't walk in on Bella and me lip locked. "What's she like?" I was lying behind her, my arms around her waist, my face nestled in her hair.

She turned her head to look at me curiously. "What?" I huffed.

"Nothing," she shook her head and turned back around. I smiled and brushed my nose along the curve her neck made. She sighed and closed her eyes to the sensation, and I briefly wondered if she was going to answer my question at all. It was her mind that answered my question. I closed my eyes, and saw Lauren standing in the doorway to what I guessed was Bella's first apartment. The image was tainted by Bella's eyes, desperately avoiding to look at the human girl that had found her way to her doorstep.

From what little I _could_ tell, Lauren had a somewhat sickly look to her, as if she wasn't eating right. If she had, she would be an extremely beautiful human woman. I guessed she was in her late twenties or something. Her hair was blonde and her eyes blue, her body long, skinny, which was the most unattractive feature about her. I remember Bella telling me that she had smelled like garbage then, but a memory couldn't tell me that. She did look like she had been digging through something distasteful.

"I don't think you'd have much problems being around humans," I said matter-of-factly, "You seem very much in control around Lauren," I caressed my hand up her arm, and she turned to face me then.

"Lauren's different," she shrugged, and looked me straight in the eyes, "I need her for my _other_ human interactions. It would be absolutely disastrous for my career if I killed her." I knew she was only joking, but my faith in her had somewhat assured her that when the time came, she would be in control. Either way I wouldn't let her hurt anyone. "Besides, she wouldn't taste good either way. She doesn't eat right," Bella shook her head. Our thoughts were in sync.

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_(Bella POV)_

"I look forward to meeting her," Edward said softly, and I put my hand on his cheek. I was laying in his arms comfortably; ever since we kissed we had a hard time keeping any sort of distance between us. I couldn't stop myself from touching him; I hoped that feeling would never disappear.

"She might go in shock," I laughed loudly. I found Edward staring back at me curiously. "She's convinced that I will end up a spinster with a dozen cats." Of course that could never happen; I would be too tempted to eat them.

"Well, we'll just have to prove her wrong," he grinned, and leaned in. His lips brushed mine softly, teasing, but I knew him well enough now to know he wouldn't keep this up. He pressed his lips more firmly against mine, and we kissed, just like we had kissed down in the basement, the way we had been kissing for the past two days.

One of Edward's hands roamed to the inside of my knee, and pulled my leg around his hip. I gasped into his mouth at the sensation, but that's as far as he took it. He knew I would have my limits for a while, and I knew he had his old-fashioned rules about those things. We'd see about that when the time came.

He pulled away from me abruptly, and I whimpered. "I'm sorry, love," he smiled, and a shiver ran up my spine when he used the nickname. I _loved_ it. "But Alice really doesn't want to find us on the couch like this." I realised only then that a few cars had pulled up to the house; Edward had me completely distracted.

We both got up from the sofa, but Edward kept his arms around me from behind, even when the Cullens entered the house. "We're home!" Emmett's voice resounded through the entire house; he sounded much more cheerful then when he had left. He must have spend some real quality time with Rosalie while he was away.

"Boys," Alice pixie voice sounded then, and Edward chuckled. Whatever she was thinking, it must have been amusing. "Suitcases." Alice could be very authoritative if she needed to be. How could she not when she saw everything coming? I chuckled now too, trying to imagine the scowl Emmett would throw her, and how Jasper would immediately do what she wanted.

"Bella!" she exclaimed when she found me in her field of vision, and her lithe form skipped over to me happily and gracefully. "I missed you," she gave me a quick hug – Edward's hands were on my shoulders now – and then smiled at Edward, "And I love your painting by the way. It's absolutely gorgeous."

Edward was no doubt seeing my painting in her mind right now, exactly the same way he had seen me paint it. I suddenly wondered how often she'd tuned into our future, and how much exactly she had seen.

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_(Esme POV)_

By the time I made my way into the living room, Alice had already joined Jasper again; she wanted to give her brother some space with his Bella. I thought it was sweet. Edward had his arms around Bella, and I could see it made her self-conscious now that we were around again. "Bella," I smiled and hugged her too. Edward kissed me on the cheek. "You two have fun?" I asked, looking very intently at my son's face. He was glowing.

"We kept busy," Edward smiled, and Bella looked up at him curiously; he was undoubtedly euphemizing. They were definitely sharing a private memory when they looked into each other's eyes. His entire face was lit up, and so was Bella's. Alice and I had been right; this week was just what they needed for themselves. "Bella's paintings are coming along nicely as well," Edward said, only just managing to tear away his eyes from Bella's. I couldn't stop smiling.

"I don't suppose you'd consider giving us a sneak peek?" Carlisle joined the rest of us in the living room, and looked at Bella hopefully, but I knew he was only teasing. He threw his arms around me.

"Now dear, let's not spoil anything," I swayed in his arms. Bella seemed to relax a little in Edward's arms, watching how casual we all were in showing each other our affection. "We'll see them once they're finished," I smiled up at Carlisle. I really wanted to tell him that I'd told him so. His son had found the happiness he'd been looking for. A happiness we had always wished for him.

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_(Jasper POV)_

I felt Alice's distress before the vision actually hit her. It was a sickening and alarming feeling that settled in the pit of my stomach, instantly worrying. "Oh!" she exclaimed, and her eyes were suddenly focused on something in the distance. My arms were around her before the others had even turned around.

"Alice, what do you see?" I asked her, and held her tight, a hand on her cheek. Esme and Carlisle both took a step closer, concerned themselves. Anything that had Alice and me alarmed like this was something worth knowing about.

"No," Edward said, and he let go of Bella to walk over to us. It was strange that he let her go so suddenly; it only made me more worried about what exactly Alice was seeing in her head. Whatever it was, it made Edward nervous.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked anxiously, and walked over to stand by Edward's side. She looked up at him when he put his hands down on her shoulders. His eyes showed nothing but worry.

"You know her Edward?" Alice asked when her eyes came back into focus. I wish they wouldn't do this, have these private little conversations. What Alice saw had made her anxious, I could feel it, and I wanted her to tell me. I tried to soothe her as best as I could.

"It's Lauren," Edward continued to look at Bella; she shook her head in question. "She's in trouble."

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next chapter: the Vision


	18. the Vision

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**Chapter Eighteen: THE VISION  
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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Esme/Carlisle, Emmett/Rosalie, Lauren (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** anyone that leaves me a comment on this chapter will get a small PREVIEW, so comment at will! thanks to all you, my lovely readers. and special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

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_(Bella POV)_

"What did you see?" I asked immediately, seeing how Edward's eyes were riddled with genuine concern. I guessed that Alice hadn't recognised Lauren in what I supposed was a vision of a terrible future, but Edward had seen her in his mind. She was in trouble. How? Why? Was this my fault? The Cullen's sudden silence made me feel ill at ease.

"I need you to call Lauren," Edward said in a low voice, giving no indication that he was going to tell me anything more. Maybe it was all as well that he was the one staying calm for the both of us.

"Why?" I asked loudly and I heard Emmett and Rosalie joining us in the room; they must have heard Alice's distress. "Edward, talk to me!" I yelled, feeling like I was breaking down on the inside. If this was my fault, I would never forgive myself.

"Bella please, just call her," his hands were still on my shoulders, and they were the only thing keeping me from running out the door and straight to Phoenix. I realised his calm was not helping at all. "You have to check if she's alright."

"Why wouldn't she be?" I shook my head, still disbelieving, "Would you please just..." I looked at Alice now in desperation. But all she did was show me the same determined look that Edward was giving me. Even though Jasper was clearly not thrilled that only Alice and Edward knew what was going on, he handed me his cellphone.

"Fine," I sighed, and snatched the cellphone from Jasper's hand. I dialled the number I had dialled a thousand times before when I needed something taken care of that was outside of my vampire abilities. I never thought I'd be calling out of concern for Lauren's wellbeing. She answered at the third ring. "Lauren? Hey, it's me," I said, my words fast.

"Bells? Oh hi!" Lauren exclaimed, and I eyed Edward. _Something's wrong_ I told him in thought, and he took a step closer to me. "I've been meaning to call you," she said. I heard her rummage around wherever she was; I guessed that the rest of the Cullens could as well. The stress in her voice was almost palpable.

"What's wrong? I asked on instinct. To my knowledge there were only two things that could stress Lauren out like this: calories, and not being able to meet deadlines. I couldn't know about the first, though I'm pretty sure this didn't warrant for Edward's concern for her, and I knew for a fact there were no deadlines for her to meet either.

"It's... Okay Bella, just don't freak out 'kay?" In my personal experience, statements that began with those words, were never the forebodes of _good_ news. Luckily for Lauren, freaking out was not my way of reacting to unpleasant news. That would be what I was currently experiencing thanks to Alice and Edward: paralyzing fear. "There was uhm... someone broke into your apartment."

From the corner of my eye I saw Esme and Carlisle taking a few steps closer to us. "Are you there now?" I ran a hand through my hair, and started chewing my bottom lip nervously. My voice was taut with tension. Edward's strong hold on my shoulders tightened. So okay, someone broke into my apartment; this wasn't the worst thing imaginable. Even if they took the flat-screen and the CD-player, all of that could be replaced.

"Yeah, I was hoping to clean some stuff up," she said guiltily, as if it was her fault that they had broken into my apartment.

"Tell her to get home," Edward whispered, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, but not loud enough so it would reach Lauren's human ears. What was going on? What had Alice seen that had Edward so nervous?

"Lauren, don't worry about that okay?" I tried to sound calm and convincing, but I wasn't sure I was pulling that off. I had the tendency to lose myself in the moment when I was worrying about someone else's wellbeing. "I want you to go home," I said very specifically.

"But..." she protested.

"No buts!" I almost shouted, but I held back. Lauren didn't need to be shouted at; she had been nothing but kind to me and she didn't deserve whatever I had brought upon her. I realised only then that if Alice saw Lauren's future, it was because one of us had crossed paths with her. And who else but me? "You take care of me well enough, and I'm not going to need the apartment anymore."

Emmett scraped his throat loudly, and I threw him a vicious scowl. Edward's reaction to his brother was the same. I only just caught Rosalie nudging him in the ribs. I could kiss her for putting him into his place; I didn't need any clever remarks right now. "What do you mean?" Lauren asked.

"I'm moving in with the Cullens," I tried to sound happy, and the biggest part of me was, but my concern for Lauren was overshadowing most of it. If only I had some strange power of persuasion over her, if only I had taken the time to get to know her better so that I could predict what she would do.

"You're _what_?" she asked, her voice laden with surprise and curiosity. She was convinced to her core that I would end up alone and miserable; to be honest, before meeting Edward I had thought the same thing.

"Just... it doesn't matter okay?" it took me all my willpower not to crush the cellphone in my hand. I prayed to God she would listen to me. "We're coming to visit anyway," I said quickly. Was that even the right thing to do? If Lauren got hurt because one of us crossed her path in the future, wasn't it best to stay right here? "We'll be there in a day or so. Please Lauren, for me, just go home and get some rest."

"Okay," she said; maybe my promised visit was what convinced her so quickly. "See you soon," she ended the call. I closed the phone carefully and handed it to Jasper before freaking out completely; I thought it best not to wreck any of my new family's property.

"Now can someone please tell me why I just did that?" I said to no one in particular.

"Someone broke into your apartment," Edward said, deep in thought. Yes, admittedly, it was a little strange that someone would break into the only apartment located in some abandoned industrial complex, but if they had found out I lived there, me _the artist_, then who knows what kind of valuables they were hoping to find. My material life didn't matter to me.

"Who cares about that when it's clear you're worrying about Lauren's _life_?" I asked and looked up into his eyes. "That's more important to me than anything in that flat. There's nothing there I can't do without." Edward still didn't answer me.

"Alice?" he asked his sister.

"Nothing's changed yet," she shook her head, worry still visible in her eyes, reflected back in all the other eyes around us. "We better get down there," she was moving before even finishing the statement. Before I knew what was going on, Edward took me by the hand and dragged me upstairs to my studio.

"To Phoenix?" I asked.

"We were going to visit anyway," he said, his back to me.

"That's not funny!" I yelled, and I realised that everyone else in the house stopped moving. I knew he was only worried about me, and it was sweet, but _I_ didn't need more worry while I was still in the process of completely losing it.

"I know," he closed the distance between us and hugged his arms around me tightly. "I'm sorry, love," he kissed my hair and then my forehead. "But until we get there, there's nothing more we can do," he looked down into my eyes. "So pack some things, and we'll be off. Carlisle, Jasper and Alice are going with us."

When he didn't see me move, he started packing some things himself. Despite his convincing tone, I couldn't will myself to move. My legs felt heavy, my heart felt heavy. If I had been able to cry, I would have. Edward caught my distress, again. "Isn't it better we stay here? If this is my fault..." I said.

"You're not going to hurt her, Bella," his voice was still as soft as ever. Unlike me, Edward apparently knew how to put things into perspective in stressful situations such as this, which was good, because I clearly wasn't. "But someone else is." Why would anyone want to hurt Lauren? She might not have been _my_ best friend, but I could imagine she had a great many others. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

"I can't even... what if..." I shook my head. What if something did happen to her? What if Alice's vision showed her dead? What if we were too late to save her? As much as I never allowed myself to get close to Lauren – that had really just been for her own good – I did care for her.

"Shhh," Edward's arms were around me again immediately. Part of me desperately wanted to ask him what he knew, what Alice had seen, but I knew his silence was a way of protecting me.

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next chapter: Lauren


	19. Lauren

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**Chapter Nineteen: LAUREN  
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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Carlisle, Lauren (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes:** same drill as before, review = preview. love how you were all speculating about what's about to happen. here's to hoping i don't disappoint! thank you to all my wonderful readers, and as always special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**

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_(Bella POV)_

We took two cars, Carlisle driving the one Edward and I were in, Alice and Jasper in the other car. It was raining as we left Forks, but never in my life had I felt like I was driving towards a greyer fate than I was now. Lauren occupied my every thought, and I guessed that Edward had noticed; he hadn't let go of me since he realised I might actually have a mental breakdown. I was probably the only vampire capable of that.

"Carlisle's coming because he's a doctor, right?" I asked, still trying to pry for pieces of Alice's vision. I didn't need the whole truth; if we were able to stop it I would never need to know. Another part of me still needed to know what to expect, just in case.

Edward looked at me, and I looked back; we were both in the backseat of the car. I knew Carlisle was awaiting Edward's answer as well. Alice had undoubtedly filled him in on what to expect. "Just as a precaution. It's very possible that Lauren won't need any medical assistance," but I also knew that Alice's vision had only changed location; Lauren was still in danger.

"And if she does?" I asked frightfully.

"You won't hurt her," he almost whispered, but his voice was thick with conviction. Right, that was probably one of the reasons Jasper had decided to come along, to make sure I didn't kill anyone on our way there and upon arriving at our destination. I snuggled closer to Edward on the backseat, and threw my legs across his lap; I knew he wouldn't object. I just really needed him to hold me.

I remembered the day Jasper had driven me to Forks vividly. Part of me felt like I was returning to Phoenix now with my biggest prize; the love of my life. No thought could cheer me up though, so I stopped trying.

We passed the rest of the ride in silence.

We arrived at night, and I was grateful we didn't have to hide in the cars for fear that people would see our sparkling skins; there was hardly ever a sunless day in Phoenix. "I should go in first," I said determinately, standing outside of Lauren's apartment building. There were very few people out on the streets at this hour, but Edward had his arms around me to be safe; I had asked him to.

"No, that could be too dangerous," Jasper said.

"She doesn't know any of you," I insisted, "and she's expecting me," I'm pretty sure I sounded absolutely certain about this. Still, I caught Jasper and Edward exchanging meaningful looks, even though Edward was behind me. They were not going up there without me. "Let me rephrase. You're welcome to hold my hand all the way up there, but there is no way in hell that I'm staying down here!"

"The lady has spoken." I let out a sigh of relief when Carlisle spoke. "Let's go," he said, holding his doctor's kit in one hand. I shivered involuntarily.

We made our way up the stairs together, Edward holding my hand tightly, his arms back around me from the moment we reached Lauren's front door. She lived in a very nice neighbourhood; she could easily afford it with what I paid her.

A scent hit us all at once. It made me sick to my stomach, almost making me dizzy, because I recognized it immediately, even though I had never smelled it as a vampire.

"Do you smell that?" Edward asked Jasper, fear in his voice.

"Vampire," Jasper growled, but they all knew that whoever it was had already left. The scent wasn't strong enough for him to still be there.

_James_ I thought, loudly; it was like my mind was screaming the name out to me and it was echoing back. Edward however, took too long to react to it. I broke free from his arms abruptly and broke through Lauren's front door all in the blink of an eye.

What I found there, had me lurching back immediately.

Lauren was lying on the floor, blood pooling around her body. "Lauren!" I cringed away from her lifeless body, the blood was making my head spin, reaching way down deep within to something primal I had been fighting successfully for the past month. Two pairs of arms grabbed me from behind when my breathing grew frenzied, Jasper and Edward both needing all their strength to keep me back.

Alice appeared in front of me, fully prepared to hold me back as well. So this is what she had seen.

"Bella?" Lauren's voice sounded so weak. Some strange part of me wanted to hold her, cradle her in my arms so badly. Why? Why was she suddenly so dear to me? I realised it was the smell of her sweet blood, the unsteady pulse that still managed to rip through her body even now. "Bella..."

I couldn't look at her; I squeezed my eyes shut and stopped breathing, steadying myself against Edward's solid chest. I couldn't break now. Not only would it destroy my future with the Cullens, I would be killing the one person who was always been there for me after I had turned. She was too young, too beautiful, too human.

"Is she..." I hesitated to ask when I heard Carlisle kneel down by Lauren's side; I heard the quiet snap of his briefcase opening. "Did he bite her?" I added fearfully. He was capable of it, James, I knew that for a fact.

"James?" Edward asked, but all my attention was directed towards Lauren and Carlisle. So much blood. My head was reeling. "I have to get you out of here." Edward caught my distress, and wrapped his arms around me tightly, signalling Jasper to come stand in front of me. My eyes never once left Lauren.

"She's lost a lot of blood," Carlisle said, and grabbed for his belt to make a tourniquet for Lauren's arm; it was gushing blood, so much blood. "But no, it doesn't appear he bit her."

A hiss rippled through me when Edward pulled me away from the scene, and I struggled harder. Alice grabbed my arm when it dislodged from Edward's iron hold, and helped him push me out of the apartment. It physically hurt to put distance between me and the blood.

---

_(Edward POV)_

Bella proved too strong for me to handle alone. I couldn't blame her; Lauren's blood might not have had the best taste due to her eating habits, but the call was strong enough to reawaken her thirst for human blood. She wasn't strong enough to resist yet, even though her methods were remarkable; she closed her eyes and held her breath, pushing into me to make sure I had her.

"We have to get her to a hospital," Carlisle called from the apartment, and Alice joined him there again. This left me and Jasper to take care of Bella.

"Let me go," she said, her breathing still too deep for me to even consider that. She was thinking of nothing but draining Lauren dry, interspersed with all kinds of unholy thoughts about James; she was thinking of ripping him apart. Strange how she knew how to kill a vampire. "I have to go with her," she begged desperately, but in Jasper's mind I could see her eyes were still frenzied.

"No," Jasper said strongly, and led us down the stairs, making sure there was plenty of distance between Bella and Lauren.

"She needs me!" Bella shouted, but she let me push her out of the building.

"Bella, he's right," I said, hoping that maybe my voice could make her see some reason, even though I knew just how irrational her thinking was right now. I also knew that Jasper was fighting his thirst, but his concern for all our wellbeing was stronger. "You can't go with her."

"I NEED her," she pulled my arms tightly and I staggered forward, Jasper catching the blow. Bella was now cornered between the both of us. I felt her relax in my arms; she must have realised she was no match for the both of us.

"You had a hard enough time not going for her throat, Bella," I felt grateful for Jasper giving her the cold hard truth; he knew I didn't want to talk to Bella like that. "What do you think a hospital will do to you?" I couldn't be sure, but I'm almost sure I saw Jasper shiver. He was doing everything he could get out of his gift to use on Bella, but even then it was difficult.

A horrific image ran through Bella's mind then, a hospital scene, people on the floor and blood everywhere. I knew it was a memory; I'd seen it before. It was the day she had woken up as a newborn. Bella would do everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen again. She went slack in my arms and stood back against my chest. Jasper had gotten through to her.

"She's in good hands," I whispered into her ear and held on to her, tightly.

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next chapter: Stolen


	20. Stolen

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**Chapter Twenty: STOLEN  
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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes: ** was being a bit annoying yesterday when it wouldn't let me upload, but all is well again. you know what to do, read & review = preview. you guys are awesome, hope you enjoy. special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**

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_(Bella POV)_

I still hadn't calmed down, even after the ambulance had picked up Lauren and Carlisle; he had insisted that Alice and Jasper stayed with me as well, just in case. My breathing hadn't come down one bit, the fire in my throat had never burned so fierce. Edward didn't leave my side, and Jasper never once lost sight of me, no matter how often Alice told him there were no bloodbaths in my immediate future.

I'd decided that some familiar surroundings might help get my mind of things, besides Edward that is; his hands on my face and his eyes were a pretty good distraction. We drove to the other side of town, to the abandoned industrial complex I had once called my home. The windows to the flat were all open when we arrived, which was weird. Knowing Lauren, she would have surely closed them before heading home.

I looked around curiously, it seemed that every drawer, cupboard and closet had been turned upside down, all my belongings scattered on the floor, broken, mangled or torn beyond recognition. I knew everything there of course, and it was then that something odd caught my attention. "What is it?" Jasper asked, no doubt feeling my anxiety.

"There's..." I started, but looked around the flat again just to make sure I was seeing it right.

"Bella, what is it?" Edward squeezed my hand, worry evident in his voice. I walked with him to the middle of the living room.

"There's nothing missing," I frowned, and once again, had to check. It seemed odd that they had taken the time to go through all my stuff, and then not take anything. Though admittedly, I wasn't all that interesting.

"Are you sure?" Jasper took a step closer warily.

"I'm not a material girl, Jasper. They messed the place up good, but there's nothing..." I turned around towards the living area, seeing how the flat-screen TV lay smashed to pieces on the floor. On the wall above where the TV used to stand, there was an empty void of blank wall. "Oh no," I breathed.

"Your painting," Edward realised just like me that there was something vital missing there. The painting of the girl. They stole my painting? A painting that would hold no interest whatsoever for any human being, simply because they couldn't distinguish all the different brushstrokes? Why would they? Even if it was probably priceless on the black market, it made no sense. I knew I was getting closer to some sort of truth, but I couldn't put my finger on it just yet.

"Is it of any value?" Alice asked curiously.

"It's an original Isabella Swan, if that means anything at all," I chuckled, but it didn't reach my heart. It wasn't funny. They took my painting, one that I had thrown out once, yes, but it was just about the only thing in this apartment that held _any_ value to me. And they stole it. "It's _the_ original Isabella Swan. But I don't see how they would take that and leave all the rest."

"You're right, it's almost like the place was ransacked on purpose," Jasper said as he examined my apartment again. "To make it look like a break-in."

"Bella. Do you think..." Edward came to the same realisation I did in that instant. It had to be. It couldn't be anyone else, that would be too big a coincidence. The vampire in Lauren's apartment, the painting that got stolen.

"James," I nodded. The open windows suddenly made sense as well; it was to get rid of his scent, to make sure no one would track him. Did that mean he knew I was with the Cullens? Did James fear one of the _Cullens_ would follow after him? "Maybe. He's a very good tracker. It's possible that he followed Lauren's scent to her apartment."

---

_(Edward POV) _

_James?_ Jasper's thoughts reached out to me. He was worried, for Bella, for Alice, for all of us. He probably understood Bella's distress even better than I did right now. _James_. I felt like he was jettisoning himself in our lives over and over again, coming between us. What could he possibly want from her now? Had he not done enough to her? Hurt her enough?

"The vampire you smelled in Lauren's apartment," I said, and Bella looked up at me. Then she looked at Jasper, and I guessed she understood that I was replying to one of Jasper's thoughts. "He's probably the one who turned her." Bella didn't look at any of us again.

_She knew? Of course, that's why she went for the door. Odd, she was more worried about Lauren's wellbeing at the hands of James than the possibility that she might lose control. _Jasper's thoughts went on along the same track, but his reasoning seemed correct. We were all silent for long moments, thinking things through.

_If James stole the painting..._ Alice thought.

_It's not safe here_ Jasper's thoughts fell in line with Alice's, and I realised they were both very right. Something was not right, James was being too careful, probably because he knew Bella had us on her side now. Maybe he had even been listening in on Lauren when Bella called her this morning. Was he planning to come after her? Was he doing all this to see how we would react?

"We have to get you back to Forks," I said to Bella. One thing was certain; we didn't know Phoenix as we did Forks, and there were too many people around to witness if anything did go wrong. The forests in Forks, those we knew like the back of our hands.

"What? Why?" Bella's eyes went wide in question. I knew she didn't like the idea of leaving Phoenix now that Lauren was in such bad shape, but we all knew she wouldn't be able to see her either way. Lauren would probably have to spend several days in the hospital. And if James was still around, it was too dangerous for any of us to linger.

"He didn't attack Lauren to feed, or to turn her," I explained and put my hands on her shoulders. I hoped I was getting through to her; for once I hoped that her feeling of self-preservation would be stronger than her selfless need to please others. "That was never his intention."

"Me," realisation dawned in her eyes, and fear for things I couldn't even begin to understand. It was clear that James hurt her in more ways than she had already admitted to me. "Oh my God, he was looking for me," she stared questioningly at Jasper, who only stared back hard. I wish he would relax, for Bella's sake. "This was all my fault," she looked down then, guilt washing over her.

"We have to get you back home," Alice reiterated.

"And lead him straight to Forks?" Bella asked harshly, and started shaking her head. I should have known she would find a way to worry about the humans there, who she had never even met. "No, I can't do that."

"We're stronger there, we know the territory," I put my hands on Bella's face and looked at her intensely. I wasn't going to let anything happen to her. "Alice will see him coming long before he arrives, and who knows, with any luck the wolves will get him."

"No they won't," Bella's eyes were already laden with defeat, like James had somehow already won, and even though I realised fully well she knew him better than I did, I had to disagree. She needed to know that he wasn't stronger than her. "James made hunting them one of his favourite sports."

"I told you, those were werewolves. The Quileute pack will be much more than he can handle," I said, still looking down in her eyes. Werewolves rarely ever hunted in packs, they were much too erratic for that. The shape shifters however, knew each other's thoughts no matter how far they spread; it made protecting the reservation far easier.

I didn't cherish the thought of letting the wolves fight our battles for us, but if James trespassed on their lands, there'd be little we could do to stop them. "Trust me Bella, I won't let anything happen to you. I won't let him hurt you. Not again," I said softly. Part of her was still not reassured, but I knew I could keep her safe. I had to.

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next chapter: The Past Comes a'Calling (1)


	21. The Past Comes a'Calling: part 1

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**Chapter Twenty-One: THE PAST COMES A'CALLING (1)  
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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Emmett, Carlisle, Lauren (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes: **and the plot thickens! hope you all like. there's a lot of information in this chapter. thanks for your lovely comments. super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**

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_(Bella POV)_

Esme was the first to throw her arms around me when I entered the house. "How are you feeling my dear?" she asked, but didn't give me any time to answer. "That must have been awful for you, oh my dear, seeing your friend like that and not being able to do anything. If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all, just ask me."

I wanted to tell her I was okay, that she didn't need to worry so much, and that Lauren was in the capable hands of her husband, but I knew that was a futile thing to say to Esme. She was too much of a mother hen to hear that; she would be worried about me no matter what. "I think it's best if I just stay... busy," I said, and nodded, mostly to myself.

"I'm sure we can manage that," she gave me a loving smile, and threw her arm around me, pulling me into the living room with her. I felt safe again, being at home, despite the fact that I now knew that James was looking for me. Damn him for going after Lauren. It should have been me, he should have found me. But the thought of James finding me scared me just as much as him almost having killed Lauren.

"You're safe here, Bella," Jasper constantly assured me when he felt such fears touch my heart. Sometimes he only told Edward, so that he would be there to help me. I didn't know what I'd do without Edward or the rest of my new family.

"Don't worry, love," Edward would tell me and stroke my cheek. Sometimes we'd spend hours just lying on the sofa, staring into each other's eyes; his eyes made it impossible for me to even consider thinking about James. Other times he'd just be there for me, while I talked to Esme or any of the other Cullens; but he never left my side. Not once.

Emmett beat me at chess for the first time since I'd joined the Cullens, and he didn't hesitate to rub it in. Edward had told him to stop, but I didn't mind; at least someone was treating me like a normal person, not someone who could break at any given moment. "Bro relax, my little sister doesn't mind, do you Bella?" Emmett laughed, and he threw an arm around me as he pulled me closer. I only smiled up at him in response.

"You'll tell me when this fool starts bugging you, right?" Edward noticed my ease quickly, and stopped calling Emmett on his behaviour. Anything to keep me calm.

Rosalie and Alice started designing the wardrobe they had promised me, so that kept me pretty busy too. They could probably have just guessed my sizes with their keen eye for detail, but they still had me modelling for every outfit. They didn't allow Edward to watch as they put pins and needles in the dresses; he only got to see the finished results. Now _those_ were true sisters.

Two days went by before Carlisle called the house for an update. Edward handed the phone over to me immediately. "Carlisle, how is she?" was my first question, the most important question, the only one that mattered. Lauren had to be fine; otherwise I would never forgive myself.

"She'd lost a lot of blood, but we got there in time Bella," Carlisle's soothing voice calmed me down at once. I felt Edward behind me, and his hands were on my shoulders quickly. "She'll be fine. She's already up and asking for you," I closed my eyes to the sound of that. Lauren was going to be fine. _Thank God_.

"Can I...?" I asked carefully. Edward kissed my hair, and moved away from me. I guessed he wanted to give me the privacy. I looked back at him gratefully, and he smiled softly before disappearing down to the basement.

"Of course. Hang on," Carlisle said and I heard his footsteps on the hospital's linoleum floor. I took the time to move into the kitchen, probably still not out of earshot of any of the Cullens, but Edward had already asked them to give me some privacy.

"Bella?" I heard Lauren's voice, frail and broken up, probably still groggy from any drugs she'd been giving.

"Lauren, I'm so sorry about all this," I blurted out first chance I got. I needed her to know just how sorry I was for everything that had happened. If only it hadn't been for me.

"You mean for saving me?" Lauren asked and her voice brightened. "Dr Cullen said you probably saved my life by acting so soon. It's me that owes you, Bells." For the first time I didn't mind the nickname; in fact, my dad used to call me Bells as well. It was nice to hear it again from time to time.

"Please, don't say that," I put a hand on my forehead. Why on earth was she thanking me? I realised very soon however, that there was no way Lauren could ever grasp what sort of danger I had put her in. "It's me that got you into this mess in the first place. James was after me."

There was a silence on the other end of the line.

"Are you sure you're okay Lauren? I was just... God, I wish I could be there. But..." I was about to make up some excuse, about being scared to death of hospitals or something, but Lauren interrupted me.

"I know Bells, it's too big of a temptation for you."

I stopped breathing.

"Excuse me?" I was pretty sure I squeaked.

"Look I know, okay?" Lauren's voice sounded far away and so close-by; I didn't believe what I was hearing. "Or, I don't _know_, but I suspected. The late night outings, the proximity rules." She knew? She knew I was a vampire? How long? _How_?

"You know that I'm...?" I couldn't say it. What if I was dreaming up this entire conversation? What if she hadn't come to the conclusion that I was a vampire, but something far more human? Right there though, I couldn't think of anything else. "And you're okay with that?" I asked.

"What I know it that you're a brilliant artist," she said. She was trying to make me feel better again. It wasn't her job to do that; she didn't have to comfort me. It should be the other way around. "And I'm sorry, Bells, I'm so sorry. Whatever this guy did to you I hope he pays big," she sounded just as angry towards James as I was feeling right now. "He sounded like such a creep."

I shook my head, completely out of it. _James_. My blood boiled in my veins just thinking about him, about his hands on her, the fear he put her through. There was no way she was feeling alright. How could James do that to her? To me? After everything he had put me through already. I didn't deserve this, did I?

"He _talked_ to you?" my voice was reaching new levels of distress. I was sure Edward had already picked up on it by now; in fact it surprised me he hadn't joined me again already. I knew some of the Cullens were around, I could hear them in the living room. Was Jasper not worried about me? Was Edward not picking up on my distress? Maybe they truly thought I could handle this by myself.

"He wanted to know where you were, though something told me that didn't really matter either way," she said. I'd never known she was that perceptive. James was a tracker, it wouldn't have mattered if she'd told him either way. "Thing is, Bells, there are more things I've been keeping from you. I'd seen that guy once before."

This time I couldn't even force any air from my lungs; there was none left.

My mind reeled, I couldn't think straight anymore.

"Bella," Edward was by my side then, like an answer to my prayers. I needed him, I was completely frozen. He took my hand and put one of his on my back, the only real support he could give me right then. Lauren knew I was a vampire, and she had seen James before. Where?

"It was before we met," she said, and I pressed the phone to my ear more tightly, even though there was no need. "It was late at night, but I saw them very clearly. They were so beautiful and perfect in every way," _vampires_; she'd seen James with another vampire. It could only be one other.

"James and Victoria. You saw them..." I gasped, and Edward put one of his arms around my waist. Maybe he thought I was going to faint or something; if I had been any less of a vampire I might have already done just that.

"That's not all, Bella," she said. She sounded guilty, like she should have told me years ago. I honestly didn't know how I would have reacted five years ago. There was more? What could she possibly tell me now that could shock me even more? "They had a child with them, the most beautiful child you can possibly imagine. The same child I saw on that painting I dug out of the trash. Why do you think I did that? She was _so_ beautiful, I had to get to know you. _Know_ more."

"A girl?" _a girl_. James and Victoria with a baby girl. A shiver ran up my spine, and my breathing deepened, my brain making connections that didn't reach my conscious mind yet. I felt Edward's gaze burning into me, but I couldn't produce any sort of sound.

The cellphone in my hand crumpled into dust with one squeeze of my hand.

I looked up at Edward, my eyes probably riddled with question marks over things I didn't even understand myself. "I need some air," I forced out the words strenuously, not even realising how very _human_ that sounded. He nodded, and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. _Don't worry, I'll be fine_ I tried to soothe him, but I could tell he was everything but assured by my behaviour.

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next chapter: the past comes a'calling (2)


	22. The Past Comes a'Calling: part 2

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**Chapter Twenty-Two: THE PAST COMES A'CALLING (2)  
**

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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Carlisle (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes: **update! yay! thanks for your lovely comments. super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**

* * *

**

_(Bella POV)_

Edward was only inches behind me when I entered the living room. I knew he had questions, and I could think of only one reason he wasn't asking them. _James_. God, how sick I was of keeping him a mental construction I could never put into words. How I hated him with every fibre of my being. What a gentleman my Edward was for staying silent. No more though. It was time Edward knew.

I tried my best to get my feet to carry me to my studio, where I was hoping to find some refuge. I didn't succeed; I got stopped when I met Alice, Jasper and Carlisle in the living room. They were trying to hang up the painting Carlisle and Esme had bought of me. _The Woman With Child_. "We've been looking for a place to put it," Alice closed the distance between her and me, and took me by the arm. "What do you think?" she asked me.

Edward stayed remarkably silent.

It had been years since I had looked at the painting properly. The second painting I had ever created, less dear to me than the little girl that got stolen away from me, but still, it held some kind of connection to my past. A connection I didn't understand myself. Looking at it now, five years later, it held new mysteries for me.

The baby was as perfect as ever. Who was this child? Was it me? I had blurry memories of my mother, but I knew without a doubt her hair was the same colour as mine. The woman on the painting didn't have brown hair; so who was she really? I felt like it was on the tip of my tongue – such a human thing to feel – but I couldn't pin it down.

I had never been able to fill up the woman's face; it was completely blank. But her hair, those red fiery curls surrounding her. "Victoria," I whispered, four pairs of golden-brown eyes suddenly turning to me. The word fell from my lips as if it was a revelation. Why hadn't this occurred to me before? Of course this was Victoria, who else could it possibly be? And she was holding a baby girl. _My_...

I told myself I couldn't do this here, I couldn't start pacing the room right here and now because the Cullens would know something was wrong. Not that they had possibly been able to miss that conversation. Or my current predicament.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice squeezed my shoulder and looked at me.

"Alice..." Edward warned, still behind me.

"Yeah. I just..." I cast down my eyes quickly, willing my eyes away from my own painting, "I need some time, okay?" I slowly backed away towards Edward, Alice reluctantly letting me go. "And I would appreciate it that anyone capable of affecting my feelings just... _doesn't_. Please?" I looked at Jasper specifically.

"As you wish Bella," Jasper answered in that soft voice of his. I gave him a soft smile.

"Of course," Carlisle agreed, "We respect each other's privacy as much as we can here." He held a hand out to Alice, signalling her to come towards him. He probably knew that Alice would need some persuasion before she was convinced that she needed to stay away from me for a while.

"But Bella, what's...?" she insisted, a frown colouring her features. Did this mean I hadn't decided on my course of action yet? She seemed genuinely concerned.

"Alice, that means you too," Carlisle interrupted her, compassion shining through in his eyes. It broke my heart to do this to them, especially after they had showed me nothing but love and caring and consideration. "Bella has been through a lot these past few days. If it's her wish to deal with this alone, we will honour that."

"For now," Alice seemed to be taking this personally. Carlisle took a careful step towards her, as did Jasper; I could only guess the range of emotions he was currently getting from me. "Okay okay!" Alice threw her hands up in surrender. "I'm going," and as soon as she'd spoken the words, she was up the stairs, up in her room. No doubt sulking.

I turned to Edward then, only vaguely noticing that slowly Jasper was backing out of the room, along with Carlisle. "I need time to think," I looked up at him. He knew immediately what that meant; I needed to lie down, and close my eyes. He'd witnessed my pretend-sleeping before.

"Would you mind if I join you?" he asked softly, but carefully. I couldn't turn him down, that would break my heart, and I knew it would break his. The offer was impossible for me to decline. I needed him by my side if I was going to tell him, or rather, _show him_ my past.

I only took his hand in response, and he looked down to where our hands were locked together; he smiled softly. "I know just the place where we can be alone," he said, and looked up at me again. We walked hand in hand at human pace; he led me outside to a place in the forest, and it was clear to me he had been there many times before. It was a little meadow, otherwise enclosed by trees. It was perfect.

I needed the time it took us to get there to convince myself that this was the right thing to do for me; maybe that was why Alice hadn't seen this future yet, I'd only just decided. If I didn't rearrange my thoughts now, I'd be of no use to any of them and I would continue to worry that Edward took my silence about James for heartbreak. I couldn't do that to him, it wasn't fair after all the love, trust and affection he had shown me.

We lay down in the grass, surrounded by blue flowers and the smell of moss. And I closed my eyes.

_Edward?_ I reached out to him in thought.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice soft and calm. He understood this was what I needed.

_I think it's time I tell you exactly what happened between James and me._

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next chapter: show and tell (1)


	23. Show and Tell: part 1

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**Chapter Twenty-Three: SHOW AND TELL (1)  
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**sum****mary:** _Bella Swan is not only an artist living of her art; she's also a vampire. Dr Cullen and his wife request to meet her, offering to become her patrons and she's confronted by a lifestyle she never would have considered, but doesn't sound that unappealing either. When she eventually meets Edward Cullen, will she give love a chance, or will her past with James stand between them?_

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, James (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

**author's notes: **by popular demand, and early update! you will regret ever asking me for this though! love to all of you for leaving me comments, keep them coming, they make me HAPPY! super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

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_(Edward POV)_

I didn't know what to think when Bella first told me she'd show me what happened between James and her. I wasn't even sure I wanted to see; I only really needed her to _tell_ me. I guessed it was easier for her this way, to just show me and maybe add her own comments. Something about her conversation with Lauren had deeply shocked her. I could only imagine what it must feel like to discover that the person you'd known for five years, knew your most intimate secret. Bella had always been scared that Lauren would find out and now it turned out she knew all along.

I hadn't understood everything. I knew who James and Victoria were now, but a child? What would two vampires be doing with a child? A violent ripple ran through me when Bella had moved into the living room. I wanted to be there for her, but my mind was preoccupied. Had they created an immortal child? Why? Every vampire out there knew it was forbidden, and much too dangerous. Was this the child that Bella had depicted on the painting in her flat? And what did it have to do with her in the first place?

_Are they worried?_ Bella asked in thought; I knew she was talking about the rest of the family. I turned my head to her, but her eyes were still closed. I smiled to myself; she had such peculiar ways of dealing with things. Nevertheless, I was grateful that she had allowed me to share this moment with her.

"Alice is not pleased with you right now, but don't worry, she'll come around," I laughed, trying to picture Alice sitting in her room, sulking over the fact that she wasn't in on this. "She's told the others when we'll be joining them again. The rest of them just want to give you time and space."

_Thank you _I heard Bella's calm voice in my head. It did seem that this non-sleeping routine she had developed eased her, calmed her down to the point where she could think things through more clearly. I had to admit, it was fascinating.

"What for?" I asked. She should have realised that I would be there no matter what. I wasn't sure how I would have reacted if she'd asked me to stay away as well.

_For being here for me_ came her answer.

"Where else would I be?" I said, and I heard the sound of a smile forming across her lips.

_This won't be easy for you_ she told me, her tone growing serious again. I wished I could have laughed; she was being selfless again, putting my feelings before hers. This wouldn't be easy for me, that's true, but this would be far worse for her to remember.

"If this is what you need, I won't question that," I said. Dealing with the past and knowing it was there, was one thing, actively facing it was something entirely different. I hoped _she _would be able to get through this.

_Here goes_ Bella said carefully, and I started praying to God that after seeing this I wouldn't want to run straight to Phoenix and separate James' head from his torso. That was the last thing Bella needed from me right now.

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_The Phoenix sky was getting darker by the minute; Bella was making her way home from art class. Normally she would be home already, helping her mom make dinner, but her art teacher wanted to talk to her about her work. Apparently she wasn't in touch with her subject enough; she didn't interpret enough. Bella hadn't liked the conversation one bit; she knew she hadn't found her direction yet, but that took time. _

_She was still going over the conversation in her head while she walked to the bus stop; she was so preoccupied that she hadn't seen the man coming from the other side. She bumped into him hard, if she hadn't known any better she could have sworn his shoulder was solid rock. The blow took her completely by surprise, so much that she dropped her binder, and some of her drawings spilled out._

_"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized nonetheless. She'd been preoccupied; if she hadn't she'd probably been able to avoid him. It was only polite that she apologized._

_"Here, let me help you," his voice took her by surprise as well. Bella's eyes snapped up towards the strange man. When she did, her eyes widened in surprise. The man in front of her was... well, he was beautiful. His face was smooth, and his eyes were a strange dark blue she had never seen before. His blond hair was smoothed back in a ponytail. He was probably one of the most good-looking men she had ever seen._

_"Thanks," Bella said when he handed back her binder, all sketches back in place. She couldn't take her eyes off him._

_"Your drawings are very good," he said softly, his voice a gentle caress on the wind. He wasn't as muscled as she'd expected either. If the blow she took from him had been any harder, she'd be bruising; but nothing about his physique gave away that much strength. He could very well be a model or something._

_"I'm not that good," she said humbly, pushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. Was it her or was he flirting with her? No one had ever flirted with her like that. Part of her screamed to get away, this could easily be some kind of psycho, but there were enough people around to hear her screaming if she did._

_"Modesty suits you," he smiled softly, Bella's eyes focusing on the quirk his mouth made when he did. "What's your name, beautiful?" his voice still soft, calm, but in no way threatening. In fact, it was the exact opposite, it was pulling her in. Into what, she didn't know._

_"Bella," she stuttered. She was starting to lose coherency. Something about this guy was drawing her in, and she didn't even know his name yet. It felt like some kind of chemical reaction inside her body._

_"Short for Isabella I presume," he said, and she frowned. How could he possibly know that? There were people whose name was Bella without it being short for anything. "You sign your drawings with it," he explained when he picked up on her confusion._

_"Oh," she laughed and cast down her eyes, hugging her binder closer to her body. She suddenly felt very self-conscious, scrutinized beneath his gaze. "Yes. I prefer Bella though," she added shyly._

_"It's nice to meet you, Bella. I'm James."_

---

_(Edward POV)_

_Go ahead. Say it._ Bella said, the memory fading into the background, until there was once again only silence in her mind. The memory itself wasn't all too bad, but knowing that was the first time they'd met, that after that initial meeting he had weaselled his way into her life under the pretence of loving her sickened me.

"Say what?" I asked. What did she want me to say? She didn't do anything wrong; there was nothing else she could have done, not in her human state. Vampires just had that effect on humans, and James probably knew that all too well.

_What an idiot I was for believing anything he said_.

"You know I can't say that," I said, and took her hand into mine. I really wanted her in my arms, closer, safer, but I knew this wasn't all she had to show me regarding James. This had only been the beginning, he hadn't hurt her yet. I couldn't even begin to imagine exactly how he had hurt her. "None of it was your fault."

"I should have run the moment he told me what he was," she said aloud this time, and I glanced over to her to see her eyes open for the first time since she lay down.

"He told you he was a vampire?" I frowned. He told her just like that? All her human instincts should have told her to run, to get away from the predator out to get her. What had James hoped to gain from her trust? From her love?

"He said..." Bella hesitated. I gave her hand a light squeeze, needing all the strength left in me not to pick her up into my arms and take her away from all of this. "He told me he loved me," a deep sorrow sounded through when she said it, maybe because she now knew it had never been anything like love. "He told me to walk away while I could, but I... I wasn't strong enough."

"Don't say that, love," I whispered. "Never say that."

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next chapter: show and tell (2)


	24. Show and Tell: part 2

**author's notes: **sorry for the wait my wonderful readers, real life and other stories have been occupying my brain! anyway, i hope you enjoy the new chapter, a lot of love and care went in it. i promise that the next chapter will conclude Bella's mental exploits and she'll go kick James' ass (with some extra help of course). super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE, and all you wonderful commenters!

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, James (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 24:** show and tell (2)

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_"Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely adorable when you're concentrating?" James appeared behind her before she had even registered his presence. He always did that, crept up before she even had the time to realise they were in the same room together._

_"Is that what you call it?" Bella turned to him and frowned. He had been flirting with her since they met, but she couldn't make sense of it. Why would a guy like him, with his good looks, ever be interested in a girl that was as plain-looking as her?_

_"Why?" he tilted his head. He did that a lot, like she was some curious new creature he had only just discovered. In a way she probably was, because he hadn't been human for quite some time now. He'd told her being together could be dangerous, and that he would walk away if she asked him too. But they both knew that would never happen. _

_"That was my broody face," she said, and looked back at her sketch. The colours were too bright and everything was out of proportion. No doubt all points her art teacher would bring up during their next class. "I suck."_

_"It's not bad," he stood behind her then, and put his hands on her shoulders. It still amazed her how cold he felt, even through the fabric of her clothing. She didn't care though; she might not be the biggest fan of cold and rain, but the sun wasn't exactly her friend either, she was far too pale for that. A shiver ran up her spine, not because she was getting cold, but because of his touch, electrifying her skin._

_"No, it's pretty much a disaster," she cleared her throat before completely losing herself and turned in his arms. His smell, sweet and mesmerizing, made her head spin, his eyes pulling her into something she knew could be dangerous but it was far too alluring to say no to._

_"Stubborn child," James smiled at her, but she was already beyond smiling. A smouldering heat spread throughout her body, unlike anything she had ever felt before. Blood rushed to her head, she heard her heart beat in her ears, and then James was leaning in. His lips brushed hers..._

_Sparks ignited in her stomach, his lips cold against hers, but it didn't matter. Her body was too hot to react properly to his cold hands creeping under her shirt; instead of breaking out in goose bumps, a wave of heat singed underneath her skin._

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_(Bella POV)_

"Bella," Edward croaked and I heard him sit up in the grass. Oh God, what an idiot I was. How could I do this to him? Edward didn't deserve this. I should just tell him, rather than showing him, it would be far less painful for the both of us. Problem was, I didn't know how I could possibly get the words out. How do you tell the love of your life that once upon a time you thought you'd never leave the guy who ended up leaving you for dead?

"I'm sorry," I said aloud, and my eyes snapped open, probably full of worry. I sat up as well to look at him. Great going Bella, you just had to go and remember the few things about James that Edward really didn't need to know. It hadn't been my intention to show him that, but when it came to James, what little memories I did have of him always seemed to include the most intimate moment I had shared with him. Perhaps it was a blessing that I could shield my thoughts from Edward. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay, love," he smiled at me softly, but a pained expression was still visible in his eyes. I couldn't believe I did that; it must have been extremely uncomfortable for Edward to have to see me just kissing him. But his hands on me... "I just think you underestimate my self-control when it comes to James."

"I'm sorry," I scooted closer to him and put my forehead down on his shoulder. "Sorry sorry sorry," I repeated, even though I realised he probably didn't want me to apologize. He was really too good for me. "Oh God, I can't... I can't do this to you," I looked up again.

"Come here," he said, and put his arm around me, pulling me close to his chest. I closed my eyes and hugged my arms around his torso tightly. "Was there anything else you needed me to know?" he asked me softly. I opened my eyes again, and wondered if I should tell him at all. But I could show him what was really bothering me, what had struck a nerve when Lauren had spoken the word. _A girl_.

"There's only one more thing I think I remember. Maybe you can help me out," I looked up at him. We lay back down in the grass, only now I remained positioned in his arms, close to his body. Safe.

"You know the girl in my painting?" I said, and he looked at me patiently, "I have never been able to make sense of her," the little girl right there at the edge of my peripheral vision. Out of reach, always out of sight, only my imagination to fill in the missing pieces. Her brown curls and matching brown eyes. I had brown eyes as a human. Could it really _be_ just that? A reflection of myself I had once accidentally caught in a mirror?

"She's not a dream," Edward said, and I raised myself on my elbow to look at him. He must be seeing her now too. As much as his gift could intrude in my thoughts, I felt grateful for it now; the way this girl looked was truly beyond description, too perfect and beautiful to be reduced to mere words. "And you've definitely seen her through vampire eyes as well."

"Then what is she?" I asked. Human? What could James and Victoria possibly have wanted with a human child? The thought alone sounded ridiculous, yet it made me shudder at the same time. "She can't be one of the immortal children," I said, now knowing the correct name for them; Carlisle had told me all about them. "In my mind she grows, every day."

"How long have you been seeing her?" Edward asked, and frowned, mostly to himself. It probably made even less sense to him than it did to me, after all I had been living with these images for the past five years. But maybe Edward could help me organize my thoughts; be my voice of reason.

"Ever since I first saw her as a baby," I said, now convinced that Victoria holding her was in fact a memory rather than a dream. It was hard to believe the direction my life had taken in such a short period of time. In no less than two months I had found a new lifestyle, a family, a love for life, and now it seemed Edward was going to help me find the answers I had been looking for since much longer. "In the past few years only glimpses, shatters. What are you thinking?" I asked, when I saw him staring up at the sky again.

"I can't be sure, but it seems like she's an actual memory," Edward explained. Okay, so not a dream. I could accept that to some degree; up until now I had just passed the image off as something my brain didn't know how to process properly. If I was human the first time I ever saw her, that could very well be true. "A real child, growing up. A child that you know."

"How?" I asked.

"Your first memory of her is in Victoria's arms, yes?" he looked at me; I only nodded in response. "Go back to that. Try to remember anything. A feeling, a smell, a colour. If you can paint her that means you can remember her," he looked at me for a long time while I thought that through. I wasn't exactly sure on how I would do that, remembering so little already. "You don't have to if you don't want to," Edward said, mistaking my silence for hesitation.

"I want to," I reassuringly placed one of my hands on his chest. "I've stayed away from that past because I thought it would only show me how wrong I was to trust James. But this little girl has something to do with _me_, with _him_, and even Victoria. It's time I figure that out." I knew for a fact that with Edward by my side I would find my answers.

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next chapter: show and tell (3)


	25. Show and Tell: part 3

**author's notes: **update time! been busy catching _New Moon_ (my 3rd time today! who else loved it as much as i did??) in cinemas, so there probably won't be an preview in my comment back. but i still hope you let me know what you think. enjoy this new chapter ;) super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, James/Victoria (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 25:** show and tell (3)

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_(Bella POV)_

I didn't know how to start. Edward had told me that I could remember anything if I wanted it bad enough. My paintings of the little girl were proof enough that the memories existed somewhere in my mind, and I was a vampire after all. If anyone could be made to remember, right now that person would be me.

I took a deep breath; part of me felt stupid closing my eyes again, but it really was easier to rearrange my thoughts that way. All I had to do was think back to when I first saw the baby, but I knew that wasn't going to happen if I couldn't first remember what Victoria's face looked like. So instead of thinking about the little girl I was dying to know, I went back to the first time James had taken me to his Victoria. The night he broke my heart.

I had pushed away that memory so vigorously that it was almost unreachable; it only proved how strong a mind could truly be. I remembered how it had started, James letting me go, even though I protested, an apathy in his eyes that suddenly did have me scared. Another woman stepping out of the shadows, red wavy hair flowing almost graciously in the wind. And then James kissing her greedily. My world had stopped spinning around me.

_"Who are you?" I asked, literally glued in place by a paralyzing fear. Her eyes were blood-red. What was going on? Why was he...? The way they acted around one another made me believe that they had known each other for a very long time; how he touched her in a way he had never touched me. He wasn't careful around her either. So all of it was pretend? He pretended to love me? Why? Did he ever even care? After what I just shared with him, he was just going to drop me?_

_"Always the same inane questions," the woman answered, and she took a step towards me. It was only then that I noticed that her complexion matched James' perfectly; they were both pale-white. She was a vampire too. "We tend not to answer them at the risk of spooking our prey," she stood so close I could smell her; the same sweet smell James had. "But since you're giving us such an amazing gift," her icy hand brushed my hair aside and I felt her breath caress my ear. My own hand went to cover my stomach automatically._

_My heartbeat rattled my entire body, my breathing frenzied with fear, but I couldn't move, I couldn't will my body to do anything. The redhead vampire grabbed James by his jacket and pulled him closer, pushing him violently up against the wall, tracing her tongue up his neck. And he took pleasure in it. _

_I stopped breathing._

My eyes snapped open reflexively, willing the terrible fear to go away. I sat up in the grass and gasped, only then realising I didn't need oxygen anymore. God that memory, so vivid and clear through my human eyes. I knew it was the fear that had kept it strong in my mind for such a long time. It wasn't that I felt bad about it still, getting my heart broken by James. I had after all found a much stronger love that would never leave me.

"Bella, calm down," one of Edward's hands was on my shoulder quickly, his other rubbing my back gently. "It's okay. You're okay," he kissed my hair, but it didn't make me feel okay at all. Something Victoria had said. "Parts of your memory are coming back," Edward said, and it shook me out of my thoughts. "That's good, it means the answers are there." All of a sudden though, I wasn't so sure the answers would be all that pleasant.

"Victoria," I whispered, but my voice gained in momentum when I remember exactly what she had said to me. "She said I was giving them a gift," I frowned, not knowing what to think of the statement. Humans knowing about vampires was forbidden, so why did Victoria so freely offer me the information? Unless... unless she knew I was going to either die or get turned into a vampire.

"She did," Edward rested his chin on my shoulder, affirming again that I heard what I thought I heard. I had given them a gift? My very existence as a vampire seemed to proof that James and Victoria had gotten what they wanted from me. I had woken up alone after I was turned, and they hadn't bothered with me for the past five years. "What did that make you feel? Do you remember that?"

"I felt fear," I remembered how my hand had protected my stomach. Why did I do that? It wasn't fear of dying, it had been something much more instinctual than that. Deeper. "Like she was taking something from me she had no right to."

"Hold on to that feeling. Let it guide you."

_Remember the fear_, not exactly the most pleasant request anyone had made me, but if it was what needed to be done to get my answers, I would push through. Edward was there to take care of me, to remind me it was all in the past and it couldn't really hurt me. That was enough.

Fear. The thought of dying suddenly did come to mind, but in a very unexpected way. In the memory, I didn't _fear_ death. I couldn't make sense of it; why wasn't I afraid for my own life? It seemed that someone had taken that precedent; I was gladly giving up my life if it meant...

_"Get out of here," Victoria snarled and pushed James away from me. Where was I? I was laying down on a bed with Victoria hovering over me. James lingered, even though Victoria was keeping him at arm's length. "We didn't come this far for you to kill her now," she looked back at James, his eyes blood-red. It's then that the smell caught my attention; a strong coppery scent. Blood. "Go!" Victoria shouted._

_James ran out of the room, my human eyes barely registering the movement. Why was he going? Wasn't this what they wanted? Me dead?_

_A high-pitched scream cut through the air. I realised quickly it was my own._

_"Stay with me now Bella," Victoria said, and I saw her toss aside a scalpel drenched in blood. **My** blood. I felt like I knew what was happening all too well, but it didn't reach my conscious mind. "We need him to be safe, yes?" her tone was belittling, like she was talking to a child that didn't understand the brevity of the situation. Part of me didn't, of course, but I had to. I had to remember._

_There was a disgusting ripping sound, and I felt something snap inside my body, a bone breaking because too much pressure was being applied. "Save her," I whimpered, feeling my body slip away beyond my control, my head drowsy and spinning at the same time. How did I know it would be a her instead of a him? What was going on?_

_"Hi baby," Victoria's voice only just reached my human ears. I heard another cry, but this one brought tears to my eyes; to my surprise they were tears of joy. I had gladly surrendered what life I had left to save her. She was alive. My baby was alive._

"NO!" my eyes snapped open violently, and I reached out for something that wasn't even there. My last human memory; I had just seen my last human memory. The last thing I ever saw before I died, before an eternal night took hold of me, before my heart stopped beating entirely; my baby.

"Bella," I had shaken off Edward's hands when I had snapped out of my memory; he didn't put them back on my shoulders. He probably didn't even know what to think right about now. If he witnessed that memory along with me, he knew just how confused I was feeling right now. I had a daughter. I was a mother. "You have..."

"I have a daughter," I turned around and looked him in the eyes. For the first time in my vampire existence, I wished I could cry, at least that seemed like an appropriate way to deal with this right now. "That's why he wanted me. To take my baby," I buried my face in my hands.

Edward had his arms around me in an instant, rocking my body back and forth; the sensation calmed me only slightly. James had never been a darker mark in my life. He had taken everything from me: my love, my life, and now my daughter. I wanted to be able to cry so I could break down, but I couldn't will my brain to do it, because for the first time in my life, I saw my fate clearer than ever before.

This was the life I had spend my vampire existence looking for, here with the Cullens and Edward, relying on the blood of animals instead of feeling guilt-ridden by taking a human life. This is where I belonged, in this life, this place. With Edward. Only now with my daughter as well.

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next chapter: family ties


	26. Family Ties

**author's notes: **sorry for the wait you guys! _New Moon_ got in the way (again) and real life, and school. i beg your forgiveness with this new chapter. hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Carlisle/Esme, Jasper/Alice, Emmett/Rosalie (POVs are underlined)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs.

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 26:** family ties

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_(Esme POV)_

"Alice, are you sure about this?" Carlisle asked again, a question everyone else was keeping to themselves. Alice had called us all down ten minutes ago, informing us that Edward and Bella were on their way home and would want to talk to all of us. It wasn't like any of us to really question the accuracy of Alice's visions, but it seemed strange that Bella would want us all to sit down and listen to what she had to say. I encouraged it, of course, but it just seemed out of character for her, a girl that protected her past so desperately.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Alice exclaimed, sitting comfortably on the couch right next to Jasper. She'd taken Bella's seclusion personally at first, even though we knew that she understood. Alice just wished that Bella had talked to her too. We had no choice but to wait on what Bella had to tell us.

"I don't see why this is suddenly so important," Rosalie sneered, suddenly seeming more disgruntled at Bella than Alice had been in the previous days. I knew she felt that Bella should have talked to all of us already, rather than disappearing into the woods with Edward without a word of explanation. I had to disagree with Rosalie; Bella dealt with her feelings differently than most of us. In fact, she was much like Edward in that respect, bottling things up. Just like my son, she sometimes preferred to suffer in silence.

"Rose, please," Alice put a hand on Rosalie's arm to calm her down, "Bella's been through a lot. And as her family we have to support her now that she needs us." Alice had obviously seen something to ensure her that this was something that Bella needed, otherwise she'd be agreeing with Rosalie completely. Rosalie didn't answer, but her silence assured all of us that she would do her best to keep any further comments to herself.

"They're here," Emmett called from the other side of the room; he'd been standing by the window to catch a glimpse of Edward and Bella coming towards the house. He ran over to one of the couches in the living room, and sat down next to Rosalie.

None of us knew what to really expect; we had all heard Bella's conversation with Lauren on the phone, even though we were pretending not to listen in. It had made little sense to me: Lauren knowing that Bella was a vampire, and something about James and a woman named Victoria, and then a child. In fact, it made no sense whatsoever, but whatever it was, it had upset Bella enough to drive her from the house and take several days to think things through. Luckily she had Edward with her. Something told me she had needed him there with her.

"Good, you're all here," Edward said when he entered the living room, holding Bella's hand. He gave Alice a grateful smile, and it seemed they shared a little private moment in Alice's mind. Both Bella and Edward seemed calm, though determined to tell us whatever they needed to get out. A fear took hold of me suddenly: what if they wanted to move out of the house? What if they planned on travelling? I had only just gained a daughter, and as happy as I was that she and Edward had found each other, I would feel sad if they already decided to leave us to spend more time together alone.

"Don't worry mom, we're not going anywhere," Edward said, half smiling. He put an arm around Bella and pulled her closer to him; they were now standing in the middle of the room. "Bella just needed some time to think about her past. She's ready to talk to you now."

"Bella, you mustn't feel obligated to..." Carlisle said; he was standing behind me, I was sitting in a small settee by myself. My thoughts were in line with Carlisle's; we didn't want to force Bella to talk to us now simply because we were curious about what she and Edward had been doing for the past four days.

"No, I want to," Bella spoke for the first time, her voice carrying the same determination as her eyes were. Perhaps it really was time for her to talk about this. "You've all been so kind to me, and welcoming, and I haven't been very fair."

"We know you don't like to talk about your past," I said softly, hoping I could put her more at ease, even though she didn't really need it anymore around us. She was part of the family now, and she knew that as well as the rest of us.

"My past wasn't terrible, just the month leading up to my turning," she didn't move an inch away from Edward. She wasn't looking at any of us either. "I remember very little of it. I don't know who turned me."

"There's nothing?" Alice asked curiously. All of us knew that she didn't remember any of it either. It was strange and uncharacteristic for a vampire strong enough to turn someone to just leave their creation to its fate. Not to mention it was wrong, leaving these two beautiful girls alone while the venom spread through their bodies. Carlisle went through his transformation alone as well; I just couldn't imagine how any of them managed on their own.

"Nothing," Bella shook her head, looking at Alice. It was almost as if she felt like she had an ally in the room now, and she grew more comfortable talking. "After I turned I read up about traumatic events and how humans tend to push that from their minds. I guess I must have suppressed it too."

"It's called dissociative amnesia," Carlisle spoke again, and I looked up at him briefly. "It's very common in traumatic cases. I can't imagine anything more traumatic than what you went through," he said. We all knew Bella had woken up in a hospital after she was turned, the hospital monitors all telling her she had died. Her thirst must have been insufferable when the nurses rushed in to help her.

"You think this Victoria turned you?" Jasper asked. I thought it was a strange question, even though Bella had whispered the name upon seeing the painting in the living room, and before rushing out of the house with Edward. But then maybe Jasper was already making connections that were still eluding me at the moment.

"I don't see why she would," Bella frowned to herself, and looked up at Edward briefly; she was looking for something to hold onto. I hoped she wasn't putting herself through too much pain telling us all of this. "She wasn't exactly a friend of mine. Or her companion, James. But she's the woman on the painting," she pointed towards the wall without looking at the painting. I had told Jasper to take it down before Bella got back, but Alice had said she would be fine with it there.

"And the child?" I asked curiously. There must be a reason why she had painted this Victoria with a baby in her arms. It didn't make much sense either. Edward squeezed Bella's shoulder, and gave her an encouraging nod. I suddenly wished I had never asked the question, it seemed like Bella had dreaded this one question above all others.

"My child," Bella said, and looked at each and every one of us to scope our reactions. "My daughter."

Her daughter?

Six pairs of eyes widened in surprise, looking at Bella like she had spoken the strangest words ever. None of us spoke. The child on the painting was her daughter? Was she joking? "It's true," Edward said, as if to answer all the questioning stares directed towards him and Bella. Still, no one said a word. "I've seen it. The memory is there. Bella gave birth to a hybrid child."

---

_(Rosalie POV)_

A hybrid child? Part of me thought that Bella and Edward were having us on and that they'd burst out in laughter at any moment, telling us 'gotcha', but such a thing seemed impossible from the looks on their faces. It wouldn't have been very funny either way. Another part of me was just frozen. Was such a thing even possible? There were myths and legends from here to China about male vampires impregnating human women, but that didn't mean they were anything more than just stories.

"And James? He..." I spoke carefully, but I couldn't finish the statement. He did this to her on _purpose_? I already knew that James had hurt Bella more than she had admitted to any of us, but I had always thought that maybe Bella was letting it get to her too much. But this, this was monstrous. It was atrocious. It was impossible to put into words. I sat paralyzed on the couch.

"Victoria wanted a child," Bella cast down her eyes, her voice thick with sorrow. So what, Victoria just picked out a random human off the street and told James to use his vampire wiles on her? "James gave her one," she looked up carefully, still trying to get something from any of us.

I stopped breathing altogether.

"That's horrific," Alice gasped. Jasper hugged her tighter to him.

"That's messed _up_!" Emmett exclaimed, and looked back at me. I didn't move a muscle, not showing any good, or any bad emotions. I was completely immobilized, thinking of doing unnameable things to every vampire that had ever even considered doing this to a woman. Emmett didn't say a single word when he met my gaze. He must have seen how I was struggling, because before I knew it he took hold of one of my hands, hoping it would comfort me.

"My God," Esme turned her head and took hold of Carlisle's hand. Carlisle was probably wondering if such a thing was possible at all. I already knew it was; Bella and Edward wouldn't lie about a thing like this. If Bella remembered having a child with James, then it was true. That son of a bitch.

"I want to find her," Bella said, and looked around the room hopefully. My face must have looked ice-cold. I still couldn't move, or wrap my head around the fact that there was a creature out there vile enough to do this to a human girl, so young, so innocent, and so ignorant of our world. I felt terrible for Bella.

"That could be dangerous, Bella," Jasper said, and looked at her, "You don't know what James wants with you, or where he is." I knew why Jasper felt he had to say it. James could be a very dangerous adversary but this was Bella's child, a part of her, stolen away from her by a man and woman that didn't deserve such innocence.

"Jasper for Christ's sake, we're talking about her daughter here!" I jumped up from the couch, astonishing everyone with my sudden reaction; Bella most of all. She stared at me incredulously, but there was gratitude in her eyes as well. Edward was equally surprised, but something in my thoughts must have kept him silent.

"He's right though, Rose," Edward said softly. I knew he was doing his very best not to rile me up any further. "James was clearly looking for Bella in Phoenix. And if this Victoria is his companion, she won't be far behind." I understood the arguments, hell I could even see the logic for any ordinary vampire to stay away from James, but my family was everything but ordinary.

"So some of us will join her," I said strongly, still looking at Edward. He didn't seem in the mood to protest, probably because at this point he was looking for any excuse to go straight after James and tear him to pieces. "She's part of the family and we take care of our family, isn't that right?" I looked around the room, and found little protest. "He's not gonna lay a finger on her."

Bella bit her bottom lip nervously.

"Relax sis," Emmett got up from the couch and threw his arms around my shoulders from behind. Leave it to my man to say exactly what everyone needed to hear in that moment. "Jasper can track him, Edward can read his mind, and Alice can see him coming," he said, a broad grin on his face. "See? Nothing to worry about."

"I'm coming too," I said, only eye for Bella at this point. She was my sister, and I was going to help her through this like any other sister would. "Make sure the creep gets what he deserves."

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	27. Hide and Seek: part 1

**author's notes: **updating seems to be becoming more and more difficult for me. sorry for the wait you guys! i'm really giving it all i can, but exams are going to start really really soon for me and i really need to focus on them. anyway, hope you like the new chapter, let me know what you think ;) super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Emmett/Rosalie

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 27:** hide and seek (1)

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_(Alice POV)_

"Where should we start?" Bella asked Jasper. Almost everyone in the house was packing. Jasper and me were joining her, our gifts would be crucial if we wanted to find James, and to make sure we had the upper hand. That shouldn't pose any problems; James wouldn't know what hit him. Edward was coming as well, naturally, and Rose couldn't be held back.

Emmett really wanted to come too, but Jasper had suggested he stayed behind with Carlisle, in case James came looking for Bella in Forks. It seemed unlikely, and I hadn't seen anything that would suggest anything like that, but as per usual safety came first in the Cullen family.

"Lauren's apartment," Jasper said, joining us with our bags in the living room again. It was possible for our kind to have entire and clear conversations across several houses; in this case it came in handy. The whole house was in a state of heightened alertness, everyone running around, making sure we had everything we needed. We didn't know how long it would take to find James, or Victoria. "We noticed his scent there immediately, it'll be strongest there."

"Why did he try to mask it in Bella's apartment in the first place?" Rosalie walked into the living room with her bags in tow. There was no stopping her anymore. I'd seen her reaction coming, even if I hadn't been able to see the future I knew that she would feel strongly about joining us; just like Bella she had suffered gravely at the hands of a man before being turned. The fact that James was a vampire probably only made it more challenging for her. "It seems kind of futile after making no effort in Lauren's flat."

"He was counting on me to lose control," Bella said, and cast down her eyes. I put my arm around her and pulled her close; Edward was up in his room and Bella's studio to pack their bags, he'd insisted that Bella stay downstairs and try to calm down. Bella however, seemed in control and as much at ease as she possibly could be. Unlike me, she had gotten most of her answers already. "He didn't think I'd be able to resist taking a bite out of her."

"That's disgusting," Rosalie wrinkled her nose.

Before I could hear her say anything more, everything in the room blanked out in front of my eyes. "Oh!" I exclaimed, feeling that familiar tingle run up my spine, only now no images came to me at all. In fact, my eyesight disappeared altogether. I put a hand to my forehead.

"Alice?" Jasper was in front of me in no time, but I didn't look at him. I concentrated on the vision that was trying to unravel itself to me. None of it came.

"What the hell?" I said, and only then looked up at Jasper. Frustration and anxiety rippled through my body. "Our futures just completely disappeared!" my eyes connected with his, my fears reflected in Jasper's.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked worried.

"Hang on," I said, and put a hand on his cheek to calm him down. I didn't want him to worry or panic over this, but I was freaking out myself. I concentrated harder, maybe our future was crossing with someone I hadn't seen before and that was why the vision was blurred. "Aargh!" I let out a cry of frustration; it was almost like I was looking at something that didn't want to be seen. Or like staring into an eclipse with human eyes.

"Does that mean we... _we_ _die_?" Bella asked carefully. I didn't know how to answer, I didn't know what it meant. I had never felt like this before; I almost felt a headache coming on. Vampires didn't have headaches, what was wrong with me?

"I have no idea!" I yelled, and shot up from the couch. "This has never happened to me before!" I rushed out of the room, but was stopped by Emmett when he crossed me in the doorway. "Out of my way, Emmett!" I shouted again, making his eyes go wide. Edward followed behind him, his look also puzzled, "I have to focus."

---

_(Emmett POV)_

"Whoa, what's crawled up her panties?" I looked after Alice as she made her way upstairs, followed closely by Jasper. I knew Edward was behind me; the look on his face told me that whatever Alice was seeing, or in fact _not_ seeing in her head, was worrying him as well.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he said as he sat down next to Bella. Figures, only worrying about his girl right now, but then I would probably do the same thing if I were in his shoes. If I had found out someone had done this to my Rose, I would have ripped him apart without giving it a second thought. Unfortunately Rose had beat me to that. "We shouldn't go in blind," he added.

"Then you stay here," Rose said. She had skipped out of the room to put Alice's and Jasper's bags into the cars; I guessed Esme and Carlisle were in the garage as well. She was back the moment Edward had spoken the words.

"Bella," Edward looked for support. I had to agree with my brother on this one. If Alice was really blind on anything _James_, there had to be a reason; and whatever had Alice drawing a blank had me very worried. We'd all gotten used to relying on our brothers' and sister's gifts. I knew for a fact that if Jasper was in this room right now, he'd tell Bella the same thing.

"She's right," Bella said, agreeing full heartedly with Rose. Who would really have expected anything else? Rosalie and Bella had gone from being just sisters, to conjoined twins in a matter of a few hours. "She's my daughter. They took her from me. Even if they just needed my body to put her into this world, she's a part of me. I can't just..."

"I'll go with you, Bella," Rose took a few steps closer to reassure Bella that she had her support no matter what. "I got your back," she said, but she was probably thinking up ways to make sure James died a very slow death.

"Rose!" Edward exclaimed, and it took me by surprise. I knew he felt protective towards Bella, but he wasn't really the kind of person to lose his temper. That would be more something I would do. I guessed he didn't want Rosalie to encourage Bella all too much, they were after all going back to the city that held a lot of bad memories for her, and even more temptation.

"What?" Rose shrugged callously. "You're a guy, Edward. You wouldn't understand maternal instinct if it walked up to you and bit you in the face." Yeah, now my Rose definitely had a point. Esme and Rosalie knew how Bella was feeling, and Alice could definitely relate. Us men had no idea how they were feeling, all we could do was try to understand. "If you won't go with her, I will."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to let her go alone." Edward stood up to Rose defiantly.

"Then stop your complaining and go get your bags." Rose took a step closer to him threateningly, raising her voice. The whole house braced for impact.

"Whoa Rose, calm down," I rushed over to them before they went for each other's throats. Neither of them seemed to have heard me; they only kept staring at each other, menacing looks in both their eyes. On any other day I would give money to see Rosalie and Edward sparring, right now this needed to be stopped.

"Edward, calm down," Bella stood up from the couch as well, helping me out to get the two of them away from each other. She put a hand to his chest. It took long moments, and I guessed she told him something in her mind, because Edward looked down at her immediately.

"Are you being serious?" Edward asked her, and I couldn't help but be curious what exactly she had shared to distract him.

---

_(Edward POV)_

"Worked, didn't it?" Bella raised an eyebrow, and started pushing me out the room, probably still trying to put some more distance between Rose and me. I loved Rose, I really did, but her assumptions that suddenly I didn't seem to care for Bella enough to join her in finding her daughter had me seething with anger. I would never leave Bella, let alone now. Rose might have thought I couldn't understand, but I knew Bella, better than anyone.

"You..." I said, but couldn't think of anything more to say. Had Bella just asked me what I thought she'd asked me? Hadn't I misheard? It was perfectly possible, I _was_ at the time thinking of ways to tie up Rose in the back of the trunk for our car drive to Phoenix. Though separate cars were probably a much more peaceful solution.

"I just needed to get you to back down," she was still pushing me away from the living room. I stopped resisting and let her pull me down to the basement level, where we came to a standstill, gazing into each other's eyes. "I don't want you and Rosalie fighting, especially when it's clear you both just want what's best for me." She was right, apart from the fact that I didn't possess any maternal instincts, Rose and I were in agreement; we'd both do our very best to help Bella get through this.

"Marriage?" I raised an eyebrow, finally asking her to clarify what she had asked me in thought earlier. I still wasn't sure whether or not I had heard it correctly.

"I only asked you if it had crossed your mind," she smiled up at me, throwing her arms around my neck; she seemed very serious about her question. I didn't know what to think; just like my family a few hours before I wondered if she was joking. If she was, it wasn't very funny. "I'm not the mind reader around here."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

She chuckled. "I feel strangely complete," she nodded and her lips formed in a hard straight line. I had tried to imagine how it must have felt to get the answers she had been looking for since so long. I imagined it must have felt much the same as when I found Bella, a piece of herself falling into place. "Now that I know the truth it's somehow easier to deal with the past," she dug her fingers into my hair, "And think about the future."

"Has it crossed _your_ mind?" I asked curiously, moving my hands down to her waist, pulling her body against mine closely; I felt every inch of her against my body. It seemed an odd conversation to have in the midst of all these revelations and plan-making, but not one I felt like postponing at this point.

"Yes," she looked up at me, still smiling. I put my forehead against hers. I already knew I wanted to be with her forever, and that she felt the same way, but I had grown up with thoughts and ideas about life that would now be considered _old-fashioned_. So be it, I was after all almost a hundred years old.

"You have no idea how wonderful it is to hear you say that," I smiled and brushed my lips against hers like I always did. Bella knew me well enough to know I wouldn't keep this up, but this time it was her that pulled me closer into a deeper kiss. Maybe that was why she was so eager to get married; we did seem to have a certain amount of trouble keeping our hands off each other. I know at least some part of me was eager for that exact same reason.

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	28. Hide and Seek: part 2

**author's notes: **update time! exam period has started for me, so i beg your forgiveness if it takes me longer to update after this one chapter. BUT just exclusively for the holiday season, i'll add a preview to every review reply i send out! i hope you all enjoy the new chapter, let me know what you think. super THANK YOU to all my reviewers and a super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Rosalie, Lauren

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** i don't own Twilight, or any of the characters.

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 28:** hide and seek (2)

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_(Jasper POV)_

"Are we going to have this conversation again?" Bella asked, and I quickly noticed the sarcasm in her voice. We found ourselves back in Phoenix, the sun just setting behind the horizon, Bella wondering if I would stop her from going up to Lauren's apartment. We could have easily started at Bella's apartment, because James' scent was there as well, but Edward had asked us to stop here first. He wanted Bella to be able to see with her own eyes that Lauren was alright.

"It's fine, Bella," I answered. "Lauren won't be bleeding this time." I knew just as much as Bella did that there was no stopping her at this point anyway. Her determination was actually helping her in this case; her mind was so preoccupied with finding her daughter that any human temptation had faded to a small flame. It was quite admirable.

I looked to Alice for an answer to my most pertinent question. "Relax Jazz," Alice said, and smiled at me broadly, "There's no bloodshed in her immediate future. Bella's tough." That was something I already knew; in a way she was just as tough as I was at her age, though for entirely different reasons.

"And we've got her back," Rosalie added. I saw Bella take Edward's hand, probably to make sure he had her should anything indeed go wrong, and Rosalie flanked her other side. Alice and me followed behind. When we got upstairs, Bella knocked on the door firmly. We heard footsteps moving towards the door, heels tapping on the wooden floorboards, and the door opened not long after.

"Bells," Lauren's entire face lit up the moment she laid eyes on Bella. I noticed immediately just how intimidated she felt by seeing all five of us standing in her doorway. Perhaps some of us should have stayed behind, but something told me Bella wouldn't have wanted to take the risk.

"Hi," Bella felt anxious too, facing Lauren like this. She was trying her best to hold her breath and still sound good. "These are uhm..." she looked at all of us, probably wondering if she should introduce us one by one, "Some of the other Cullens," Bella nodded, "They need to take a look around your apartment."

"Sure," Lauren said hesitantly. I could tell she was trying her very best to wrap her head around all what was going on. She already knew Bella was a vampire; she probably realised we all were too just by looking at us. "I haven't had much time to clean up though," she moved aside to let us all in, giving us a wide berth of space.

"That's okay, it'll probably be easier for Jazz to find the scent that way." Alice and me walked into the room last, but we were the ones that moved to the centre of the room, where we had found Lauren's body almost a week ago now. She seemed to be healing up well, but she was right; the apartment still looked a mess, the blood now a deep brown stain on the wooden floor.

"_Alice_..." Bella's voice had a warning tone. I knew she still wasn't all too sure about what exactly Lauren knew about our kind. It was remarkable that a human woman had been able to put the pieces together without actually witnessing anything supernatural.

"Don't worry Bella, she's cool." Alice turned on her heels and smiled at Bella, then followed me further into the room again. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath through my nose, trying to pick up James scent; it still lingered in my mind from when we were here last, but I needed to find it again before being able to follow it.

"So this is the family you're leaving me for," I heard Lauren say, "They seem nice." There was one fact that couldn't be denied: to humans we were the perfect family. Siblings that got along perfectly. The students in Forks high school however had us figured out remarkably fast; they knew that some of us were couples. After that, we'd given up on most of the pretence. Either way, it would be very hard convincing the student body that Edward and Bella were _just_ siblings if she ever joined us.

"They are," was all Bella answered. She wasn't taking any chances with Lauren.

"You seem... different," Lauren said. She was growing more discomforted; I tried my best to put her at ease. It would make things much easier for all of us.

---

_(Lauren POV)_

If I had thought once that the Cullen parents were gorgeous, it was nothing compared with how their foster children looked. The blonde girl whose name Bella had neglected to tell me was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes upon. Looking at all of them now, I figured their beauty was probably due to their nature. _Vampires_. The thought no longer made me shudder when thinking about it, but it didn't exactly assure me either.

Especially not when I thought about the vampire that tried to kill me. Normally when I thought back on it – his fierce red eyes – a ripple of fear ran through me. Right now however, I felt strangely at ease.

"I've had a lot put in perspective the past two months," Bella answered, still looking down at the floor. She was trying everything she could to avoid making eye contact; I didn't want to think about the reason why. "I guess you could say I found a place where I belong," she looked up at the man holding her hand.

"And he's the _man_ you're leaving me for?" I asked, and looked at him again. He was easily one of the most attractive men I had ever seen, but the same could be said about his brother. If I hadn't known any better I would have said that he and Bella were two people who had known each other for years. One thing was certain: Bella Swan was in love.

"Edward," he said, and his voice hit me like a cherry blossom; it was soft and sweet and well, it pretty much dazzled me completely. I could definitely see what Bella saw in him. "It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot," he said, and put an arm around Bella; she relaxed into the touch. I could hardly believe what I was seeing: my Bella interacting with other people, this was something entirely new to me.

"Couldn't have been too much," I managed to utter. What would she have told them about me? Apart from the hilarious story about how we had met, I had been nowhere near Bella, let alone a friend. It was true that I had been a constant for the past five years, but I couldn't see how that warranted her talking about me.

"You have no idea how much we appreciate what you've done for her, Lauren," Edward said, and the way he said my name had my stomach making flip-flops. He looked down at Bella, and that's when I saw that his affection for her ran just as deep as hers for him. This almost seemed too good to be true. Maybe that was what she was grateful for; for introducing her to the Cullens in the first place. "I never would have met her if it weren't for you."

Was he reading my mind or something?

"I didn't know what to think after you hung up on me last time," I decided to change the subject to something I had been wondering about. I had known that hearing me say what I knew about her life wouldn't be easy, but after what happened with James I felt like I had to tell her what I knew. I had felt like I needed to show her my support, and get her through the horrible ordeal. Now it seemed all my worry had been for nothing; she was part of a family now. "I thought maybe I'd said something wrong."

"What you did was very right, Lauren," Bella took a step closer, which surprised me. Suddenly I was closer to her than I had ever been in the past five years. The colour of her eyes hit me first; they were a golden-brown, even though I was used to them being brown. I consciously didn't ask her about it; I wasn't sure how much I wanted to know. Maybe one day, but not today. "It helped me figure out who the little girl was. _Is_," she corrected herself immediately.

"And?" I asked, hopeful. Bella took a step back towards Edward.

"She's my daughter," Bella said, sounding utterly convinced. Bella Swan was a mother? How come she never told me? "From before I was... you know," she added, and I realised then that I hadn't seen her and James together all those years ago. I had seen James with another woman. Did they take her baby away from her? "That's why we're here, to find James, and find her."

"Holy hell Bells, you're going after that creep?" I shook my head violently and looked at her in surprise. The blonde one next to Bella looked at me strongly, her eyes almost willing me to calm down. I could tell just how protective they all were of Bella. "I guess it's a good thing you've got back-up," I half smiled, and it earned me a grateful smile from Bella and Edward. The two of them seemed utterly inseparable.

"I've got it," the blonde guy and the pixie girl joined us again. I had only to guess what they had been looking for. "The scent heads east. It'll probably lead us to Bella's apartment." I understood all the words he had spoken, but I couldn't for the life of me put them in any sort of context that made sense. "It'll take some time to find it there, but it's not impossible."

They moved out of the apartment, the tiny girl signalling the blonde girl to follow her out; she reluctantly followed. I guessed they hadn't expected Edward to be willing to leave Bella's sight. I wondered just how good I smelled to her right now. I had so many questions for her, about what I already believed to be right; that she was in fact a vampire, but I kept any questions to myself. I felt like she had a pretty emotional journey ahead of her.

"Don't worry Lauren, we'll take good care of her," Edward said, and something about the way he said it made me believe that everything was going to work out just fine.

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	29. Hide and Seek: part 3

**author's notes: **an INSANE amount of apologies for the long wait, my exams have brought down the muse hard, and make it very difficult to focus on anything else. still, hope you all enjoy the new chapter, let me know what you think. super THANK YOU to all my reviewers and a super-special thanks to my beta helaluvE.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Rosalie

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** _fic•tion_ [fíksh'n]: literary works of imagination

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 29:** hide and seek (3)

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_(Bella POV)_

Everything was going so fast for me; I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride, held in place only by Edward and the rest of my family. Rosalie's reaction had taken me by surprise most of all. At first when I had met her ice-cold gaze I thought she was angry with me, though I couldn't understand why. Now that she had explained her past to me, how Royce had hurt her, and how she had always wanted a child of her own, it all made sense to me; Rose's support, her anger towards James even though she'd never met him. Next to Edward, she was my strongest supporter.

Not that I could say anything bad about the others. Emmett would have joined us in an instant if Jasper hadn't thought it better for him to stay behind. Alice had assured me that James wouldn't go to Forks, but still, I couldn't help but be worried about Esme, Carlisle and Emmett. James was of course no match for Emmett, my strong big brother. James might have been a great tracker, but when it came to fighting, I'd put my money on Emmett any day.

Alice's visions going blank was yet another worry of mine: she'd told us it was something that hadn't happened to her before, so naturally everyone was worried. Part of me wanted to agree with Edward when he told me we shouldn't go into anything blindly, but my desire to find my daughter was much stronger. For the first time in my life I knew where I needed to be, where I needed to end up. And that was in a life where I had my daughter and Edward right by my side.

I hated seeing Edward and Rosalie arguing over me, especially when they were both just looking after me in their own way. Rosalie understood my will to find this missing piece of me, my little girl, though if she truly had been aging in my mind, it was very possible she wasn't that _little_ anymore in reality. And Edward, he just knew me better than anyone; he knew my moods now, my body, my past and present, and he _was_ my future. I couldn't do without him, nor could I do without the support my family was giving me. Esme, Rosalie and Alice all related, and Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett tried to understand. I couldn't be more grateful for that even if I tried.

In all the crazy mayhem surrounding us, I had even talked to Edward about marrying him. It wasn't in that many words, but I told him it had crossed my mind, like I knew without a doubt it had crossed his; that's how he had been raised. It only seemed like the next logical step towards our eternity together. It wasn't something I would have ever considered if I'd still been human, get married so young, but then in human years I would have been twenty-three by now.

I knew that seeing Lauren again would be trying; not only because she was human, but now that I knew she had learned I was vampire I had no idea how to behave around her. I said as little as possible the entire time we were there, to make sure I didn't say anything wrong, to make certain I didn't go for her blood, but it seemed my preoccupation with finding my daughter soothed most of the thirst. Strange, I thought, but maybe I was just that focused. It wouldn't be the first time my focus had taken the best of me; in this case I was thankful for it.

"The scent heads east. It'll probably lead us to Bella's apartment," Jasper said once he'd picked up James' scent again. I could have told him that before ever coming to see Lauren, but I kept it to myself. I already had the slight suspicion that Edward had asked the rest of them to make this little detour so I could explain some things to Lauren, and show her that I was alright. Bless him. "It'll take some time to find it there, but it's not impossible."

"Don't worry Lauren, we'll take good care of her," Edward said, and squeezed my hand in encouragement. I guessed that Lauren was worrying about me, even though there was nothing to be worried about. I wanted to say something, but I was still holding my breath. I thought it best to just leave without saying anything at all. Maybe when all of this was over, I'd have a chance to talk to her properly.

"Will she be alright?" I asked Edward as soon as we were making our way downstairs again. He had undoubtedly heard all of Lauren's thoughts.

"She was a little overwhelmed," he grinned, and opened the car door for me to get in. I didn't get in; I wanted to know what he had to say first. I could hardly blame Lauren for being overwhelmed by seeing five vampires on her doorstep; but at least Edward didn't say she'd been scared. "And she definitely has questions. But for now she's just happy to see you happy," he smiled softly, a gesture I could only grant him half-heartedly. It was sweet of her to worry of course, but I was much more worried about her mental well-being.

"Are we ready?" Alice called out to all of us from the first car; she was alone, I guessed that Jasper had taken a head start to my apartment already, to make sure we'd be able to hurry on fast. I got in the car, Edward driving this time, Rosalie joining Alice in the other car. Despite the fact that they'd both calmed down, Alice and I seemed to agree to keep Edward and Rosalie separated for the time being.

Jasper was tracking James on foot, because it was simply easier that way, and the rest of us followed in the cars. Alice called Esme and Carlisle for updates regularly, just so they'd know about our progress; I had never seen a better organized road trip. It seemed that Jasper was just as experienced in tracking as James was; knowing James, he'd do whatever he could to cover up his tracks, but Jasper was dead convinced that we were on the right path. And without Alice's vision to guide us, we had no choice but to trust him.

Our journey took us all the way to Seattle.

The city was bustling with people, even at night, making it more difficult for Jasper to follow the right scent. I knew that after me, he was the most recent in the Cullen family to turn 'vegetarian'. I hoped I wasn't asking too much of him. Something told me it wasn't in his nature to complain though. "There are other vampires here," Jasper said as soon as we got out of the cars, "It'll take me some time to pick up the trail again," he added.

"Take your time," Edward said.

"Wait," I called out, and Jasper stopped quickly in his tracks. Edward's eyes rested on me, but he didn't ask me what was wrong yet. I took a step forward, and breathed in deeply, my hand still in Edward's. "Do you smell that?" I asked to no one in particular. There was something floral hidden in the night's air. It was familiar to me.

"It's another scent. Another vampire," Jasper said, and I heard him take a step closer to me. "Do you recognise it?" he asked. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. My blurred memories suddenly returned to me with more clarity than ever before. I'd never had Victoria's scent locked away the way Jasper had memorized James', but something in my human memory was reawakened when I caught the smell.

"It's Victoria," Edward answered for me, seeing her image in my head once again.

"Let's go," Rosalie said, picking up on the scent herself, ready to follow it wherever it led us.

"Rose, hang on," both Edward and I called. I smiled up at him briefly. I watched him concentrate, closing his eyes, searching for any thoughts that could help us out. I was pretty sure he would recognise James' thoughts by now. "It's okay," Edward opened his eyes again, "He's nowhere near here," he said. I didn't know how far Edward's gift reached, but I released a breath, feeling instantly relieved. At the same time, a wave of disappointment hit me; my daughter probably wasn't here either.

We followed Victoria's scent two blocks further, away from the crowds as we had expected. The scent became stronger the closer we got, but there was no sound to accompany it; it seemed strange, because Victoria should have known we were coming as well. Another vampire's scent was very distinct to us, let alone five vampires all travelling together.

Rosalie kicked the door in when we arrived at the place where the scent was most potent; it made a hollow sound when it got torn from its hinges and dropped to the floor. We heard a scraping sound when we walked inside, all together, our senses raised to the highest level of alertness. What _was _that? My foot hit something lying on the floor. "Oh my God." I took a fearful step back, and felt my back connecting with Edward's chest, his hands on my shoulders. It was an arm.

My eyes went wide as I looked further into the room, Victoria's limbs were scattered all over the floor. She lay torn to pieces, with James' scent all over her skin. He did this. Why?

"This was recent," Jasper said as he crouched down beside Victoria's torso. As if finding her like this hadn't been horrible enough, it seemed like the body parts were starting to move back together. "He can't be far," Jasper growled, probably not because of Victoria's current state, but because how brutal an attack it seemed. It also made no sense to me whatsoever. Why would James attack his own companion?

I felt Edward pull me by the hand, and Rosalie's hand came to rest on my arm as well, to push me out of the room and continue our search; it was clear my daughter was not here. "We have to make sure she's okay," I objected nonetheless. I couldn't just leave Victoria like this, torn apart by a man she loved. Even despite all the things she did to me, I wouldn't leave her to her fate the way she had left me five years ago.

"Bella, are you serious?" Rosalie was the only one that didn't accept my statement, probably for the same reasons that would have convinced me to walk away; but it seemed I was much more compassionate than Rose. "After what she did to you?" Rose asked.

"She has spend the past five years with James and my daughter," I looked at Rose, and saw her eyes mellow instantly; she knew that I was right. "She might know where he's going. Hell, if Edward can just _see_ something, _anything_, then..."

"Okay," Rosalie interrupted me. "But don't expect me to be nice."

"What about James?" I asked, looking at Jasper.

He in turn looked at Alice. "Alice?" he asked.

"I can't..." Alice's eyes narrowed, but she shook her head again, just like she had done last time her vision went blank. It seemed we were still blind. "I still can't see him," she cast down her eyes. She hated not being able to see anything; she felt guilty, as if somehow she was responsible for her gift not working properly. We had all told her that it wasn't her fault, but she wouldn't listen. Now however, a small smile appeared on her face. "Bright side, I can see all of you again," she looked up, "And we're fine, she won't attack or anything."

"How is this possible?" I asked, looking down at Victoria's body again. Her arm reattached itself to her shoulder, making a disgusting snapping sound as it did. I had never seen anything like it. Was there really no limit to a vampire's regenerative ability? I suddenly felt grateful for never having had the chance to find out.

"Our kind are very hard to kill, Bella," Jasper answered. I was aware by now that he had fought others of our kind many times before; I wondered how many bodies like this he had seen in his lifetime. "That clearly wasn't his intention either," he added, in sync with my own thoughts. As unbelievable it was that James would ever attack his Victoria in the first place, I couldn't help but wonder why. Why now? Was it because he knew we were following him?

Victoria was in no way slower than him, so why did I get the feeling that he had considered her a burden?

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	30. Victoria's Secrets

**author's notes: **sorry for the wait! school's started again and it's been hijacking my brain. hope you all enjoy the new chapter. not beta'd yet, but i'll replace the chapter once it is. super-special thanks to all of you reviewing!

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Rosalie, Victoria

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** _fic•tion_ [fíksh'n]: literary works of imagination

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 30:** Victoria's secrets

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_(Bella POV)_

We didn't sleep, none of us did, simply because we weren't able to, but Victoria was unconscious for the entire time her body reassembled itself. I couldn't watch; it was too horrific. Jasper, however, never took his eyes off her. I knew he did it to protect the rest of us, but I couldn't understand how he was able to just _watch_. Watch how her limbs moved back together, snapping back in place, the cracks in her marble skin closing up slowly.

Edward didn't leave my side once. He gazed into my eyes deeply, caressing his hands through my hair, or planted kisses on my forehead to distract me. It didn't take long for Victoria's body to reassemble itself again though, half an hour maybe, but it seemed like all eternity stretched out between the time we'd found her, and when she spoke her first word.

"Bella," she said, her eyes showing no conflict, no pain, not even the slightest surprise to see me again. To see me alive. I supposed I should feel lucky she remembered me at all. She was seated against a pillar in the middle of the building; Jasper, Alice and Rosalie strategically placed around her. Edward and I stood directly in front of her.

"Victoria," I said her name in return. Suddenly, I had no idea what to ask her, what to tell her. I didn't even know how to properly express the hate I felt towards her. I'd pictured this confrontation a million times in my head since I had found out about my daughter, but now, knowing that James had literally torn her to pieces, something stopped me. I prayed feverishly it wasn't some misplaced sense of kinship, after all, James had torn me to pieces as well.

"You're alive," Victoria said, but didn't blink when she spoke the words. She was exactly like I had put her to memory. Her hair was red and fiery, just like her eyes, and in those eyes I found devious things I couldn't even describe. She hated me, for what, I didn't know, but it probably had everything to do with James and my daughter.

"You're alive?" Rosalie jumped into the conversation, standing not too far from Victoria's side. I knew for a fact she was thinking of ways to kill Victoria slowly and painfully. Part of me wanted her to, right after getting the information I needed. "That's the best you got?" Rosalie crossed her arms over her chest.

"_Rose_," Edward warned. He stood right next to me, but he wasn't touching me. I guessed he was trying his very best to be there for me, just like Rose, instead of ripping off Victoria's head. It probably didn't help that he could read her mind.

Victoria finally looked around to take in the room. I briefly wondered if she was considering trying to make a run for it. I knew she was fast, really fast, but Edward was fast too. "So you found yourself a little coven to protect you, hu?" she looked up at Rosalie with dark eyes. "I'm surprised. I never had you pegged for a very social person." She looked back at me. She was trying everything to tick me off.

"Save it, red." Rosalie seemingly picked up on the same thing. "We're here for her daughter." I loved Rosalie's straightforwardness. "Now tell us where she is, because I guarantee you there are at least four people in this room who know how to kill you right." And I definitely loved her way with words.

Victoria looked me in the eyes, and what I saw in her eyes took me aback. Was there sorrow in those crimson circles? "I'm sorry, Bella." She cast down her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was actually being sincere for once, or if it was all an act. "I hoped that..."

"That she would forgive you?!" Edward shot forward suddenly, taking me completely by surprise. He had his hands balled into fists by his sides, no doubt reading every thought in Victoria's mind.

"Edward!" I called out, but Alice had stopped him before I could even move. My sister sure knew how to pick her moments. I'd never been more grateful for her visions. And strangely, in that moment, I'd never loved Edward more, acting like my knight in shining armour.

But Rose failed to be impressed. "Fat chance of that," she told Victoria.

"Rose," Alice warned this time.

"I don't expect anyone's forgiveness, _blondie_," Victoria bit back, easily picking up on the mounting tensions in Rosalie and Edward. She wanted things to escalate, and she was succeeding in rattling even me. "It's her own damn fault anyway," she huffed.

"Excuse me?!" my eyes went wide, hate gripping my dead heart tightly.

"James wouldn't have come after us if you weren't looking for him," Victoria explained, her eyes just as dark as before again, blaming me for things I didn't even know about. How in her right mind did she figure she got to blame me for anything? How in the world did she think she could talk to me like this, or that I would allow it? "He knows your little fortune teller can't see Nessa."

"Nessa?" I was momentarily distracted from my own anger by the name.

"We named her Vanessa," Victoria said, daring a half-smile, and as she did, the vampire in me took over full reign. _Damn_ her! Damn _this_! We didn't need her to find James, or my daughter. Jasper could just keep tracking him, like we were before. I shot forward towards Victoria without giving it another thought, without even blinking. All I knew was blinding rage taking control of me.

"Bella!" Alice shouted, and Edward had me in his arms before I could reach Victoria. She kept the smile on her face, and I struggled more strongly in Edward's arms, baring my teeth and hissing.

"Calm down, love," Edward's voice reached out to me. As much as I could tell he was battling his own anger, he tried to restrain himself for my sake, and he tried his very best to calm me down. "Bella. Look at me." His hands were on my face next thing I knew, his voice calling out to me softly. I continued to stare at Victoria hard for a few moments longer, before finding Edward's eyes. I instantly felt my rage crumbling at the seams. It had nothing to do with Jasper's gift, but everything to do with the love I found in Edward's eyes. Unconditional.

He put a hand around my waist and pulled me to the other side of the room to calm me down further, one hand still cupping my face. "I'm okay." I put my forehead against his, and closed my eyes. If I'd been human, I would be telling myself to steady my breathing, but since breathing wasn't necessary for me, I focused on Edward's warm fingers on my face, his body close against my own. It definitely helped.

"What do you mean, Alice can't see her?" I heard Jasper ask Victoria behind me.

"Vanessa's shielded," Victoria answered. "Somehow." I could just imagine her rolling her eyes at Jasper. She sounded less than impressed. I opened my eyes, and looked up at Edward. Something that Victoria had said was still bothering me.

"Like you," Edward whispered softly. My daughter was shielded from Alice's visions like I was from Edward's gift?

"Hang on," I said, and took a few steps towards Victoria again. This time, I didn't let go of Edward's hand. "How can James possibly know that Alice can see the future?" I didn't tell him, and as far as I knew the Cullens didn't know him at all.

"Apparently they know each other from her human years," Victoria answered, looking at Alice before looking back up at me. "Don't delude yourself into thinking you were the first human he's ever chased for sports." And there it was again, blinding rage; Edward's hand was the only thing keeping me from going for her throat.

"Rose?" I said, raising an eyebrow, my lips forming in a hard straight line. "I changed my mind. You can rip something off."

Rosalie didn't even blink.

"Rose, no!" Alice threw herself between Victoria and Rosalie, holding our sister back with great force. Then she turned around and faced Victoria. "James knows me? From before I turned?" I couldn't blame Alice for asking, after all, I knew how liberating it was to find answers to unanswered puzzles.

"Don't worry, he never tasted your blood," Victoria full-on smiled this time. She knew exactly what she was doing to each and every one of us. "You were turned before he got that chance." Luckily Jasper was far calmer than the rest of us; he only growled at her.

"Wait wait, go back," I said, still confused about this entire situation. James had torn Victoria _apart_. His own companion. I didn't understand this at all. "You said James came after you? You weren't with him this entire time?" I shook my head.

Victoria's brave face fell at once. Instead, the plastered smirk on her face got replaced by her own personal rage. "We went separate ways two years ago," she said. Once again, my eyes went wide. Not only did I not understand, part of me was outraged to hear that after only three years after they took my life from me, Victoria and James fell apart. "I wasn't exciting enough for him anymore," her voice trailed off, and she sunk away in nostalgia.

"What are you doing in Seattle?" Edward asked suddenly, a question I hadn't even thought of asking. I didn't see the point either, but maybe he'd seen something in Victoria's mind.

"She wanted to meet you," Victoria looked at me when she spoke, her eyes fixed on my face, that undoubtedly read nothing but confusion. "She knew you'd be here."

"She... _what_?" I frowned. I didn't know what to think. I felt like my entire world was being turned upside down again, and this time I wasn't altogether sure I'd like the result.

"You never wondered why you were able to paint her at an older age?" Victoria sat up straighter again, probably noticing that she was getting the upper hand in the conversation. I'd been wrong to want her dead, clearly she had answers I was desperately seeking. "You're connected Bella, maybe it's some kind of extraction from James' tracker instinct." My eyes lost focus when I thought about it. How _was_ I able to see her so clearly? "You really didn't realise?" Victoria added.

"I've been seeing her for the past five years, but I didn't know she existed up until a few days ago!" I blurted out loudly, Edward's hands on my shoulders immediately. Part of me wanted him to let me go, so I could rip off Victoria's head violently and actually watch it reattach itself this time. Actually, that was all I could think about right now. How was I supposed to know anything? "How could I _possibly_ know?!" I shouted.

"So you don't remember?" Victoria stared at me as if she had only been stating the obvious up to now. "Me turning you?" her eyes narrowed on my face once again.

"What?!" Rosalie and me both shouted at the same time.

If I had been alive still, my heart would have stopped beating for countless of seconds. I never did know who turned me, how I came to be a vampire, how I'd ended up in that hospital. I wanted to shake the memory off me, I wanted to shake off this entire day, my entire history. This was starting to get too much to handle. "You're the one who turned me?" I asked, eyes wide, and glanced over at Edward. He was lost in thought, while he was – I assumed – scanning Victoria's thoughts for answers.

He looked at me after what seemed an eternity. "It's true," he said softly, a pained look in his eyes over what he just told me. I felt my stomach lurch, a sickening sensation filling my every pore, and the realisation that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't get all my answers after all. What if I didn't like what I found? So far the only thing I'd found was heartache and misery by digging into my past, and the knowledge that I'd let slip the one good thing to ever come of it. _Vanessa_.

Edward protectively put an arm around me. "Wh-why did you turn me?" I stuttered, holding onto Edward for dear life. Something in me pushed the words past my lips.

"I guess that would have been easier, wouldn't it?" Victoria raised an eyebrow. "Just letting you die, never knowing what I took from you." She got lost in thought for a few moments, no doubt remembering better times for her, but then a pained expression shot across her features. "But I just couldn't." She looked back up at me.

"You..." I started, but the thought alone seemed ridiculous, out of place, insane. "... you _pitied_ me?" I asked. Edward looked away from Victoria before she spoke again; I could only imagine what horrible images he was seeing. My human body torn to pieces, blood everywhere.

"To be honest I didn't even know it would work," Victoria said, losing herself in thought again. "Venom can work wonders but some wounds are just too severe. But I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I just had to bite you, that's all." In retrospect it wasn't a huge feat; all Victoria had to do was sink her teeth into me and the venom did the rest of the work. She obviously didn't pity me enough to see if the transformation took. I was just a vessel.

"There's one thing I never understood," I said, and took a step closer to Victoria. One thing I'd wondered about for the past five years. "Why me?" Not that I wished what I went through on anyone else, but I couldn't help but wonder. Why had he found his way to me that night, what had driven him to come talk to me about my paintings?

"Why not? James is the one that picked you, not me." Victoria shrugged, but that answer was in no way good enough for me. I stared at her hard, and she stared back in silence for long moments. Eventually, she gave in. "You weren't scared off him. Most humans react to us in a certain way, they know something is off, but you didn't seem to notice the danger you were putting yourself in." Her eyes darkened again. "Oh, he liked you alright. Still does from what I hear."

"What does he want from me now?" I frowned. Way I saw it, he'd only been trying to put distance between him and me. But he did attack Lauren for a reason.

"Maybe he's getting lonely." Victoria didn't look at me, but stared down at her hands instead. "Maybe he's only just figured out you're still alive. Who knows," she shrugged.

"You still love him." The words were out before I'd realised.

Victoria didn't answer me.

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	31. Whispers

**author's notes: **is there really any point in me apologizing for my prolonged absence? this story is almost a year old, and i feel terrible for having made you wait this long for a new chapter, especially since i only need a few more to wrap this story up. still, i hope that those getting alerts for this story won't dislike me all too much, and like the update.

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Rosalie, Victoria

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** _fic•tion_ [fíksh'n]: literary works of imagination

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 31:** Whispers

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_(Bella's POV)_

Two months. That's all it had taken. That's all it took to go from living a life I hated and in which I loathed my own existence to one that I wouldn't give up for the entire world. I'd found a new way of living, a new way of surviving. I'd found a family, one that had taken me in without knowing me, without knowing if I would ever adapt to their lifestyle, without even knowing I wanted to. Or maybe Alice had known all along. After all, she could see people's futures if she focused on them, see the possibilities splayed out in front of her eyes. I really had to ask her about that sometime.

Did she know I'd find the love of my life as well? Because Edward, well, he was everything I had ever dreamed about and more. How did I ever get so lucky? What had I ever done to deserve any of this, most of all Edward? I'd never done anything with my life, human or otherwise, I'd simply been going through the motions, abiding my time it seemed, until the moment I would meet my one true love. _Edward_. He was always the one I had been waiting for all this time, all my life.

I thought my life had been perfect. It was perfect, in every way. I'd gained a mother and father that loved me unconditionally, two sisters that had locked me in their arms before even really knowing me, and two absolutely wonderful brothers. And Edward. How could I have ever believed that what I had with James resembled love in any way? It wasn't love at all; I had been drawn to him like a moth to a flame, but only through some sort of naive fascination. That wasn't love, that wasn't even a crush. That was me being utterly foolish. But it had led me to Edward.

Right now I knew that no matter how perfect a life the Cullens could offer me, how complete a life I could lead with them and Edward by my side for the rest of eternity, there was still one thing missing, one thing keeping me from being complete. My daughter. Vanessa. It took all my strength to keep Victoria alive still, but I needed more answers from her. Despite my hate for her, despite Rosalie's and Jasper's wish to just rip her to pieces, I needed her to fill in the blanks. I wanted her to tell me what I'd find, if I ever found my daughter. She felt a part of me, yes, but there was still a distance between me and her that for the moment seemed unbridgeable.

Would I ever find her? And if I did, what on earth would I say to her? I'd been connected to Vanessa her entire life, but I didn't know her, not like a mother raising her own daughter would. She was raised by two people I had hated my entire vampire life, cursed to hell and back, and a slow death by my own hands. And now one of those people had the answers I was so desperately seeking.

"Tell me about her," I told Victoria, standing directly in front of her a few feet away, flanked by Rosalie to my left, and Edward to my right. Jasper and Alice were out hunting. Edward had told Jasper he could go, that he had everything under control with me and Rosalie there and being able to read Victoria's mind, but it was clear to everyone that Jasper was extremely reluctant to let Victoria out of his sight for a single second. And truthfully, with his gift to temper emotions, I would have been grateful to have him here now. I was still so very tempted to kill her, something I couldn't afford doing if I wanted more answers.

Victoria stared up at me for a long time. Edward didn't say anything, so I guessed he knew she would answer me eventually. Did she really pity me, or was she afraid for her life? The thought of her raising my daughter, the thought of her knowing Vanessa better than me, loving her, and Vanessa loving her back, was ripping me apart inside. "She grew so fast," Victoria says. She got to see everything; her first steps, her first words. I wondered what they were. "She drinks human blood, but human food can sustain her as well." And she had a blush in her cheeks that could make her pass as human; that much I had seen for myself. "And she's beautiful, so beautiful." There was a reverie in Victoria's voice that took me aback completely. She didn't sound like the same woman that had taken my baby, that had ripped her away from me so violently and had left me to die. Right now, she sounded like a mother.

I looked up at Edward, instinctively grabbing hold of his hand. Could he see my Vanessa in Victoria's mind? Could he see her like I saw her in my mind sometimes? Could he see my daughter in Victoria's arms, in James' arms, happy and smiling, unknowing what they did to me? Edward looked at me, his golden-brown eyes riddled with a sentiment I could never put into words. He couldn't read my mind purposely, but in those eyes I saw how he shared in my pain, how he cared for me, loved me, and how badly he wanted to give me everything I wanted. In a way, I knew he'd love my daughter the way I did, despite her being James' daughter too.

"How—" I started, still staring up at Edward. But I needed to know, so I tore my eyes away from Edward, and looked down at Victoria again. "How old does she look now?" Vanessa wasn't human, and she wasn't entirely vampire either. Exactly how different was she? I'd seen her grow in my mind for such a long time now. Would she know me as I would know her?

"About ten."

"T—" I tried to repeat the word, but Victoria's hit me like a slap to the face, knocking the breath right out of me. Ten? That was twice the age she was supposed to look. In reality it would always be just five years, but how much had she learned about our world? Did she, like I once had, believe that only human blood could sustain her? She must have some idea that Victoria couldn't possibly be her real mother? Would she care? After all, she'd been raised by Victoria.

"Bella," I heard Alice's sing-song voice behind me, Jasper and her returning from their hunt. All in all, I wasn't feeling as incapacitated as I thought I'd feel, but that had everything to do with Jasper's gift suddenly there to temper my emotions. Thank God for him. "Are you okay?" Alice asked and put an arm around my shoulder, Jasper following closely behind.

I wasn't okay, not by far, and the only thing that would make me okay now was knowing my daughter was safe, out of James' claws, in my life the way I wanted her. I wasn't sure if I could ever be a mother to her, if that was still even possible after all these years, but I hoped, so feverishly, that at the very least she would let me try. Please God, I had prayed - even though I wasn't a big believer - please God, let her recognize me, let her connect to me. I stared down at Victoria again, the very reason why I didn't already have that connection to my daughter. How could she have done that to me? Stolen my baby, rip into my body and take her from me? Anger settled at the base of my spin out of the blue. Anguish. White-seething hatred.

"Kill her," I spat, the words out before I realized that's what I really wanted. But there it was; my final verdict. There was nothing in me that would ever, or _could_ ever grant her the same pity she perhaps granted me five years ago. But I realized I was a far less vicious creature than she or James were; I looked at Jasper, my eyes pleading with him. "Just—" I started, but he reciprocated immediately to my unspoken words with a short nod. _Put her at ease_, I wanted to say, but I was grateful Jasper's intuitive gift made it unnecessary to say it; I didn't need Victoria to know that deep down maybe I did pity her. I felt conflicted. She had taken my daughter from me, yes, but in the years that followed something had mellowed inside her and made her realize that her mate, her _one true_ mate, was no good for her. I couldn't imagine the pain she still felt over that.

"Close your eyes," Jasper said as he and Rosalie both grabbed hold of one of Victoria's arms. Edward threw an arm around me, and pulled me close, his lips against my temple. I couldn't look away though, not when Victoria closed her eyes, not when Alice tore her head from her torso. She didn't scream. I felt grateful for that.

When it was over, and Victoria once again lay torn to pieces at my feet, Edward led me away, up to the roof of the warehouse. A shudder ran through me when the sweet smell of Victoria's burning body reached us up there. I felt at peace over my decision; she'd gotten five years with a child she'd always wanted; I'd gotten my revenge.

"Tell me what she looks like," I asked Edward, his arms wrapped around me from behind, his chest warm against my back. I needed him there, holding me tightly, holding me together in one piece in every way imaginable. I knew what she looked like in the images that came to me from time to time – I imagined they came to me in the way that Alice's visions came to her, only mine didn't hit me so hard. But Edward had seen her in Victoria's mind; those images had to be more clear than what I saw.

"She's beautiful, Bella," Edward whispered softly against the shell of my ear, his breath a soft caress against my skin. "I wish I could—" He wished he could show me, I realized, just as much as I wished I could see for myself. I guessed he didn't finish his statement because he knew I already felt that way. "She's like nothing you've ever seen." I knew she was more perfect than I could possibly imagine. "She has your colour hair and—"

"And my eyes too," I added, feeling Edward's arms tightening around me. He knew just how to comfort me right. "It's strange, I always thought she'd look like— James— too," my voice trailed off, because mentioning James now, here, felt out place. He always felt out of place; he never had one in my life, my memories, and he deserved it even less. I briefly wondered how much restraint it took from Edward to not just hunt James down and tear him to pieces. I couldn't imagine it was easy for him.

"I'm so sorry," Edward mumbled, his lips in my hair, breathing me in deeply. "We _will_ find her, Bella," he assured me, and there wasn't a single doubt in my mind that we wouldn't. With my family by my side, I felt like I could take on the world. "We won't stop until we do."

I turned in Edward's arms, facing him, his hands sneaking around my waistline. "And what will happen when we do?" I asked, looking up at him. "Will she even want to know me?"

"Bella, you are her mother," Edward said strongly, moving his hand to my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin. "You'll know that, and so will she. There's nothing stronger than that bond." I hoped he was right, every single cell in my body wished I could just close my eyes and see where she was right now. Instead, I cast down my eyes.

"James and Victoria raised her." I shook my head. "She won't be—" _like you_, I almost said, until I remembered I was part of this family now, and I fed on animal blood like the other Cullens. In a lot of ways, I thought I was already considered a Cullen by the rest of them. Bella Cullen; it did have a nice ring to it. "—like us," I added, still not looking up at Edward. I didn't want to feel this way, like somehow – through raising my daughter as her own – Victoria had won, James had won. I wanted to believe Edward so very badly.

"You've been seeing her for the past five years," Edward said softly, his other hand moving to my face too. He forced me to look up at him through his gentle touch. "You _know_ her," he stressed, and in that moment, I believed it completely. How was it that he could speak such clear words to me now, while I knew for a fact he was struggling as much as I was? "You're connected. She'll trust you."

"I love you," were all the right words I could find.

"And I love you, love." Edward kissed my forehead and then hugged me tight again. I buried my face in his chest, and closed my eyes. "We'll get through this."

"Together," I said.

"Together," he echoed.

I shut my eyes tightly, and held on to Edward for dear life, but I had no sooner done so or an image flashed behind my eyelids that shook me completely. I saw James, in threefold, like he was in a room of mirrors, and a little girl reflected similarly in them. James? What the hell did he have to do with this moment? He was facing me in this strange vision, his eyes red and fierce, his gaze piercing and burning holes in me. I moved my head from Edward's chest immediately.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked me, looking at me worriedly.

"Nothing," I answered too fast, but still managed to look up at him and smile. Was this a memory? No, it couldn't be. It had to have been one of my strange connections with Vanessa. But why now? Was this her doing? Or was this my will to find her reaching her in such a way that I could see everything through her eyes?

I looked up at Edward, and pressed my lips to his, but as soon as I closed my eyes the same images played in front of my eyes. The mirrors, a room filled with mirrors. I recognized that room. But from where? I kissed Edward feverishly, my eyes tightly shut still, hoping to get rid of the images, to rid myself of James' reflection in what were now a dozen mirrors, those red evil angry eyes trying to tell me something I refused to hear. My hands tangled in Edward's hair, and I pulled him closer, pushing my body up against his closely.

"Bella." Edward pushed me back gently, his lips leaving mine reluctantly, I noticed. "Bella, love," he repeated, and kissed my forehead again. "You have to slow down." But he didn't let me go, his strong arms were still firmly around me and I was as close to him as ever.

"I know. I'm sorry," I said, and all of a sudden I felt guilty for using Edward to shake off my thoughts about James. But Edward hadn't seemed to particularly mind.

"Edward. Bella." Edward didn't turn his head, but over his shoulder I could see Rosalie joining us on the roof.

"We should go hunt," Edward said, and I knew he really meant to ask me along, but I wasn't sure if I could move at all. As thirsty as I found myself at the mere mention of a meal, my focus was still too one-track to let it bother me, or get in the way of our mission. I looked up at him, hoping to convey some meaning with my eyes. "You're staying." He smiled softly. It didn't seem he was going to go through great lengths to convince me to come. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, and leaned in, brushing his lips against mine, pressing the most bitter-sweet kiss I had ever received to my lips.

I disentangled my fingers from his reluctantly, releasing them one by one, until Edward left the rooftop, following Rosalie out of the building seconds later to find a prey. I was left standing alone, and I guessed the only reason that Alice or Jasper didn't join me was because they could sense I was at reasonable ease. And I was. Things were falling more and more into their right place, pieces to my complicated puzzle of a life dropping where they had been carved out painfully five years ago. I went back inside for a few moments to grab the sketch book I had brought along with me; I never left home without one. When I was back up on the roof, the city stretched out in bright tiny lights in front of me, I seated myself on the edge, legs dangling precariously into thin air. I knew I wouldn't lose my balance.

And then I started sketching what I had previously seen, James in threefold, Vanessa reflected in multiple mirrors. I drew an arch on top of the page, the room taking shape as I applied the charcoal to the white sheet of paper, drawing line after line from memory. It's only when the drawing was finished that I took a proper look at it, and allowed myself to think it through. It was a sketch of my old ballet studio; my mom had send me to take lessons there when I was a little girl. Needless to say, I sucked hopelessly. My old ballet studio? I frowned to myself. James went back to Phoenix. Of course, he was retracing his steps, that way it was exponentially harder for Jasper to track him. It made total sense. The look in James' eyes endowed me with a fear that I had rarely felt before. They told me to come after him alone. Come alone or die. Come alone or Vanessa dies.

Behind that fear however, lay something much darker, a feeling much more recent. It was worse than anger, my hatred for him pulsed through my veins like venom. The only reason he'd torn Victoria to pieces was because she never would have let Vanessa go with him. As much as it pained me to admit it, Victoria cared for my daughter properly, like a real mother would, like a real mother _should_, but James, he was just using her so that Alice couldn't see him. That son of a bitch, that sanctimonious self-serving asshole. How could he do that to Victoria? How could he do that to me? How could he do that to – I mentally cringed – _our_ daughter? I couldn't sit by and let him get away with this. I knew where he was now. I was going down there and get my daughter back, even if it was the last thing I ever did.

"Bella, what did you just decide?" Alice was up on the roof with me before I even heard her move. "Your future just completely disappeared!" she squealed, but I wished she could have done it more calmly; now I was pretty sure Jasper heard it too – if not her voice, he'd have definitely caught her sudden distress.

"I— it's Vanessa," I said, deciding the truth was probably the best way to go with Alice. The truth, but not the whole truth. James was fully capable of killing mercilessly. I was living proof of that. "She's in danger. I need to go to her. I have to talk to James. Stop him if I can."

"Bella, let us go with you." Alice grabbed hold of one of my hands, her eyes pleading with me. "We're your family now, let us protect you. Let me talk to Carlisle and—"

I was shaking my head before she could finish. "Alice, no," I hushed her, squeezing her small hand in mine. "You don't—" How could I say this to her? James was _my_ past, _my_ problem, the one and only thing left wrong and unresolved in my world. And now he had Vanessa. Having my family by my side would give me strength in numbers, but I couldn't ask this of them. "You can't see that future. If anything were to happen to any of you I would never forgive myself." James was fast, so very fast, and unbelievably strong. I hated to admit it, but he was probably stronger than Edward.

If crying had been possible for our kind, Alice would have been in tears. But I knew she found little to object to. Just like I wasn't about to risk Edward's life, she knew she could never risk Jasper's.

"Alice please, whatever you do, don't tell your brother. _Please_," I begged with every ounce of strength I had. Even if she couldn't see that future, Jasper could track me; I had no idea how to disguise my own tracks like James knew how to.

"I can't do that!" Alice shook her head. "He cares about you."

"And I care enough about him to make sure nothing happens to him." I couldn't live in a world where Edward didn't exist. But I refused to live in a world where James had my daughter, and she wasn't by my side.

"So I should let you leave and catch your death?" Alice's eyes went wide. "I don't think so."

"James doesn't want me dead," I said gravely, playing my last card. He was taunting me, going back to Phoenix, probably allowing Vanessa to send me that image of him. He wanted me to come to him, alone, or I yet saw him capable of hurting his own child. But he didn't want to kill me. I shuddered at the thought of what he did want me for. "Please Alice, if you value your brother's life, Jasper's life, you won't tell _anyone_," I stressed, and I saw the tiniest flicker of doubt in Alice's eyes. "What if this was Jasper, Alice? Wouldn't you do everything in your power to keep him safe?"

Alice had nothing on that. "He'll read my mind," she still tried, shaking her head desperately. "Jasper will read my anxiety. Even if I could disguise my thoughts, I can't fool Jasper." Well, there was that, but I knew Jasper trusted Alice completely. He would do anything she asked of him.

"Then try long enough for me to get away." I let go of her hand, pushing past her back inside, but something stopped me fast in my tracks. I turned and looked at Alice again. "Tell Edward that I—"

"He knows," Alice interrupted me before I could push all the words from my mouth.

"Bella," I heard Jasper's voice behind us suddenly. I turned to look at him. Did he hear everything Alice and I had just said? Would he try to stop me as well? With his gift he might just be able to. To my surprise he said something that took me completely by surprise. "You'll need to feed before the journey," he said.

"Jasper—" I started, but what more could I possibly say? He was looking out for me like a real brother would have done. It was so incredibly touching. And in all fairness, I might not have been that thirsty, some blood in my system could help me when I faced James.

"It's okay, Bella," Jasper smiled at me softly, and walked over to us. "I trust Alice blindly, but I've come to trust you too."

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I returned the embrace. I didn't really want to go and face James, but I had to. Not only did I have the strong will to keep Edward away from this, I also had a responsibility to my daughter. And if that meant finally facing off with James, then so be it. I would do whatever it took to make her safe again. "Be careful," Alice said. "And come back."

"I will," I assured her. But in truth, I had no idea how this was going to end for me. I knew I had the physical strength to kill Jasper myself, hell, with all the anger I felt towards him I probably didn't even need vampire strength. But what about mental strength? Last time I had seen him – during one of the most traumatic experiences in my entire life – I had been human. The way he had rejected me back then had tore me in half, the thought of him, my hate for him now, shook me to the bone. But I had to try, for Vanessa.

Jasper and I ran to the outskirts of town together; he helped me avoid Edward's and Rosalie's trail; if Edward were to catch my scent on his way back to the warehouse he'd know something was wrong, he'd follow me back to Phoenix. And I couldn't have him do that too soon – I knew for a fact that he would never stay put – but I needed time with James. If James found out about Edward, he'd kill him, he'd kill me, he'd kill Vanessa. No, best Edward didn't know at all. I prayed that Alice could keep him with her long enough.

"Be careful Bella, wherever you're going," Jasper said. I realized then that I was going in absolutely alone. No one but me knew where I was going. Alice couldn't see my future, Edward had no way to reach my thoughts. I was alone in this, but it was for the best. I hoped. "Edward won't stay put once he finds out you're gone."

"Try to put him at ease," I said, and took one final glance over my shoulder. The city looked exactly the same; somehow, going to face my darkest fears, I felt like it should have looked different. "Remember, James won't kill me," I stressed, hoping to show Jasper just how adamant I felt about this. "But he will kill Edward if he gets the chance."

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**please read and review!**

next chapter: James**  
**


	32. James

**author's notes: **apologizing is futile, i know this. so i'm just hoping i haven't been a complete disappointment and that you'll enjoy the new chapter. thanks a million to everyone putting up with me :)

**characters (this chapter):** Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Rosalie, James, Vanessa (OC)

**warnings:** au. wip. all vampire. all canon pairings/characters. changing POVs (underlined)

**disclaimer:** _fic•tion_ [fíksh'n]: literary works of imagination

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**IN THE SHADOWS**

**chapter 32:** James

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_(Edward POV)_

Victoria's remains were still smouldering on the warehouse floor when Rosalie and I got back from our hunt, the scent sweet and distinct, but only to our kind. I set off to look for Bella as soon as we arrived, but I didn't find her on the roof where I'd left her. Her sketchbook lay on the ground, but Bella was nowhere to be seen. I went back downstairs, and found Alice, without Jasper, now joined by Rosalie as well. "Where's Bella?" I asked, unsuspecting, but Alice wasn't looking at me. In fact, she was doing everything in her power not to look at me. And in her mind she was humming 80s love ballads. "Alice?" I insisted, and she turned, trying to make it look like she'd only then realized I was there. I knew instantly something was off. Where was Jasper?

"Jasper took her out to hunt," Alice answered, a small smile curling her lips. I knew Bella had to feed sooner or later; when I'd left her earlier I thought she needed some more time first to gather her thoughts, the way only my Bella could. At least Jasper was still around to take her hunting. Something told me Bella had never been more grateful for my brother's gift. "Turns out she was pretty thirsty after all. I think she needed Jasper's gift to put her at ease." Alice's words were in chime with my thinking. Her thoughts were still a mystery to me.

"She seemed fine when we left her," Rosalie said, but didn't make anything more of it. She didn't know Bella the way I did, despite knowing her like a sister. Bella would always be a different sister to Rosalie than Alice was; they had completely different personalities after all.

"Yeah, well, this is Bella we're talking about," Alice shrugged, her words – once again – the same as my thoughts.

Jasper arrived moments later. To my surprise, Bella didn't follow immediately after him. The room fell completely silent, a tension between Alice and Jasper that I found particularly hard to place when I realized that Jasper, too, was hiding his thoughts from me – in truth, he could do that more easily than the others. "Jasper," I frowned, a tension now between Rose and me when she realized something wasn't right either. "Where's Bella?"

Jasper looked at Alice; I followed his gaze towards her. Mine moved to Rosalie moments later; she was just as confused as I was. What was going on? Where was Bella? She still hadn't arrived and I knew she wasn't up on the roof. I would have heard it if she was.

"What's going on here?" Rosalie asked suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked from Jasper to Alice several times. Alice cast down her eyes, and that's when I knew. "_Where_ is Bella?" Rosalie insisted, and I swallowed hard. _No_, I thought, she couldn't have. Bella wouldn't. But I knew she would.

"She went after James alone, didn't she?" I asked, staring down at the ground, my hands clenched into fists by my sides. It was more a conclusion than it was a question, because I already knew it to be true. Where else would she be? Why else would Alice and Jasper disguise their thoughts from me? They only ever did that when they didn't want me to know something that could harm me. And what could harm me more than knowing Bella was in danger?

"_What_?" Rose snapped, looking at Jasper now. "And you let her go?" There was an accusation in Rosalie's voice that I had left out of my words. What had convinced Jasper that it was safe to let Bella go? There must have been a reason. Knowing my brother, and my sister, they never would have let Bella go without making sure she was safe.

"Where did she go?" I asked, but already read the answer in Jasper's thoughts. Bella hadn't told them where she was going, just that she was going after James. How could she do that? She had to know what she was putting me – and by extension all of us – through right now.

"She didn't tell us." Jasper shook his head and took a step closer to me. "She told us to keep you away long enough for her to get away."

"She got away," I said, not looking at Jasper. I didn't blame him, even though I easily could have, but this was Bella we were talking about. I imagine that right now, with her daughter's life at stake, she could convince just about anyone to let her go. Everyone, except for me. "Jasper, you're going to track her," I ordered, and saw Alice spring in action immediately. She clearly wanted to go after Bella as much as I did. She hated being in the dark. "She doesn't know how to cover her tracks, it shouldn't be hard to follow."

"That'll take too long," Rosalie said, and helped Alice pack our things together. I looked around for Bella's bag, but I remembered I'd seen it on the roof a few minutes earlier.

"It's the only way, Rose," I said, and took off upstairs fast.

"Edward." I heard Jasper's voice behind me once I reached Bella's things.

"We don't _discuss_ this, Jasper," I snapped, too fast. Whatever it was that Jasper was trying to tell me, I wouldn't have it. I knew Bella believed she was protecting us, me, and perhaps she was. But I wasn't about to let her face her biggest nightmare on her own. And I knew why James wanted her with him. "She's never fought vampires before. Even if she's somehow stronger than James, which I doubt, she doesn't stand a chance." James ripped Victoria to pieces; now he needed someone else by his side. My heart ached at the thought of Bella by his side again. I was never going to allow him to touch Bella again.

_James won't kill me._ I heard Bella's voice echoing through Jasper's mind._ But he will kill Edward if he gets the chance._

I closed my eyes for a brief second, forcing myself to stay calm. "That's a chance I'm willing to take." This much was clear to me; I couldn't live in a world where I knew Bella was unhappy, and by James' side she truly would be. Could she give up everything we had to be with her daughter? But somehow I knew I already had the answer to that. "Wait," I said when something on the ground caught my eye. It was one of Bella's sketches. It looked new. "Did she sketch this?" I asked, turning around to face Jasper.

"You recognize it?" Jasper frowned.

"Yeah, it's where—" I started, but to utter the words just seemed too cruel. Why would James want her _there_? What possible purpose could it serve? "It's her old ballet studio back in Phoenix," I explained to Jasper, and my heart rejoiced. Now at least we knew where she'd be, and I was going there, no matter what. "Let's go."

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_(Bella POV)_

I was anything but prepared for this. What was I thinking I could face James on my own? The closer I got to Phoenix, the more a feeling of despair crept up on me, a sense that tried to get me to back away, to turn around and run for Edward's arms. But something else, instinctual, maternal, kept heralding me closer. My life didn't matter, only Vanessa's. Still, I couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that Phoenix no longer felt like my home. I knew my home was with Edward and the Cullens now. A home I would bring Vanessa into no matter what it took.

The memories of my human life as a child had mostly faded, but when I laid eyes on my old ballet studio, to which I thought I hadn't returned since childhood, something seemed eerily familiar about it. I knew in the moment I walked through the door that I had been there not long before turning into a vampire. What was it about the place?

It wasn't cold inside, but I shivered nonetheless, my footsteps resounding through the big mirrored room. It looked just like how I'd sketched it not an hour ago; dark, tall mirrors lining the walls; the same reflection in them. In the centre of the room, still as a statue, stood the very man that took away everything I had ever loved in my human life.

"_James_." My voice shook with fear. I had pictured this very moment in my head thousands of times, but I never could have imagined I would feel like this. I felt weak in his presence, despite what I had become, despite my resolve, despite my hate for him.

"Isabella," he said, tilting his head, and a coy smile spread across his lips. The sound of my name coming from him chilled me to the bone. "You're alone," he added matter-of-factly.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I asked, unable to move. My legs felt like lead. "I mean, you don't want me dead." Of that I was absolutely certain. If James had wanted me dead I would already _be_ dead.

"Perceptive as ever, I see." Another smile, bringing back so many memories I truly wished they had faded. How could he have ever pretended to love me? How could I have ever mistaken that love for real, now that I knew what it really felt like with Edward?

I shook my head, and looked around the room. What was it that made me feel so uncomfortable? I knew this room, I had been there before, not just as a child. I'd been here with James once before. When— no, _oh no_. I almost choked on the mere thought of James bringing me back here. The night he tore me to pieces. This is where Vanessa was born. Why would he bring me here? "Where's Vanessa?" I asked, jaw clenched in anger. My fear was waning, being replaced by something much darker and much more empowering.

"She's here, don't worry. I haven't harmed her," James answered, his eyes narrowing precariously on my face. He was looking at me as if he didn't know where to place me, as if he didn't know what I was. I realized then he'd never seen me as a vampire. "What do you think of the stage I've chosen?" he asked, eyes darkening. "Poetic, don't you think?" I looked around again, seeing myself lying torn and bloody on the floor, Victoria taking from me the one thing I couldn't possibly love more in this world. It was the same room Edward had seen me in when I'd shown him my memories.

"I _want_ to see Vanessa," I snapped, looking back at James. He owed me that much – he owed me so much more than he could ever give me. I wondered if he could grasp what he took from me all those years ago. I doubted he was capable of feeling remorse the way Victoria had.

"Nessa, darling," James said, and stretched out his right arm. "Come to daddy." I heard the soft shuffling of tiny feet to the left side of the room. I knew what was coming, who would make her way out of the shadows seconds later. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. There was only hope. The girl that appeared from the dark was everything I had ever dreamed her to be, everything I'd imagined she would be. But never in my wildest fantasies could I have believed my eyes when I saw her moving towards James, and taking him by the hand. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" James asked, but I was beyond hearing anything clearly. Of course she was perfect, a mini-Bella, with my thick brown curls and big brown eyes, a teddy bear hugged close to her body. She was perfect. "Perfect in every way but one."

I almost missed the words in my reverie, but they hit me like a tidal wave. "Excuse me?" I frowned, almost choking on the question. Where in his right mind did he justify calling my daughter anything less than perfect? Did he know it was the biggest insult you could ever put to a creature so tiny, so perfect, so beautiful?

"Her humanity, Isabella," James said as if it was something obvious to me. I was grateful for her humanity, it would mean that she could lead a somewhat normal life, the life James had deprived me off when it became Victoria's obsession to have a child. "Of course it was the only way. Victoria wanted a child, the one ability her vampire life had deprived her off. I indulged her. That was a mistake." I flashed back to the look of hurt in Victoria's eyes. He truly meant to get her killed. "After so many years with that child, even Victoria grew a heart. It made no never mind to me, I took a liking to our daughter as would anyone. But it made Victoria weak, vulnerable."

"_Human_?" I spat, and balled my hands into fists by my sides.

James laughed loudly, a very unsettling sound. He was actually enjoying putting me through this. Just like he'd once enjoyed making me fall in love with him; it had all been a game. "But look at you, my Bella," he said, knocking the breath right out of me. How could he possibly think I would ever be his Bella again? After what he did to me? But I knew the hunter in him regarded me as the one that had gotten away alive. "So beautiful and strong. Driven." I wondered if he knew exactly why I was driven. "There's no trace of that fragile little human I met all those years ago. How _did_ that happen?"

"Because Victoria _bit me_, you bastard!" I shouted, loudly, too loud, because before I knew it Vanessa buried her face in her teddy bear, and her small shoulders started shaking while she hid her tears from me. Something inside of me snapped, the ground washed away from under me and I hurtled to the floor on my knees. "Oh Vanessa, I'm sorry," I blurted out, and if I could have cried myself I would have. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—" the words caught in my throat. I was defeated, James had won, here I was, his for the taking once again. I cast down my eyes, staring at the floor.

"Mommy's just a little upset, sweetheart," I heard James say. "Why don't you go and give her a hug?" I looked up again, and frowned. Why would he ask her to do that? Why was he putting me through this excruciatingly painful experience, more painful than the wound of having lost Vanessa in the first place? I saw right there and then, how my own daughter, my own flesh and blood, loved James, trusted him, like I once had. It was enough to tear me apart.

Time slowed down around me as Vanessa took her first careful step towards me, hesitant yet with a childish curiosity I reveled to see in her. How unlike James she was; she was me entirely, and I had never been more grateful for that then in those moments that closed the distance between us. I didn't move when she halted in front of me, I didn't even pretend to breathe. All I saw was her perfection, and felt a blooming of my heart unlike anything I had experienced in either of my lifetimes. She raised a little hand to my face, and placed it on my cheek. "Mommy," she whispered, the very word leaving me a mess inside. Yes, I was her mother. And yes, she was my daughter.

"Oh, my baby," I cried, though I could not shed tears. I put my hand on her cheek, the other smoothing down her brown curls. "My beautiful baby girl. Look at you," I said, and I saw tears running down her cheeks that didn't come from fear of me, no, she cried because she loved me. I now saw what had changed Victoria so crucially, what had mellowed her over the five years she stole from me, spend with my daughter. I could never hate Victoria again. But James, that was a different story. I looked at him over Vanessa's shoulder, and my eyes darkened on his face. "I'm taking her," I said, and stooped up from the ground, taking Vanessa's by the hand.

"I don't think so," James said, the same playful smile colouring his lips. What did he hope to achieve by bringing me here alone? "I didn't ask you to come here to claim what's ours." And what made him think that I would ever think about an _us_ again?

"Then why?" I asked, hand tightening around Vanessa's smaller one, holding what was _mine_.

"Join me, Bella." The phrase hit me like lightning. That's what this was all about? Getting me alone, showing me Vanessa and hoping I would— The feeling of confusion and disgust at the pit of my stomach must have been readily on my face, because James just continued. "Look at what we created together." I wanted to yell at him: _look at what you created _despite_ what you did to me! Despite having had you as a parent!_ but I was too stumped to say anything at all. "Wouldn't it be better for her to know both her parents? To be raised by both her parents?"

"You want us to—" but before I could say it James took a step closer to me. I staggered on my feet and shuffled two steps back. I couldn't risk him getting any closer.

"I want us to be a family," James said. A feeling of despair took hold of me. Why was he being so confident? Was he that sure I'd join him? But I knew that if it was the only chance I had of protecting Vanessa, I would join him willingly. _How_ could I have been so stupid? _Why_ did I have to do this alone? I had an entire family that was willing to fight alongside me; we could have taken James easily. But what _about_ Vanessa? James and Victoria was all she had known for five years. I couldn't just rip them away from her like she had once been torn away from me. Could I?

"How can you even—?" I shook my head. "What do you—?" I blinked, but failed to find the words. I guessed he knew what I was trying to say. "After what you _did_ to me?" I shouted, and felt Vanessa startle next to me. This time, however, she didn't cry. James noticed, and took another step closer. I knew I had already taken too many steps away from him before he'd figure out my intentions.

"I know I can't expect your forgiveness—" he continued.

"You don't _deserve_ my forgiveness." I said it too fast, because before I knew it James rushed me and he was mere inches away. Vanessa shivered next to me, and started crying again.

"But don't you think we owe this to our daughter?" James asked. I was the one who shivered now. He was too close, he was going to— "What is that—?" James frowned and tilted his head, breathing in deeply through his nose.

I pulled Vanessa behind me roughly, but she went willingly. "Vanessa, _run_," I commanded.

"Nessa, _don't_," James insisted, while violently grabbing a handful of my hair, pulling my head back.

"RUN, Vanessa!" I screamed, and then James turned me around, pulling me towards his body. I heard the tatter of Vanessa's shoes on the hard-wood floors beneath us. _Please God, let her get away_, I prayed, closing my eyes as I felt James' hand tearing roughly at my hair.

"You have someone else's scent all over you, Bella," James murmured against my skin, running his nose along my neck. My breathing deepened, nausea setting in; I'd told myself long ago I would never let him do this to me again. He wasn't going to leave me in pieces this time. "It's the youngest one, isn't it? The mind-reader?" James asked, and I gasped. How could he know about Edward? Had he been watching the Cullens? "How did you get him to stay behind, I wonder. Or doesn't he know where you are?"

I struggled against his hold, but James tightened his free arm around my torso, pinning my arms against my body. "Edward has _nothing_ to do with this," I growled, and struggled harder, like I once had. Only now, it seemed it was actually having an effect. I knew I could be just as strong as he was, I wasn't a weak little human anymore.

"Oh, my Bella, he has _everything_ to do with this," James laughed. No, I couldn't let him get away from here. Even if it meant my own death I would never allow him to go after Edward or the rest of my family. "Is he your one true love?" James asked, voice laced with anger and contempt. _Yes_, the answer echoed through my mind, but I never got a chance to say it. I guessed James already knew the answer.

He grabbed me by the arm, so strongly that I felt my vampire skin crack underneath the impact of it. He whirled me around, and suddenly a white-hot pain cut through me, more cracks forming across my skin. James tore off my right arm without breaking a sweat. A scream cut through the room that I failed to recognize as my own, and gravity once again pulled me to the floor. I knew he would try to make his way across the room now, so I turned and grabbed his ankle, pulling him back with every ounce of strength I had left in my body. James, too, crashed to the ground. But he was up again in no time; he had undoubtedly done this many times before.

He walked over to me, grabbed my head in both his hands, and smashed it hard against the floor. I felt both the wood underneath me and my skull crack, leaving my eyesight blurred, my thoughts swimming, and the rest of my body open to further violation. James tore off the hand of my other arm without giving it another thought. A hiss crawled up my throat but it came out as a growl. I had never been so mad in my entire life, anger pulsing in my veins, the venom swirling in my mouth. But I couldn't for the moment move an inch.

"You know, Bella, I'm disappointed," James said. Something – humans would call it pride – kept him right there with me, instead of going after Vanessa. I hoped, _prayed_ she'd gotten away, even though I realized that I had just set her free in a world entirely unknown to her. "When I found your little art gallery here in Phoenix I didn't believe it at first. _Isabella Swan_. Famous artist. But you still sign all your paintings with the same little squiggle. It didn't take me very long to find you, in that quaint little town, surrounded by your new coven."

_This is it_, I thought, after James got done talking he was going to kill me, I would never see Vanessa or Edward again. But with any luck Edward had found the sketch I'd made up on the rooftop, and his love for me was beckoning him closer by the second. He would find Vanessa outside and take care of her. I knew that for sure.

"I used your friend – _Lauren_ was it? – to lure you out. I knew the little fortune-teller would see it. But then half the coven came with you, almost like they were your family. Most unfortunate. I realized you'd come after me sooner or later, once you remembered, _if_ you remembered. So I went and found Victoria. She was most uncooperative. But nothing I couldn't handle."

Oh God, how could he have ripped Victoria to pieces because of me? Had Vanessa seen him tear up the woman she'd believed to be her mother all these years? How could he do that? But I realized – as the cracks in my skull healed, and I felt my left hand reattach itself – that none of this had been about Vanessa, him and me becoming a family. It was all one of his sick games.

"It was easy to get Vanessa to send you that – I don't know – what would you call it? _Vision_?" James continued, and unlike me didn't notice the extra scent joining us in the room. I breathed a sigh of relief, finding myself capable of moving again. "She's been dying to meet you for such a long time. I hoped you'd make it harder, bring some of the others along, chase me, but you show up alone." I almost pitied him for not noticing. _Almost_. "Tell me, Bella, were you hoping you could take me on your own? Because right now I'm less than impressed," James concluded.

I smiled up at him bravely. "I'm not alone," I said.

James frowned down at me, realization dawned in his eyes, but Edward was on him before he turned. The force of their bodies colliding rumbled through the room like thunder and threw James to the other side of the room. His body impacted with the mirror wall hard, shattered glass raining down all over him.

Edward knelt down next to me. "Bella, are you okay?" his golden brown eyes were wild with concern. I hated being responsible for putting him through that kind of panic. I put a hand to his cheek, just as my other arm snapped back in place, leaving an ugly scar behind on my skin. Before I was able to say anything, we both heard a little gasp from the other side of the room; we both looked towards it.

It was Vanessa, standing near the entrance to the room.

Behind us, little shards of glass hit the floor.

It was James, getting up from the ground.

"Go," Edward whispered, looking down in my eyes longingly as I was looking up in his. He knew what I had to do. I knew what he had to do. We stood up together, and rushed to opposite sides of the room.

"You're alone," I heard James say to Edward behind me. Edward knew how to fight; Jasper had taught him and the other Cullens how to defend themselves, but I also knew that Edward might not be a match for James. But I had to get to Vanessa. "Faster than the others?" James questioned. He really had been watching us. "I doubt you're any stronger." James' words reflected my own fears.

I reached Vanessa within seconds. I pulled her to the side of the room, opening a large cupboard and beckoning her inside. "Sit here," I said, staring at her intently. "Cover your ears and close your eyes. Don't move until I come get you, okay?" She nodded at me frantically. I didn't know why, but in the moment my eyes met hers, so very similar in makeup, I realized she knew what I had to do. She knew I was going to help Edward kill her father.

I closed the doors to the cupboard, and was by Edward's side again in no time.

"Isn't this sweet?" After everything that had just happened, and being faced by two vampires now, James was still smiling. My hatred for him coiled up inside me like a fist around my heart; I was not going to allow him to leave this room alive. "Little Isabella Swan and Edward the mind-reader."

_Don't let him get to you, Edward_, I said in thought, because I saw Edward shaking where he stood. _We do this together._ Edward glanced at me sideways, but I kept my eyes trained on James. I knew that in James' thoughts, Edward was seeing me, as a human, head over heels in love with the devil James would prove to be. I felt thankful that he had already seen my side of the story.

"You know, Edward, she was so good," James continued. I knew Edward was doing everything in his power not to attack yet. I glanced at him briefly, but this time he was the one not letting James out of his sight. "And her smell, hmm, so sweet. Did she tell you about that? How she allowed me to touch her?"

I saw Edward snap before I saw him move, so I was able to move right alongside with him. We charged James together, pinning him down on the floor. I couldn't help but think about how he must have known Edward and me together would be strong enough for him. The thought got pushed aside however when I ripped off his arm, as he had mine, and Edward ripped off the other one. Still he kicked and screamed, doing what he could to harm us, but Edward managed to keep him down.

"This is for everything you took from me," I said, placing my hands on either sides of his face, and pulling, _screaming_, until cracks started showing in his skin along the line of his neck. James' head separated from his torso seconds later.

I stood up and straightened my shoulders, staring down at James. I'd done it; I'd taken out my revenge on the one scourge left in my life. I'd gotten payback at Victoria, and James, and I had found Vanessa. I now had everything I'd ever wanted. "Bella," Edward's voice brought me back to reality, a reality I felt now in sync with. "Don't ever do that to me again." His hands were on my face, eyes searching for mine. "You scared me half to death." I would have giggled at his statement if I had been able to.

"I thought I'd be strong enough." I looked up at him. He placed his forehead against mine. I should have known that it was Edward that gave me part of my strength. He was the missing half of me, Vanessa was the other. "I wanted to be strong enough."

"I know, love, I know." Edward hugged his arms tightly around me; my arms coiled around his torso hard, hands clinging to his shirt. I breathed him in, like I hadn't seen him in forever, but I needed him as close to me as he could possibly get.

"Well," a familiar and welcome voice sounded from behind us suddenly, two other pairs of footsteps accompanying my sister's. "Looks like we missed out on all the fun," Rosalie added.

I turned, and smiled at Alice, Jasper and Rosalie gratefully. Yes, how stupid I had been, and how damn lucky I was for being a part of this family. I stared down at James' body again, watching his body parts move; it was just as disgusting as it had been with Victoria's body. "Could you—" I started, and looked up at one half of my family.

"We'll take care of it, Bella," Jasper said softly.

I stared up at Edward again, and smiled. He leaned in, brushed his nose against mine, and kissed me firmly on the lips. "Go," he whispered against my lips, uttering the same words as before, only now they weren't laden with concern. He released me – albeit reluctantly – and I made my way across the room again.

I knelt down in front of the cupboard, where I found my beautiful angel hunched in a corner, teddy bear in her lap, eyes tightly shut and hands covering her ears. I hoped she hadn't heard or seen anything of what went on. "Nessa," I said softly, because the abbreviation of her name just seemed to make more sense to me. "Nessa, darling," I called again, and she raised her head slowly. "Hey, everything's okay, everything will be okay." She moved from her corner in the cupboard and all but jumped into my arms. I hugged her closer than I had ever hugged anyone. She felt a part of me; she _was_ a part of me. "You're safe now."

* * *

**THE END**


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